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 Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 6:20 pm
I had a boyfriend in middle school that I broke up with years ago because a) he was moving an ocean and a continent away and b) he made me feel terrible most of the time (I later learned in high school what he was doing was called "emotional abuse"). Anyway, since he's moved he periodically calls my house every few months to check if I'm still single and pry into my life.
The first couple of times, I politely asked him to stop calling. After that I was more stern, and finally, last time (which was a few months ago) I practically yelled at him outright that I am not interested in him anymore and that I hate it when he calls me, so he should stop.
Well, someone has been calling my house lately and hanging up when one of my parents pick up the phone. We don't have caller ID, but this is what my ex did last time, so both I and my parents figure it's probably him.
The thing is... I have no idea what else to say to him. I thought for sure the stuff I said last time would make him stop. But he just won't quit!
I've tried telling him I'm not single, that I don't miss him, I've yelled at him to stop calling my house, I told him what he did is called emotional abuse, I've hung up on him after I finished yelling... I have nothing left to say. But he keeps calling! ARGH! >_<
So, has anyone ever had a persistent ex before? How the heck do I get this guy to stop calling my house?
(And "change your phone number" isn't an option because I already asked my mom and she said it would be too much trouble to do that)
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Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 6:36 pm
hmmmm....sounds like my ex except te abuse. he would tell me that he loved me and so on. giving me cds to listen to...which explained for him in song. i had to write him the nastiest latter a girl could ever write. i didn't mean to hurt his feelings, but that's how i really felt about him. my ex boyfriend calls me his freind and nothing more then that. so you should tell him how you feel and pour it all out. tell him how he treated you and get into details about how you felt about it. then tell him how you feel about him now....again the details counts.
goodluck! wink
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Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 2:41 am
Death At Will hmmmm....sounds like my ex except te abuse. he would tell me that he loved me and so on. giving me cds to listen to...which explained for him in song. i had to write him the nastiest latter a girl could ever write. i didn't mean to hurt his feelings, but that's how i really felt about him. my ex boyfriend calls me his freind and nothing more then that. so you should tell him how you feel and pour it all out. tell him how he treated you and get into details about how you felt about it. then tell him how you feel about him now....again the details counts. goodluck! wink He acts like he doesn't care. OR he starts crying. -_- Honestly, it'll be kind of hard for me to go into detail about something that happened 4 years ago. I guess I can try, though. One of my friends suggested I change my voice (a talent I've recently acquired in the last couple of years) and when I pick up the phone, lie to him and tell him that the family who lived here moved out and then give him a bad number for the "new number". But I'm not sure if he'd believe me or if he'd even take the hint and stop calling.
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Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 4:55 am
MiaIkumis#1Fan Death At Will hmmmm....sounds like my ex except te abuse. he would tell me that he loved me and so on. giving me cds to listen to...which explained for him in song. i had to write him the nastiest latter a girl could ever write. i didn't mean to hurt his feelings, but that's how i really felt about him. my ex boyfriend calls me his freind and nothing more then that. so you should tell him how you feel and pour it all out. tell him how he treated you and get into details about how you felt about it. then tell him how you feel about him now....again the details counts. goodluck! wink He acts like he doesn't care. OR he starts crying. -_- Honestly, it'll be kind of hard for me to go into detail about something that happened 4 years ago. I guess I can try, though. One of my friends suggested I change my voice (a talent I've recently acquired in the last couple of years) and when I pick up the phone, lie to him and tell him that the family who lived here moved out and then give him a bad number for the "new number". But I'm not sure if he'd believe me or if he'd even take the hint and stop calling. Well that is an idea and what not to try, it's better to try than do nothing, am I right or no? You tried over and over telling him you don't want him and you don't love him anymore yet he still calls. I can give you some ideas right now: 1) If he ask if you're still single tell him 'no' even if it's true or not and see if he understands that you don't need nor want him. 2) He has beening bothering you for awhile now so I assume he just wants you back or bothering you. So you can also file a report for harassment, not sexual harassment but like stalker-ish.(Sorry I forgot the wordi was going to put) 3) if you can temporarly disconnect your phone when it's around the time he calls you and after then he'll notice that your phone's been disconnected and maybe stop for some time. Those are some ideas if you need more I can put more.
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Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 4:37 pm
An emotionally abusive boyfriend that is calling you four years later despite you asking him not to is called a stalker. It is the kind of matter that can be brought to the police. If somehow mechanically blocking his number is not an option, you might consider doing that and looking into getting a restraining order.
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Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 4:40 pm
woah. what a stalker...
I'm srry i don't have any advise for you... if he was closer maybe you could call the police, other then that I have no clue... sad Sorry.
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M e h P u s s N B o o t s
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Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 5:05 pm
Get a restraining order on his a**!
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Posted: Wed Mar 31, 2010 12:53 am
Call the police.
Explain to your mother that it is problematic, but you are being stalked and your emotional state is suffering as a consequence. She needs to change the number for your mental health and possible safety. (A middle school boyfriend who calls four years later? Bizarre and possibly dangerous.)
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Posted: Wed Mar 31, 2010 6:03 pm
Instead of outright calling the police, call HIM and threaten to call the police if he doesn't stop calling you. If it doesn't seem to work, call the police.
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Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 8:03 pm
What he is doing is considered stalking. I would agree about calling the police, but you said he is "an ocean away" so I don't know what the local police could do for you about international affairs, you know?
I think it's wrong/selfish of your mother to blow you off and placate you that a new number would be problematic for HER.
Or, see if you can call your phone provider and ask them if they can block international calls or something. But I still think your mom needs to suck it up and get a new number for her daughter's sake. (Sorry if I may offend you by saying that about your mom, but I just can't stand when a parent puts their own convenience above the responsibilities to their children...)
I suggest putting any myspace/facebook type things to 'private' too.
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