• Once more I fall
    into darkness.
    I close my eyes
    covered in the blanket of silence
    the thickness burns my lungs as I gasp for air
    struggling, calling out, someone please save me
    finally I am calm
    I open my eyes once more
    and hear a sound
    your voice
    I see a sight
    your face
    and a thousand knives are being driven into me
    and none of them hurt
    I know they are there
    I look down
    and in the pitch black I can still see
    the bright red of the blood that pours from me
    But I am numb to the physical pain
    I know I should be screaming
    in the silence
    I should make a sound
    but all I hear is your voice
    and I watch as a tear rolls down your face
    I bite my lip
    attempt to choke back tears
    Though I know that it is pointless
    I should at least try
    I know that I cannot let you know
    that I still love you
    that this is how it felt when you told me
    that you never loved me at all
    then I look at your face
    and I see the tears rolling down your cheek
    I have this strange urge to reach out
    to kiss you
    to hold you
    to let you know that it will all be okay
    the one I love
    so much
    and I tell you this
    and I am still reaching out for your hand
    But I feel my heart shatter
    So I start screaming and
    I fall to the floor and
    The pain is unbearable
    and I look down
    This is the part that scares me the most I think
    I look down and there is a knife
    in my hands
    and I know it is a sharp blade
    I look at you
    I look down at the knife in my hands
    You freeze
    I reach out and kiss you
    and say "I love you, I am sorry"
    You shake your head and give me a look of horror as I back away slowly
    I see you trying to reach me
    It only makes the pain worse
    All I can hear is screaming
    I don't know if it is yours
    if it is the voice of an angel,
    or if it is my own
    I see you one last time
    It looks as if you are trying to reach me but
    there is an invisible wall
    It blocks you
    I smile sadly, wiping away the tears one last time
    And then I press the knife against my wrist
    One more cut, this time, to seal the deal
    And then I realize you have stopped screaming and
    I see you are closer
    and I fall to the ground
    and you catch me
    and one last time
    I am in your arms
    and that one last time
    is enough for me
    so I close my eyes
    and drift to sleep

    and that is when I wake up crying
    Holding my broken heart