Younger Guys... is it wrong?

[butterflyrosem]

See, I've dated younger guys, but never 10 years younger, but there's this... 10 years younger seems like forever to me... guy. He's 10 years younger than I am, but he's so sweet, & really cute. Is it wrong? Is it weird? What's the poll on the subject?  

[Veddhartha]

It depends on personalities, and by what I've watched close, also of the age of younger one.
Someone very close to me is frustrated because she has dated younger guys and every time got her fingers burned, this time badly. She refers herself as a trainer to young men. She is the school for being in relationship to them, but they always say thanks and move away. If you don't feel like being teacher or semi-mother figure, you're on safer path... wink  

[The Last Chase]

Honestly I don't think dating a younger guy is the best idea. A few years between you two isn't a big deal, but ten? How old is he?
Guy's mature at a different rate than girls and that has a lot to do with why women date older men, because then their maturity levels match.
Do I think it's wrong? No, not really. Do I think it's a wise idea? No, not at all. I'd suggest finding someone more around your age. It could actually end up hurting both of you in the end.  

[ThisEmptySoul]

The Last Chase

Guy's mature at a different rate than girls and that has a lot to do with why women date older men, because then their maturity levels match.

As demeaning as this sounds to guys, it's actually pretty accurate. While guys generally take a bit longer to "mature", there are exceptions. I personally wouldn't take the risk hoping there's an exception, though.

I wouldn't say that it's "wrong" to date a younger guy, but many will find it odd since the younger woman/older man model is far more common.

As Veddhartha said, it depends a lot on personalities. {Age of the younger one is also often a factor, but not always as important.} You would have to be willing to take the risk of being with someone who isn't necessarily looking for the same things in a relationship that you are.

I've actually been with a woman almost 10 years older than me before {I believe it was actually 8 years if I recall correctly}. It seemed fine at first, but every little thing I did that I didn't personally find harmful or offensive was scrutinized {such as chatting with females online and having female friends}. Of course, I think part of the problem wasn't so much our age difference as it was that she was possessive, but thinking back it's also possible that my age made her more paranoid of my actions than she would have been if I was closer to her age. There was a lot of distrust, which is why it didn't work.

Theoretically such a relationship could still work and you shouldn't let what others say and think discourage you if you honestly think it could work out for you, but you're a lot safer going with someone closer to your own age. Just because someone is "sweet" and "cute" doesn't mean they are dating material. Something to keep in mind.  

[Patron with a Mission]

Year or so younger, not really. Maybe even three years younger.

But ten?? I really don't think that's a good idea. Will you enjoy his "rap" and will he enjoy your "education"?

I'm not saying that's it, but you know, it's an example. My point is that young and old people don't have much in common. Unless you're lucky.  

[Shinigami Unity]

I disagree with the comment before mine. I am 24 years old but given the path my life has lead me on, I have more in common with people in their late 30s to 40s. In fact, I hang out with that age group.

I myself prefer older men and wouldn't date more than months younger than my own age (given that I am already out of touch with 20somethings), but I don't really see an issue.

If I fell in love with a man 10 years younger than me (okay let's assume I'm older so it wouldnt be illegal)? Why does age matter? I would just say be careful - but I'd say that to someone starting a new relationship anyway.

There are norms - but there are people who defy those norms.

For the record: I am dating a man who is 8 months younger than I am. I love hm to death, but sometimes he does drive me nuts. smile  

[The Last Chase]

I'm not saying it's mornaly wrong, it happens, obviously not a whole lot, but it does.
The only problem is the maturiy thing. I can understand a woman dating an older man, but the other way around ends up being messy.
I've known a few women who have dated younger guys and it never works out. They would end up facing problems that many people do when they have so many years between them.
It can be seriously painful.  

[Fushigi na Butterfly]

I'm very curious to know your ages. If you're 30 and he's 20 ... there's likely going to be alot of issues with what each of you wants in a relationship, and in general. I'm 22, and pretty much, my priorities are keeping my job so I can pay my bills, moving out, and paying off my school loans. Someone ten years older than me would likely have a much better paying job and would probably be thinking about children. I love kids, but I'm not ready to have my own just yet.

Once you get into the older age bracket, the ten year difference isn't really that different. A 40 year old and a 30 year generally have similar interests and desires, and they get closer in goals as they get older.  

[Chimaria]

younger, just older than 18.

it's funny, i just had a conversation with a co-worker she was talking about the trophy of having a much younger man. at MY age 40'something that would be SOMETHING! biggrin naturally our co-workers and family and friends would have a quiet word among themselves, not matter how well you are matched. Are we talking serious? Are we talking life long commitment? 20 year diff might be a stretch, not impossible, but for a long commitment, the young man could be giving up a chance to start a family.
if your hearts are in the same place...what does it matter?

it's all part of the life experience... heart

*sadly thinking of what can never be*  

[Corbin Noir]

As long as both sides are over 18 and approach each other honestly, I don't see anything morally objectionable. Then again, I don't really see a lot of problems with age differences to begin with.  

[Malheureux]

There's nothing morally wrong with it... that said... a friend of mine dated, and subsequently married, a man 10 years her junior. As you've said, he was sweet, kind, thoughtful and all the rest. However, the problem is with the maturity level. He just couldn't get it when things needed doing or the "I wants" should've been put on hold for the "we needs" to be met. They're having major marrital and financial problems and it's mainly to do with the major difference in maturity. If they can stick it out another 10 or 15 years I'm sure he'll come around. But who the hell wants to wait that long while standing in misery?!?

Now if it's just for amazing sex that's a horse of a different color... razz  

[katana68]

Corbin Noir

As long as both sides are over 18 and approach each other honestly, I don't see anything morally objectionable. Then again, I don't really see a lot of problems with age differences to begin with.

I totally agree....the age you are does not necessarily reflect how you feel. There are several younger people who are mature for their age, as well as older people who love life and feel younger than they are. As long as two people care about each other, does it really matter what other people think?  

[lady ayami chan]

Nothing long here just a heads up that a close friend of mine's parents are 10 years apart in age and seem to be perfectly happy and lovely.
So it can be done. 3nodding  

[bandaidd]

Depends on the age and maturity of you both. A 50 and 40 year old may have it easier than a 26 and 16 year old.
One thing to consider is that on average, guys die 10 years younger than gals. So if you make him a life partner and don't want to be left alone when he dies, the age difference is ideal!  

[Auntie in the Attic]

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. My husband is 11 years younger than I am and our relationship is very strong. We share ideas and likes and dislikes and have learned to compromise on the sticky things. We have a 13 year old daughter together and we both adore her.
By the way I am 47 and he is 36. When we met he was in his mid twentys and I in my mid thirtys. It can work but you both have to want the relationship to work out.