How do you stop loving someone?

[Star_of_the_future]

So i dont know, i hate him, so much, he's pissed me off and back stabbed me, and now i hear he has a girlfriend and it crushed me. I mean whats worse is he broke up with me because he thought he was gay. So how do you just stop loving someone, because i know i should hate him. Plus i dont even think he likes this girl because either before or while they were going out, he sent me a message say he loved me, followed by these songs lyrics where the main point of it was falling in love with a perfect person. so help me, i just can't get over him.  

[shani26]

I think if a guy send you love song when he is involved with someone else that means he doesn't love you. Any one who disrespect you doesn't love you. When i love someone i wan't to do good things for him and make him think he is really the best.
How to hate someone? well that easy thing of his worst qualty like lie. I hate every one who lie to me very easy. when i can't trust the words i am hearing i lose the desire to talk to the guy and then... well it becomes very boring to be around someone i don't want to talk to.  

[QUW00SH]

personally, i dont think its possible 2 suddenly decide 2 stop loving some1. once ur in love, ur in love, u just dont suddenly decide 2 hate them just cuz something bad happened. even if u focus on all his bad points and hate him, deep down, way deep down, the feelings u have 4 him will never truly disappear, it'll just be a fake image u placed in front of u to fool urself 2 make u feel better (that is, if its actual love, and u dont just think ur in love). The best thing to do in a situation like this, is to move on. dont focus urself on hating him, cuz then ur still focused on him.  

[shani26]

Saphire1579

personally, i dont think its possible 2 suddenly decide 2 stop loving some1. once ur in love, ur in love, u just dont suddenly decide 2 hate them just cuz something bad happened. even if u focus on all his bad points and hate him, deep down, way deep down, the feelings u have 4 him will never truly disappear, it'll just be a fake image u placed in front of u to fool urself 2 make u feel better (that is, if its actual love, and u dont just think ur in love). The best thing to do in a situation like this, is to move on. dont focus urself on hating him, cuz then ur still focused on him.

It isn't about a deciding stuff, really not. It is about not being around somebody who doesn't respect you. Any way from my experince you don't stop love a guy cuz he is laying, but it does make you feel apart from him.
I had a friend who i really love but can never belive one word she said. so when i talk to her it was like talking to a girl who is obssed with fantsy, and it was like playing role playing or something like that. I love role playing, but at the end when you really trying to be good friend to someone, you want to talk with him and not with fantsy. Realaty allways strong, and it is hard to be in realationship with someone who prefer the unreal verses the real.  

[lil_lollypop1]

I wish life were that easy. I fell in love with a guy, broke up with him cause he was a jerk, but he's doing all he can to make me pay for it. Just tell yourself to face the facts. He isn't worth you!  

[shani26]

lil_lollypop1

I wish life were that easy. I fell in love with a guy, broke up with him cause he was a jerk, but he's doing all he can to make me pay for it. Just tell yourself to face the facts. He isn't worth you!

Pay for it? mybe you should try to hook him up with other girls so then he will leave you.  

[Ragnius]

it seems, to me,

your primary problem is that you're emotionally attached and ar emsitaking that attachment for love

yo usee Love is being able to accept them for whom they are, no matter how the world sees them or you or the both of you

yet, in a realtionship to love, you must first Like

i am a christian, so thus i msut love every human being, but no, i dont have to like them, but yes i want to,

as for the girl(s) i'm debating in my mind whom i'd like more: i like and love them, but there are some girls, the one whom namely act ditzy or in-the-moment likethati show christian love to but dont like or emotionally attach to them

to break you emotional attachment requires so much more will than to create the attachments

the wa yo ubreak this 'shackle' is as simple as this: Forgive their criems against you, and forget they made the crime to you, since you're a girl, it may be harder yes, but it's the only effective way

you see both girls i'm in love with atm, i EARNED their favor to make them my friend first, then became emotionally attached
did this boy earn your favor in any 'just-friends' way? if not then yes, he'll break up with you for unacceptable reasons

if, however a boy should basically be 'the girl's servant' then this following method would be the one to look for and is simply the best strategy a guy can use

the boy must try to earn the girl, and the girl should thus acknowledge his efforts, but assess the boy's actions before she accepts him, and she she feel he gave her enough loyalty for her heart, then she may give him her heart

some girls dont like guys doing this - i know that - but hoenstly it's a sign of integreity and devoution to that one person, a sort of ultimate flattery, but without the "creepy" parts held within flattery itself

i flatter a girl by being a gentleman - find what your heart seek in a guy, then when a guy wants to hook up with you - make you're hearts hugest priced deman and see if he rolls with it if not - then let him go  

