• To Cow:

    He/she who knows no bounds. One who knows no hate. ONE WHO IS THE TRUE ESSENCE OF "MOO." ONE WHO SHALL BE NAMED The British Cow!!



    Characters(Part 1):
    The British Cow
    Sir Jacobs
    Smith
    Dame 1


    Act 1:

    Sir Jacobs - The British Cow, would you please see me in my office. I need to have a word with you.

    The British Cow - Moo

    Sir Jacobs - Cow, please have a seat. It's tea time. Do feel free to grab yourself a cup of tea.

    The British Cow     - Moo

    Sir Jacobs - Ratha. I see you're not one to sugar coat anything. Lets get straight to business shall we? You see Cow, there have been reports of a serial killer running a muck in Welsh and I want you to investigate this matter. The killer seems to be targeting female salve makers in the local villages. So far there has only been six cases. Witnesses have reported a shadow quickly dashing away from each of the victim's homes. I'll assign Smith to the case as well.

    Smith bashes through the door. He has overheard the conversation.


    Smith     - SIR JACOBS!! You cannot leave me with such a loose cannon! YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME!!

    The British Cow - Moo....

    Sir Jacobs slamming his desk


    Sir Jacobs - SMITH, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!

    Smith - Sir, you must understand Cow's behavior! COW WILL ACT ON HIS/HER OWN! We still owe that craftsman for Cow's destruction!

    The British Cow quickly leaps out of his/her seat and slams Smith against the wall. The British Cow then stares into his eyes showing little emotion. User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.


    The British Cow     - Moo.......

    Sir Jacobs - That's enough Cow!

    Smith - No sir....Cow...Cow is right. I should not doubt Cow's position....

    The British Cow slowly lets him go.


    Sir Jacobs - Now that we have that settled there's the matter of---

    A phone call cuts him off


    Sir Jacobs     - Excuse me...

    He picks up the phone


    Sir Jacobs     - Vally Detective Agency, who is speaking?....Uh huh....Ratha....I see. Well I'll send my best team out to you. Good day mam.

    He hangs up.


    Sir Jacobs - We've got trouble. There's been another attack in Welsh. Go quickly and investigate this matter. Here's the address.

    He gives Cow a piece of paper


    Sir Jacobs - Do your best you two.

    The British Cow - Moo.



    Act 2:

    It's a foggy night in a dim atmosphere. The streets are clean, not a soul in sight, not a word whispered. There is only the sound of a gentle wind seeping through the local cemetery and of it's crypt follows the unnoticeable stench of death blissfully wisping the breeze. They arrive through cab, and are greeted by a local seamstress.


    Smith     - Good evening madame. I'm detective Smith and this is detective Cow.

    The British Cow - Moo.

    Dame 1     - Good evening detectives. I do believe my sister called you on the tele. she is away now.

    The British Cow(irritated) - Moo....

    Dame 1 - I see detective. Come, let me show you to my home. We will wait for my sister there.

    Smith     - I skipped supper, I fancy a cup o' tea.

    Dame 1 - I'll make you some, I do believe I have some steak and kidney pie left over too.

    The British Cow(shocked) - MOO!!!

    Smith - UH!! There will be no steak and kidney for us madam. Just tea please.

    The British Cow looks away in anger.


    Dame 1 - Very well then. Follow me.

    The two detectives follow her to her living space. In the midst of the quiet village, they spy a man in a dark cloak looking at them. You can barely make out his expression.

    They enter the house


    Dame 1 - Welcome detectives. Please wait in the room to your left while I ready the tea.

    Smith - Right.

    They sit in the room.


    The British Cow - ...........

    Smith     - Cow?

    The British Cow - Moo.....

    Smith - Cow, I don't think she meant ill by steak and kidney. Some people just don't think before they speak.

    The British Cow - Moo....

    Smith - What do you mean I don't understand?

    The British Cow - Moo.....

    Smith - I know I know, but that does not make her a murderer. Cow, everyone including yourself is respected by many of the outside world. You came from a farm in England. It might take some time to adjust to the way the Welsh live. steak and kidney is a way of life to them. And I'm sure they only use wild cows for their ingredients.

    The British Cow     - MOO!!

    Smith - It is not the same Cow. You are among us humans, don't digress from that.

    The British Cow - Moo...

    Smith - And you bare the heel of an Ox. Lighten up Cow.

    The British Cow - Moo

    Smith - Now now Cow, if I didn't care I would never had mentioned it Cow.

    The British Cow - Moo...

    Dame 1 enters with a tray of tea in her hands.


    Dame 1 - How are we detectives?

    The British Cow - Moo...

    Dame 1 - I see, very well then...

    Smith     - Can you tell us what you know?

    Dame 1 - Right...I can only tell you what I know.

    The British Cow - Moo.

    Dame 1 - Well, you see...

    Dame 1 is interrupted by her sister bashing though the door. Her dress is soaked in blood.


    The British Cow - MOO!!!

    Dame 1 - SIS!!!

    Smith - MY WORD!!!

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    To be continued...