- Her white paws pressed against the cold winter snow. One by one each flake melted on the tips of her fur and ears, melting and piercing her skin with a sting of cold. As she sniffed, her yellow eyes sparkled. Pressing her nose into the cold snow. Her white fur moving in the wind. She moves her ears to hear everything behind, in front, and to the side of her. All she can here is silence. She walks, sinking her paws in the white fluffed snow. The cold air stings her nose. She is free. She is Unleashed.
- by KrimsonVixen |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 09/12/2011 |
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- Title: Unleashed
- Artist: KrimsonVixen
- Description: A female white lone wolf feeling the outstanding freedom of being unleashed.
- Date: 09/12/2011
- Tags: unleashed wolf snow
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Comments (2 Comments)
- Lady Lagomorph - 12/13/2011
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Constructive criticism: first off, using "melting" twice in one sentence is repetitive - find an alternate word or way to describe this (although a wolf with a thick coat would likely not feel the cold much anyway). I see some sentence fragments, too, "here" used instead of "hear," and a change from past to present tone.
Not bad in concept, but keep working on it. Good luck! - Report As Spam
- TDA_Hellen - 09/26/2011
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plz more details like wat happened to her?
tell me more
i am writing a book about wolfs if u need help i can help u ^^ - Report As Spam
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