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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 5:17 pm
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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 6:33 pm
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Three jokes I remember hearing. Two from a friend, one online, and I can't help but mentally link all three to Hetalia. They're all really lame, yes.
Note: I really don't care much for politics, so don't get all offended by the first. Then again, if you're reading Axis Powers Hetalia... -cough- And the second one? Of course, the hero can't die! He's /the hero/.
1. Sarah Palin is sooooo fat, Russia can see her from his house!
2. A plane is flying over the ocean. There are five people on it: the pilot, a Frenchman, an Englishman, a Mexican, and an American. As they're flying, the plane begans going lower and lower. So the pilot tells the passengers that one of them will have to jump or else they'll all crash into the ocean. The Frenchman offers to jump. He shouts "Vive la France!" and jumps. For a while, things are fine. However, the plane begins flying lower and lower again. So the pilot turns and tells the passengers that another one of them will have to jump or else they'll all crash into the ocean. This time, the Englishman offers to go. He shouts "God bless the Queen!" and jumps. Again, things are fine... but only for a while. Again, the plane begins flying lower and lower, and again the pilot tells them that one of the passengers will have to jump or else they'll all crash into the ocean. This time, the American shouts "Remember the Alamo!" ... and pushes the Mexican out.
3. A Frenchman, a German, and a Russian go on a safari and are trapped by cannibals. They are brought to the chief, who says, "We are going to eat you right now. But I am a civilized man, I studied human rights at the Patrice Lumumba University in Moscow, so I'll grant each of you a last request." The German asks for a mug of beer and a bratwurst. He gets it, and cannibals eat him. The French asks for three girls. He has crazy sex with them, and then follows the German. The Russian asks: "Hit me hard, right on my nose." The chief is surprised, but hits him. The Russian pulls out a Kalashnikov (AK-47) and shoots all the cannibals. The mortally wounded chief asks him: "Why didn't you do this before we ate the German?" The Russian proudly replies: "Russians are not aggressors!"
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 12:22 am
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:16 am
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 3:02 pm
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Canada-tan 3. A Frenchman, a German, and a Russian go on a safari and are trapped by cannibals. They are brought to the chief, who says, "We are going to eat you right now. But I am a civilized man, I studied human rights at the Patrice Lumumba University in Moscow, so I'll grant each of you a last request." The German asks for a mug of beer and a bratwurst. He gets it, and cannibals eat him. The French asks for three girls. He has crazy sex with them, and then follows the German. The Russian asks: "Hit me hard, right on my nose." The chief is surprised, but hits him. The Russian pulls out a Kalashnikov (AK-47) and shoots all the cannibals. The mortally wounded chief asks him: "Why didn't you do this before we ate the German?" The Russian proudly replies: "Russians are not aggressors!"
OH GOD XD That was the best!
I also love the cows one. The first time I read it I was so confused though XD -Slow sometimes.-
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 6:11 pm
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because I love Polish jokes (I was brought up on them! XD my polish grandpa told them to me all the time when I was a kid...)
A Pole, English, and French guy are running away from the German soldiers when they come up to a forest and they decide to hide by each climbing a tree. When the Germans arrive, they go to the first tree where the English guy is, and shout, "We know you're up there; come down." The English guy, thinking fast, says, "Twit, twit, twit..." The Germans, thinking that it's a bird, move on to the next tree where the French guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up there; come down." The French guy, thinking fast, says, "Woo, woo, woo..." The Germans, thinking that it's an owl, move on to the next tree where the Polish guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up there; come down." The Polish guy thinks for a while and then says, "Moo, moo, moo..."
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 6:14 pm
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 6:21 pm
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 6:22 pm
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Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 8:14 am
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Quote:
2. A plane is flying over the ocean. There are five people on it: the pilot, a Frenchman, an Englishman, a Mexican, and an American. As they're flying, the plane begans going lower and lower. So the pilot tells the passengers that one of them will have to jump or else they'll all crash into the ocean. The Frenchman offers to jump. He shouts "Vive la France!" and jumps. For a while, things are fine. However, the plane begins flying lower and lower again. So the pilot turns and tells the passengers that another one of them will have to jump or else they'll all crash into the ocean. This time, the Englishman offers to go. He shouts "God bless the Queen!" and jumps. Again, things are fine... but only for a while. Again, the plane begins flying lower and lower, and again the pilot tells them that one of the passengers will have to jump or else they'll all crash into the ocean. This time, the American shouts "Remember the Alamo!" ... and pushes the Mexican out.
SFKJLKJLDF LMAO!!!!!!! XD Oh god.... *wheezes* Al you son of a gun you.... I heart you to DEATH. Why so mean to the poor mexicanos? Pfff....that's so American. =.=' Abuse the Mexican. I bet he was Texan.
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Posted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 9:45 am
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Sealand-tan because I love Polish jokes (I was brought up on them! XD my polish grandpa told them to me all the time when I was a kid...) A Pole, English, and French guy are running away from the German soldiers when they come up to a forest and they decide to hide by each climbing a tree. When the Germans arrive, they go to the first tree where the English guy is, and shout, "We know you're up there; come down." The English guy, thinking fast, says, "Twit, twit, twit..." The Germans, thinking that it's a bird, move on to the next tree where the French guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up there; come down." The French guy, thinking fast, says, "Woo, woo, woo..." The Germans, thinking that it's an owl, move on to the next tree where the Polish guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up there; come down." The Polish guy thinks for a while and then says, "Moo, moo, moo..."
OMG I wanna draw taht one too! XD
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Posted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 9:51 am
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Posted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 12:13 pm
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Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 4:38 pm
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Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 4:52 pm
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