[White Siren Queen]

Aww Heck

it seems, to me,

your primary problem is that you're emotionally attached and ar emsitaking that attachment for love

yo usee Love is being able to accept them for whom they are, no matter how the world sees them or you or the both of you

yet, in a realtionship to love, you must first Like

i am a christian, so thus i msut love every human being, but no, i dont have to like them, but yes i want to,

as for the girl(s) i'm debating in my mind whom i'd like more: i like and love them, but there are some girls, the one whom namely act ditzy or in-the-moment likethati show christian love to but dont like or emotionally attach to them

to break you emotional attachment requires so much more will than to create the attachments

the wa yo ubreak this 'shackle' is as simple as this: Forgive their criems against you, and forget they made the crime to you, since you're a girl, it may be harder yes, but it's the only effective way

you see both girls i'm in love with atm, i EARNED their favor to make them my friend first, then became emotionally attached
did this boy earn your favor in any 'just-friends' way? if not then yes, he'll break up with you for unacceptable reasons

if, however a boy should basically be 'the girl's servant' then this following method would be the one to look for and is simply the best strategy a guy can use

the boy must try to earn the girl, and the girl should thus acknowledge his efforts, but assess the boy's actions before she accepts him, and she she feel he gave her enough loyalty for her heart, then she may give him her heart

some girls dont like guys doing this - i know that - but hoenstly it's a sign of integreity and devoution to that one person, a sort of ultimate flattery, but without the "creepy" parts held within flattery itself

i flatter a girl by being a gentleman - find what your heart seek in a guy, then when a guy wants to hook up with you - make you're hearts hugest priced deman and see if he rolls with it if not - then let him go

What he says is absolutely right. I am a Christian myself. And yes, these facts are true.

Quote:

Saphire1579
Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 6:14 pm

personally, i dont think its possible 2 suddenly decide 2 stop loving some1. once ur in love, ur in love, u just dont suddenly decide 2 hate them just cuz something bad happened. even if u focus on all his bad points and hate him, deep down, way deep down, the feelings u have 4 him will never truly disappear, it'll just be a fake image u placed in front of u to fool urself 2 make u feel better (that is, if its actual love, and u dont just think ur in love). The best thing to do in a situation like this, is to move on. dont focus urself on hating him, cuz then ur still focused on him.

What Saphire says is also true. You can never forget you loved someone. But also You cannot begin to mend wounds if you keep opening them right? You need to get the fact straight. He hurt you. Now it's his turn to hurt. And he Will hurt if he truly loves you. Regret is one of the worst pains in the world, seeing it deals a lot with the subject of "opportunities." He lost his "Opportunity" to share a bonding love with you. That's his loss.
And that only means that there's someone a million times better for you.

And again, to what Heck had said, a man needs to Earn his woman. He needs to work for her. Sacrifice for her. Give his All to her. If this boy that broke your heart didn't do that, and doesn't do it now to try and GET you back, then he doesn't love you. Sorry to say it sweety.
And mere love songs won't do the trick.
If he's still in a relationship and sending you notes of love, and he says "I love you." You go right on and say "Bullsh*t" Cause if he loves you, he wouldn't be with that girl in the first place. He would've sucked it up, been a man, and told that girl he loves someone else, and he should be with you at this very moment.  

[Nariko914]

There really is no way to speed up the slow process of getting over someone - it takes time and you must be patient. Occupy yourself with other things - maybe you could take extra-curricular activities at school, or hang out with friends away from where you know your ex will be.
By the way you described him, he is an extremely immature boy and definitely not someone who you could benefit from in a relationship. He doesn't seem to know what he wants (proven by the fact that he apparently "still loves you," and is yet dating someone else). He may even be doing all of this simply to hurt you. He doesn't seem to care about your feelings or be mature enough to make good decisions about what he wants.
If nothing else (and the following statement should be my catch phrase), you could always talk to a therapist or counselor about how you are feeling. They really do care, and they can even help you to get out there and take part in other activities that will distract you from your pain and eventually help you to heal.
If none of that's possible, you are also welcome to PM me if you ever need to.  

