Serious Question For Transgenders

[Bridget Paloumar]

I have a dead serious question for the transgenders in this group, and I swear I am NOT trying to make fun of any of you. This is a serious question I have that a friend and I were puzzling over a while back and I just happened to be thinking about today: If you are transgendered (for example here, a male to female), which bathroom would you use? Could you technically use the female's bathroom, or would you still have to use the male's?

I admit, I know next to nothing about transgenders, and I seriously want to know the answer to this. Please, just don't rip me apart over my naivety. I really, honestly, truly do not understand how these kinds of things would work for you.  

[Le Scratch]

This is just my opinion, but I imagine they would use the bathroom of their body. So, if they hadn't had a sex change, they would use the one of their original gender and if they had they would go with the new one.

But that's just an opinion so don't take it too seriously. xD  

[Bridget Paloumar]

After re-reading this, perhaps I should clarify a point. Perhaps the question I should have posed is how are transgenders legally viewed? Because if a guy goes into a girls' bathroom, he's going to get into all kinds of trouble. But if he's a MTF transgender, would said person be considered (under the law) a he or a she?  

[Le Scratch]

I'm not quite sure. You would probably have to delve deeply into the law-books to find that one, as there are very few, as a percentage of the national population, who have undergone a sex change.  

[Jeannette Willow]

Much depends on how far into the process a person is. If you just feel trans, that's not enough. If (using MtF as the example) you've been getting (or, ideally are through with) electrolysis, are on hormones for a while, are seeing a therapist (who'll give you the magical "get out of jail free" letter covering this problem) and, eventually get your name changed, a new ID with "F" and are now in RLT (the Real Life Test stage we must complete before surgery), well, yes, we use the women's room. I went through all this back in 1995.

If you have more questions, ask.  

[Alla Morte]

my school had a problem with this, and actually what they did was if your transgendered, use the bathroom in which the other people using it doesnt turn you on lol
it was a terrible idea because straight guys starting going into the girls bathroom and then they changed it to which sex you are, you use that bathroom. rolleyes  

[Pink Plaid]

Whichever one you feel most comfortable using, and as well if you are out and living the life style or not.

If you are trans but still living your life as your born sex then generally you would use that washroom as not to stand out.

But if you are living your life as your true gender then you should be using that washroom.

Being transgendered still has so much hostility towards it and it is very dangerous to really be out about it. So if you are biologically male but dressed as your true gender, a woman, it would be so dangerous for you to have to be forced to use the mens room. Thats humiliating, forcing you to be outted, dangerous, and just straight up wrong.

Just because someone hasn't had the operation to become their desired gender doesn't mean they aren't. A woman is a woman because of how she feels on the inside, not because of her body parts, and vice versa.  

[Miss Enia]

I have a friend who has been on hormones for two years, but has not had surgery. She has been using the womans bathroom since shortly after starting hormones (around the time she started living and "passing" full time as a woman). This has not been a problem and her employer is aware of the situation.
On the other hand, I have another friend who was not aloud to use either bathroom at her previous job even though she was legally female, living full time and had been through surgery. She had to walk 10 minutes away to the closest public bathroom in a dangerous part of town.

To my knowledge there are no national laws in the U.S. in regards to transgender bathroom use (some states have laws, but not most). It varies from place to place. It's possible that ENDA (Employment non-discrimination act) might help, but at this point ENDA is unlikely to be voted on in time to pass this year and even if it does there is a good chance that language will be included to exempt bathrooms from the new rules.
Often times it is up to the owner of the bathroom. In general though, if you are perceived as female then the womans bathroom is the place to go and vica versa.  

[I-Asking Alexandria-I]

Bridget Paloumar

I have a dead serious question for the transgenders in this group, and I swear I am NOT trying to make fun of any of you. This is a serious question I have that a friend and I were puzzling over a while back and I just happened to be thinking about today: If you are transgendered (for example here, a male to female), which bathroom would you use? Could you technically use the female's bathroom, or would you still have to use the male's?

I admit, I know next to nothing about transgenders, and I seriously want to know the answer to this. Please, just don't rip me apart over my naivety. I really, honestly, truly do not understand how these kinds of things would work for you.

question easily answered, my moms a transgendered individual, male to female. and she uses the girls bathroom, like on her drivers license its licensed as female. So she is considered a woman and uses the womans bathroom.  

