Dating MUCH Older Guys

[Jenitorturer]

I'm 18 and I'm currently seeing a guy who's about twice my age. He's 3x years old.

I've known him for a little over a year and we've recently begun getting close to each other: flirting/ discussing our relationship status / where we see ourselves together in the future.

I really love him. He's an extremely sweet, nurturing guy and we've established a relationship in which he is my Daddy Dom.

For those of you unfamiliar with this, check out the Daddy Dom relationships thread.

We have A LOT in common. We like the same type of music, similar fashion sense, similar relationship experiences, very similar kinks, we both, of course, love sex, and I just can't get my mind off of him !

He's very attractive, too !

So all that aside, here's the problem.

My parents don't approve.

I KNOW. I KNOW.

I'm 18 and I'm an adult and everything.. but my parents' decisions and viewpoints matter to me, too, because they're the ones who gave birth to me. (Well, my mom, technically.)

My parents dislike the fact that this guy is twice my age.. almost the same age as them. They think that he's with me only because he's in it for the sex and that he'll break my heart later on when he gets tired of me.

My friends don't really approve of him either, and they keep telling me to find a guy around my age.

Thing is, I HAVE found a guy my age who I've dated for 6 months. He's was very abusive and ruthless and disrespectful of me and he's hurt me a heck of a lot. I've been with a few guys my age who I've seen the same abusive pattern in.

The boys I know around my age are immature and naiive and just plain bad for me.

The guy I'm with now is a REAL man. He's basically the man of my dreams.. in the flesh and I intend to spend the rest of my life with him. He's seeking the same things as me and he knows how to treat me right.

But nobody else but me seems to see him as a good person.
Everyone's too busy being outraged by the significant age difference, that they can't see him for who he is inside.

I don't know what to do.. I feel really helpless. I love this guy to death and I don't want to lose him. I've never felt so connected to anyone the same way I am with him.

How should I approach this situation?

And what are your thoughts on significant age differences/ age dynamics? Like 18 y/o girl + 3x man in my case?  

[NocturnalPoemIX]

If you're happy, that's all that should matter. Age is just a number. :]  

[Jenitorturer]

That's exactly what I'm trying so desperately to prove to everyone.

I just want people to respect our relationship and HIM.

But they're always pushing his great personality and qualities aside and they're just so hostile when it comes to his age. :/  

[The_Megal]

Personally I'm not a fan of dating men much older than me, but if you're happy with him I certainly don't see anything wrong with it.  

[NocturnalPoemIX]

You need to tell your friends to deal with it. If they're not happy that you're happy, then they really aren't good friends. ):
A good friend is someone who will stick by you, no matter what.  

[Moxcella]

I think everyone thinks its wrong because of all the past experiances. Meaning an older guy will make a younger feel like shes special and she believes him and then the old guy rapes the young girl. Its happened so many times before.
Personally,I don't really agree with the whole older guys or older girls dating younger girls or younger guys.
But if you really KNOW that this guy is safe and won't hurt you,then I wish you both the happiest c:

I'd just like to add that maybe you like older guys because they treat you better..Hon,it takes a while to find an honestly good guy thats your age but you just gotta give it some time.

 

[Jenitorturer]

I'm more than happy when I'm with him.
Everytime I'm with him, I feel like I'm on top of the world.

Not a lot of people understand my relationship with him.

I think he deserves more respect than what he's getting, which is barely anything from my friends and family.

I do have a select few who stand by me in my decision to be with him, including some who know him and are mutual friends with both him and me.

I think I'm old enough to figure out who's good for me and who isn't.

If nobody around me can accept that I love this man and that I plan on marrying him, then, they'l simply have to deal.  

[Moxcella]

How long have ya'll known each other? [ just curious ] c:

 

[Jenitorturer]

TenshiMystic57

I think everyone thinks its wrong because of all the past experiances. Meaning an older guy will make a younger feel like shes special and she believes him and then the old guy rapes the young girl. Its happened so many times before.
Personally,I don't really agree with the whole older guys or older girls dating younger girls or younger guys.
But if you really KNOW that this guy is safe and won't hurt you,then I wish you both the happiest c:

I'd just like to add that maybe you like older guys because they treat you better..Hon,it takes a while to find an honestly good guy thats your age but you just gotta give it some time.

Well, I know this guy well enough to trust him. But I know what you mean.

My parents have similar concerns because I've been hurt a lot by guys in the past, so they're only looking out for me. My friends too, although they're mainly concerned about the huge age gap.

There's really only one way to find out. So far, things have been going pretty smoothly.

Yeah. To be honest, I like much older guys because it's a thrilling experience for me, they treat me a lot better, they have more experience, they know what they're doing, and I don't know.. just.. the whole Daddy/daughter concept is something I'm really into. It's like a taboo and breaking barriers. Hard to describe.  

