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 Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 12:35 pm
So my boyfriend and I are long distance and we text and call a lot.
I had to get up early to babysit one day, so I left for bed early. Since him and I usually stay up till about 1-3 every night, my leaving at 11 kinda messed him up. He was bored and so he went to Gaia where he met a girl whom he started talking to and became friends with. He cheated on me 2x before with a different girl when we started dating so this made me super worried. He assured me multiple times that he was doing nothing with her, and that she was a strict lesbian. He said
"Can you trust me, honey? Can you trust me? Can you say you do?"
and I just could not say yes. I wanted to, and I can usually lie to ANYONE about ANYTHING, but I just could not tell him that I totally trusted him. He started to cry and plead, his early problem was something he's clearly not proud of. He said
"Hon, can't you see I've changed? I'm not the same person, I've changed. Please trust me again. Please."
He knows I have a very serious issue trusting people, I don't even 100% trust my best friend of 5 years. I'm sure this absolutely broke him to know his girl didn't trust him. I told him I'd make an effort for him to trust him around other females again. Your input?
He has this habit of one word texts. I hate it since it's hard to have a conversation with 'ah, yup, mhm, lol, nuzzles, kisses, hugs, love you, ayi yi yi'.
So the same day we were having a rather romantic texting moment. You know, the "-holds him close to me, nuzzling the base of his neck softly in happiness-" type. Then he texts 'nuzzles'. My brain practically exploded. We'd been having a great couple moment then he says 'nuzzles'. Hoping that it'd just be that, I text-kissed him and his responce was 'mmm'. So I stopped and text-smiled and he said 'what'. What. Woahwoahwoah backtrack much? I forgot that he had an accident as a child that messed his wrists up so any repetitive movement like texting makes 'em hurt a bitchfit. Basically I kinda threw a small fit since this actually happens a lot sweatdrop (the romance romance romance one word txt). Input?
Yeah, that's what I was thinking about. He's really sweet and I do love him so no 'brak up wth hm' suggestions.
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Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 12:45 pm
"Call and talk to him. Bring up the 'one word conversations' and the trust issue, then see if you two can talk them out for the better."
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Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 12:51 pm
We did talk about it a bit when they came up, its kinda how our relationship functions. Turns out the lady lesbian was actually a male actor trying to get men to hit on him. As far as the one words go he said he'd try harder to avoid them.
Our most recent conversation?
Him: A lot of stuff
Me: Ahhh
Him: Yeah
Me: Mhm
Him: Hm
Me: Ah
Him: Yeah
point made.
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Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 8:52 pm
Well, you need a reason TO trust him. It's his duty to find a way to prove that you can trust him. It's not just something that can automatically come back.
And he should be able to accept that his choices have consequences.
As for the one word replies, I always just tell my man, "Well it seems your busy, since you're not typing much. TTYL" And they'll normally straighten right back out.
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Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 11:41 pm
 Well I think that you should make it clear to him that you aren't able to fully trust him and WHY. Also let him know that you are trying to trust him again. As for the one word texts, I dunno. A lot of people do that... i don't think it's a bad thing...
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