[NuSith]

I'm not fully passable as male yet so I still use the woman's room, allthough sometimes I get funny looks. I try and look for non discrpt bathrooms, or unisexed bathrooms, but those are near to impossable to find at most places other than small family owned shops. I have used the men's room a few times. I just don't a crap some days, when ya gotta go you gotta go lol.  

[Negau-chan]

I am transgender, Male to Female (MtF). I live in Pennsylvania, where there is no statewide legal protection for transgendered individuals. My county has no protection either.

What this means, in short, is that if I am discovered in a woman's bathroom, but not legally considered a woman, I can be kicked out of that place or possibly even arrested. However, Ive been on hormones almost a year, and its getting harder and harder for anyone to believe I'm male. I dress femininely. So, if I use a male bathroom, it is very difficult. I look, act, and sound female. While most times, this jsut results in an awkward situation, this also puts me at great risks. I dont use bathrooms when I go to bars, as I am worried about a drunk man causing problems, getting too grabby, or just harassing me (all of which have happened outside the restroom with drunk guys)

So, its really difficult. Face legal risk or personal risk. The policy I tend to go with is "the bathroom of least resistance." If I am dressed female and looking feminine, I use the woman's room. If I am dressed androgynously or male, I use the man's. Not getting questions asked means much less risk for trouble  

[Scarecrow Diablerie]

I'm MTF, and I don't feel like risking legal action to use the women's room, so I use the men's room.  

[Whigg]

I'm FtM and use the girls' room >_>;
I'm too scared of people's reactions to use the guys' room- I dress male, but still am built very effeminately and, you know, don't have the right parts. I'm pretty cowardly, I'll admit. But.
I just think that places should just have unisex bathrooms with stalls, 'cause no one's seeing anything if everyone's in stalls, but whatever. Pipe dream, I s'pose.
You have to understand that everyone does these things differently. It probably has a lot to do with how secure someone is in their gender identity, and how well they pass, which is very different for everyone.
I know that part of the reason I don't use the men's room is because I feel like I couldn't pass if my life depended on it right now, and would get a lot of "miss, the ladies' room is across the hall." That's what's keeping me from doing it- that and a general indifference towards where I'm taking a piss.
But someone else might feel differently, or be far more confident than I am, or just generally pass better.
Just like how not everyone transitions the same way; not everyone goes on testosterone or estrogen, not everyone gets top surgery, not everyone gets bottom surgery. There is, as they say, no one way to be trans- the same applies to which bathroom a trans person opts to use.

 

[Negau-chan]

Whigg

I'm FtM and use the girls' room >_>;
I'm too scared of people's reactions to use the guys' room- I dress male, but still am built very effeminately and, you know, don't have the right parts. I'm pretty cowardly, I'll admit. But.
I just think that places should just have unisex bathrooms with stalls, 'cause no one's seeing anything if everyone's in stalls, but whatever. Pipe dream, I s'pose.
You have to understand that everyone does these things differently. It probably has a lot to do with how secure someone is in their gender identity, and how well they pass, which is very different for everyone...

Whigg I completely agree with you. I'm in the same boat, I dont feel like I pass sometimes (though its gotten less and less lately). I cant go into a woman's room when I feel so insecure. Often, I feel more comfortable using the ladies room when I'm not alone. Noone will question you if you go in with a group of cisgendered people, and even if they do, your friends would stand up for you and it would blow over.

Everyone transitions differently at different paces. Bathrooms are one of the huge "checkpoints" in transition. Eventually, if you are transexual at least, you come to a point you cause less confusion using the bathroom of choice rather than the legally correct bathroom. When that point is varies on effects of hormones, how well you "pass," and your own confidence.  

[Tsukiko Yamayuri]

Whigg

I just think that places should just have unisex bathrooms with stalls, 'cause no one's seeing anything if everyone's in stalls, but whatever. Pipe dream, I s'pose.

I've always thought that that should be the case, but more for efficiency purposes, than anything else. Someone did point out to me once that it could be dangerous for females, since the males might attempt rape due to it being an enclosed space without supervision. And I admit that that is a problem, however, when I worked at the Pri-Mart truck stop our staff was all female, and someone had to clean the men's room, so guess who ended up doing it. Due to secret shopper inspections we had to clean the bathrooms every hour. Also we weren't allowed to deny anyone use of the bathroom while we were cleaning it so we had to allow the men to come in and use it while we were cleaning it. I would politely ask them to use the stall for all purposes but some didn't give a damn and would use the urinal right in front of me. I've also been known to use the men's room when the line for the women's was too long, but that's just me. Sometimes I don't give a damn, because I don't have the time or I don't want to piss my pants.