[Jenitorturer]

We've known each other for almost a year.

But I recently got to really know him a few days ago.  

[Moxcella]

Wow that's a long while,you guys most really love each other lol
I can understand why your friends and parents are concerned but if they really got to know him like you did then maybe they'd understand a bit better and not be so crticial against you guys
c:

 

[Jenitorturer]

TenshiMystic57

Wow that's a long while,you guys most really love each other lol
I can understand why your friends and parents are concerned but if they really got to know him like you did then maybe they'd understand a bit better and not be so crticial against you guys
c:

Yup. He's a really great guy and I can't emphasize that enough ! I really want everyone to give him a chance because they're seriously missing out on the amazing things I see in him.

But I guess I can only give them time. They'll all come around eventually.  

[Angel Nicholson]

The human heart feels things the eyes cannot see...



Honestly, I'd never approve of an age gap that big no matter what you mean to each other, and I can see exactly why your parents don't approve. I mean, he could suddenly turn around and do the same thing that those boys your age did to you. Age doesn't mean a thing when it comes to that. And he's probably at the age where he wants a family and quite frankly, you're too young for that (18 is really young to be having babies!)
Anyway, nothing I say can or will stop you, but if I were you, I'd think this over thoroughly. I mean, he's 20 years older than you? He's almost as old as your parents. For all you know, he could have a kid older than you (there's a lot of cases where guys don't know about their kids D: )

Just because he's older doesn't mean he'll treat you better and the older guys are the ones who are more likely to treat you like a queen before becoming abusive or even raping you.

I'm sure he's a nice guy, but I really don't like the situation. Maybe I'm just being a mommy about this (I was a second mom to my siblings...literally, my mother and I refer to them as "our" kids) but I really don't approve.

But like I said up there, there's nothing I can do about it. Just remember that age doesn't mean anything, whether it's about love, or the guy's maturity and "abusive" levels.
Just because he's older, doesn't mean he's going to treat you better. In fact, it wasn't until I was with a younger guy that I was treated better and out of the abusive relationships.

Anyways, I'm just rambling now, but please don't take what I said into offence, I don't mean it like that. I just worry for people who are with someone that much older.

Cinderella stories don't always have a happy ending. You really need to take care of yourself in this situation. Make sure you know where to draw your lines and everything should be okay.


...and knows what the mind cannot understand.

 

[Angel Nicholson]

The human heart feels things the eyes cannot see...



(just adding to my last post)

I just want you to be happy, but you need to think this over carefully and make sure he knows your boundries. You don't want to get stuck in something with this guy. I mean, like I said before, anything can go wrong and I worry about girls in situations like this.


...and knows what the mind cannot understand.

 

[Jenitorturer]

Angel Nicholson

The human heart feels things the eyes cannot see...



Honestly, I'd never approve of an age gap that big no matter what you mean to each other, and I can see exactly why your parents don't approve. I mean, he could suddenly turn around and do the same thing that those boys your age did to you. Age doesn't mean a thing when it comes to that. And he's probably at the age where he wants a family and quite frankly, you're too young for that (18 is really young to be having babies!)
Anyway, nothing I say can or will stop you, but if I were you, I'd think this over thoroughly. I mean, he's 20 years older than you? He's almost as old as your parents. For all you know, he could have a kid older than you (there's a lot of cases where guys don't know about their kids D: )

Just because he's older doesn't mean he'll treat you better and the older guys are the ones who are more likely to treat you like a queen before becoming abusive or even raping you.

I'm sure he's a nice guy, but I really don't like the situation. Maybe I'm just being a mommy about this (I was a second mom to my siblings...literally, my mother and I refer to them as "our" kids) but I really don't approve.

But like I said up there, there's nothing I can do about it. Just remember that age doesn't mean anything, whether it's about love, or the guy's maturity and "abusive" levels.
Just because he's older, doesn't mean he's going to treat you better. In fact, it wasn't until I was with a younger guy that I was treated better and out of the abusive relationships.

Anyways, I'm just rambling now, but please don't take what I said into offence, I don't mean it like that. I just worry for people who are with someone that much older.

Cinderella stories don't always have a happy ending. You really need to take care of yourself in this situation. Make sure you know where to draw your lines and everything should be okay.


...and knows what the mind cannot understand.

Yeah. There is always that possibility, since life and people are unpredictable.

The most I know is that he has a 14 year old daughter, kids-wise.

Oh, I'm not offended. I understand where you're coming from.
3nodding

I guess I SHOULD be careful and ready no matter how sweet he is, because that can always change.

Thanks for your advice.

It's common sense, I know, but sometimes, I guess I just need someone to remind me.