[Lunar_Sunset]

i can tell u this from personal experince. u will knw whenu stop lovin someone its not something u can just stop doing. also for the past few weeks i have tried everything to stop loving someone but i just cant. meh advice is dont try just live and see what happens.  

[Eldako]

This is honestly a very complicated thing love always is....

I will tell you what happened to me.

I had been stabbed in the back and betrayed by many people. Honestly I had almost no trust for anyone. I felt hurt and broken. My heart was shattered and I could not bare to talk to anyone. Then I met this one person who when we talked I felt joy and happiness. Slowly I began to fall for her. I thought finally I had met the perfect person for me. One who was honest and true and could mend my shattered heart.

She told me she loved me and I told her I loved her too. We would talk for long hours into the night it was wonderful. I thought nothing could hurt me now. I even started talking to people in general more. My confidence which was once non existant was now growing.

Then we talked about going to NY together and I thought this would be great. Before the plans had been set up though. I found out something that brought everything crashing down so hard on me I could hardly breathe. The person I felt was the one... my savior from my darkness. Had betrayed me for my best friend.....

I wanted to hate her for this I wanted to tell her how much of a b*****d she was.... but.... for some reason I couldn't... I still down deep inside cared for her. I wanted her to be happy. Which was insane to me because of what she had done for some odd reason I wanted her to be happy.

She told me she still wanted to spend time with me and be my "friend". Because I still felt I wanted to be with her. I could not be just her "friend". It just hurt to much to be near her when she was going out with my best friend. So I decided I would just try to erase her from my memory, try to distance myself from the situation and just stay away from her and my best friend. I have done so and am still not socializing with either of them. I have not seen my best friend in so long now.

The sad thing is.... if I see her name.... or hear someone say said name... I sometimes start to cry. She hurt me so bad, but I still felt something for her. I guess that is why they say "Love hurts".

Love is very complicated and can make you go from feelings of joy to longing to be with said person, to the depts of depression when the person you love hurts you or betrays you. If this happens the best thing you can do is try to distance yourself. Try not to think to much about it. I know this can be hard if you see the person daily, but honestly if he betrayed you. Then I do not think he cares enough about you. I think it is on him to prove that statement wrong. I do not think you should hate him or depress yourself over the issue.

Give it time. Time is the only thing that can mend a broken heart. I am still waiting for mine to mend.

If you or anyone ever needs someone to talk to I will be glad to do so. I wish you the best in what ever you decide to do and I wish you happiness as well.  

[kada-chu]

Hm... the barrier between love and hate can often be a thin one. It seems like you're still attached to him in some way. The best thing for it is (if you want to take drastic measures) is to cut all contact with him, then time will just erase it from your psyche. Try not to even think about him, thinking about how much you hate him can often just lead to ongoing resentment, despite him possibly deserving it, which'll just keep thoughts of him in your head, which is on its own an attachment. So just keep your thoughts away from him and his activities by any means possible :3  

[myruna-chan]

Im agree with Eidako...i had suffered also because of love...long story, so i will tell you just what i think...

true love is that, to wish for someone happiness instead of only yours,thats good, that proves how much you loved that person...but i must say something that i learned after thinking over it again,and again and again.

..Love is that...but two (TWO!) people have to feel that, if that person doesn't feel it, and dont have any respect of your feelings and looks like enjoy hurting you..or just trying to be your "friend" after betrayal...i must say that kind of persons arent the right ones for us.

We deserve soeone that can love us in that way...Love is a too deep word, but we need to know that a lot of persons just say them because "i felt i was in the mood" or because the "thought they had to" or because they thought it would be like in the movies ..thats wrong... This is reality...

.i think they feel like if they say that, that would make us happy and keep us quiet...that is wrong because it hurts others.. i still love him...but i have my pride, i worth someone that can value my feelings, i think i deserve it...i will care for him as a friend always but even if it hurts , even if he comes one day saying "i want t be with you" i will never accept him in that way...he had my feelings but he throw the away...i deserve a true love and a constructive relationship..and i will fight for it even if that means to loose him forever

hope this can help someone n_n  

[mistress_hydro]

stop thinking about him and try falling for someone new.  

[Mithrellas]

I want to say that he doesn't know what he wants and is just jerking you around, so try to forget him.
But I know that's much, much easier said than done.