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 Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 7:56 pm
Haha... I think I might forget about this journal eventually.
All thats going here is my thoughts... and anyone who feels free to say something about it whee
So I'm gonna quit my avoiding/silent treatment on my boyfriend tomorrow.. see how that goes. ... I should throw our conversations in here!
So I got pissed off at my boyfriend for a reason I don't quite remember, but the space made me feel so much better.
Only issues with him is that he won't tell his parents about me, and we never do anything, I haven't even hugged him since the month we started dating (febuary, if i may include). I don't feel hug-deficient anymore (I love friends). And I REALLY can't stand his friend since his sexuality is questionable and a couple too many *not-gay* moments around my bf (okay.. i admit it i'm the jealous -type).
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Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 7:59 pm
I could have just been tired, I've been tired all week since I went to see Hedley live. So maybe I'm going all crazy from lack of sleep....
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 9:20 am
Sigh...its hard to keep in a relationship when his friend, ex-friend, and my family encourage me to break up with him, and even now I question my feelings.
emo
I mean, I'm aware my bf is self-absorbed like every other guy, but its hard...
I liked him for 5 years, on and off, but never less than friends.. and now I feel like I could hate him...
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Posted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 8:46 am
So then I realize late into last night, not caring is the best solution. He doesn't care, so I shouldn't either, our relationship is practically not there (and keeping it secret ...), so I'm gonna act like I'm single.
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Posted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 10:55 am
Sigh...my mom is so annoying to shop with, because we're like night and day. >.<
Thank God its only the internet shopping right now.
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Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 10:33 pm
I am lucky to have a real friend, most of them fake!!! ...Im so lucky!..Nah Im tired even though its only afternoon. I want to go to the beach...hahahahha
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Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 1:01 pm
I love having more than one clique to go to.
I hate homework..
You know you're messed when you love and hate someone.
I grow to continue realization with my boyfriend, we're opposites on many many scales...
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Posted: Sat Apr 24, 2010 11:25 am
I hate chemistry homework.
I feel stupid for not realizing its "nothing serious" between me and my bf, as if I forgot!!
But now I feel better.
But I do not understand why he has to be so... overly into the very few things that are Canadian, I mean goddamn, our country is good and all but honestly... we're just stuck doing whatever the United States does, and hes just being stupid really, damning the country right below us that we're sticking to no matter what.
But the book he's reading is downright ******** up, I refuse to read it, we're too different... >.<
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Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 1:16 pm
The best feeling: being done with homework
and rewarding myself for it
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Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 1:43 pm
It sounds to me like you need a new boyfriend 3nodding If you don't have that "i'm loved and feel special" feeling when your with someone and you don't think you love them anymore then why be with them? Also if they don't care about you enough to tell other people that your together is it something you really want to be in in the first place? I mean people are usually in relationships with the goal of one day getting married and having children. Can you see yourself with this person for the rest of your life (eventually)?
I wish you the best of luck on the choice that you end up making. If you get rid of him now though it might solve more problems down the road and make you happier in the long run.
Good luck,
MoMo
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Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 1:27 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 1:31 pm
I might just be PMSing.
I thought back on the 2 poems I got from him, and got reminded he doesn't know what hes doing... its not like he doesn't have feelings hes just not expressive alot.
Sigh... I remember when on msn (before when he didn't love his blackberry and didn't have internet >.<) his personal msgs were dedicated to me (no seriously it was evident.. hinting at me)
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Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 5:57 pm
Built myself so high off the pain
So high I'm too good for you
Yet you're the only one
Who can truly destroy me
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Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 6:00 pm
I refuse to waste another tear
I've cried enough
For what finally came
And it wasn't what it seemed
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Posted: Fri May 07, 2010 10:14 pm
Sigh...my parents are having big-time issues with my bf not telling his parents about me. He made up another stupid excuse, have people who grew up with him who can testify to that. It truly pains me because he has no idea how much I will tolerate for him.
Sigh...I met him 5 years ago... being a 6th grader and him an 8th grader, we had so much fun at recess with a few other ppl. When he went to highschool, I missed him like crazy. To the point I was crying at night, and acted out enough that my dad thought I had to see a psychiatrist. I told my mom about it, thank God she doesn't remember now, but I got out of wasted money and shrink visits. He has no idea how much I missed him...I was so obsessed.
So now I'm debating whether or not I should tell him how vulnerable I am deep down...how much I really love him..
Am I a freak?
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