1. Jump on someone's cart and scream: "Push me!!"
2. Bring your dog into WalMart and play fetch
3. Grab a Dora doll, and sing the theme song at the top of your lungs while skipping around the entire store. When a manager tells you stop, say "Swipper no swipping!" and continue to sing.
4. Annoy anyone who comes through the doors.
5. Walk up to a worker whose shoes are untied and point it out. Walk past them as if to leave, but turn around and kick them in butt, making them all on their face. Make a run for it!
6. Flip off the manager.
7. Go to the toy section of the store and find one of the pokeballs. Throw it at someone, and scream out: "PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!!"
8. Hide in the clothes racks, and when someone reaches for something, jump out and scream: "RAPE!!"
9. Pretend you have Tourette Syndrome and Yell curse words at everyone who walks by while acting as if you're having a seizure.
10. Grab the frilliest, biggest, most revealing bra you can find, and ask someone: "Think he'll enjoy it?" or "Like it?"
11. Smear ketchup on your face and neck and lie in the middle of the floor, in a weird position, pretending you're dead.
12. Get in a cart, having your friend push you, and yell: "FASTER!!"
13. Walk up to somebody, eyes wide, and say: "Oh, my God!! Is that YOU!?" look around frantically and then turn back to the person, making sure people were watching you. "It is!" Kiss the person, the slap the crap outa them. "Why didnt you call!?"
14. On the intercom, sing extremely badly, your voice cracking and having to take deep annoying breaths.
15. When you see someone pick up a box of food, or something that can be eaten, say: "That's contaminated." When they reach for a different box keep repeating it until they decide to ignore you and put in their basket anyways, scream, "CONTAMINATION!!!"
16. Set up a bunch of action figures into two teams across from each other as if to have a battle, and then make them fight.
17. Go to McDonald's and ask for some ketchup packets. Then, go into the bathrooms and put them under the seat so when someone sits on them, the packets explode everywhere.
18. Sneak some chocolate syrup (or peanut-butter) into the bathroom with you. Make sure you go into a stall where there is someone next to it. Put the chocolate syrup (or peanut-butter) onto a piece of toilet paper. Slyly slide it under the stall where the other person is and say, "Oops, sorry that's mine. Can you hand that to me?"
19. If you're a girl, go up to a male employee and cross your legs. Ask him where the tampons are in a straining, frustrated voice.
20. Fill your cart with as many boxes of condoms as there are available. Go to the checkout line (best with more people in the line) and watch the facial expressions as you attempt to buy them.
21. Throw boxes of condoms into random peoples' carts. (It's funnier with old people.)
22. Go to the clothing section and pose as a mannequin. Wait awhile. After someone passes (make sure they're somewhat close to you), move and say, "Oh, my shift's over."
23. Play bumper carts.
24. Have you and your friends take alot of packages of eggs. Spread around the store. Search for each other while still trying to hide. If you see one of your friends, throw an egg at them. (It's best if it's one-on-one rather than teams.)
25. Walk around casually for awhile. When you get to an aisle with alot of people, drop to the ground and pretend to have a seizure.
26. Put plastic wrap under the toilet seats in the bathrooms so that whoever goes in there to go, the plastic wrap will catch everything.
27. When the intercom comes on, drop to the floor with your hands over your ears and scream as loud as you can, "IT'S THE VOICES!!! THE VOICES!!!!!"
28. Order alot of things at the deli. When the person goes to cut the meat/cheese, run and don't come back.
29. Dump lots of water in random parts of the store (with linoleum tiles).
30. Drop random items/food into peoples' carts.
31. Take a bike for a test drive around the whole store.
32. Guard an aisle so no one can get into it, saying it's yours and yours only.
33. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.
34. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
35. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals
throughout the day.
36. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.
37. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
38. Play Star Wars with your friends with tubes of gift wrap.
39. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
40. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I
think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what
happens.
41. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store
as your playing field.
42. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look
mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”
43. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll
only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
44. Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from
the other aisles.
45. TP as much of the store as possible.
46. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
47. Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” (01134) upside down. Also, "boobies" (531800 cool is good, too.
48. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
“Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”
49. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
“Mission: Impossible.”
50. Make a trail of orange juice or lemonade or Gatorade on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
51. Try putting different pairs of womens' panties on your
head and walk around the store casually.
52. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the
mannequins.
53. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly
ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act
as spastic as possible.
54. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse
through, say things like “the fat man walks alone,” and scare
them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
55. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people
out.
56. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and
begin stroking it lovingly, saying “Good girl, good Bessie.”
57. In the food aisle, pretend like there’s a little bug, slowly
move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left
as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the
ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like
crazy. Then finally yell out “Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that was
the biggest Cockrouch I’ve ever seen, i think it was pregnant!!!
Hey look, there’s another one!!!” Then Repeat.
58. Repeat 57 with a can of bug spray.
59. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat.
Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.
60. Excessively use anything thing that says “Try Me”.
61. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people
asking where the rash cream is because your family and all
your friends seem to have a rash, too.
62. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the
store.
63. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger,
your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while
singing the circus song.
64. Put super sexy lingerie in old men’s carts when they turn
around.
65. Spend several minutes staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don’t look away, just stay mesmerized.
66. Walk up to a lady and calmly say “Help me. The voices in
my head are telling me to do naughty things.” Then clap your
hands over your ears, fly yell head around and start screaming
“NO!!! I DON’T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY NO
NO NO NO!!!!” Then suddenly stop, look her straight in the
eyes, and Calmly say “I…will start…a fire…” The pull out a
lighter and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don’t
light the lighter, just hold it closed.
67. Walk up to a guy and say “Oh my god, is it you? Oh my
god it is!!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!!!” Then kiss him.
Then slap and him say “Why didn’t you ever call me??” Then
walk away. Much more affective if you’re a guy.
...as a bonus, try attempting all of these in one visit.
If you have anymore to add, put them in your reply. Make sure you follow the numbers.
2. Bring your dog into WalMart and play fetch
3. Grab a Dora doll, and sing the theme song at the top of your lungs while skipping around the entire store. When a manager tells you stop, say "Swipper no swipping!" and continue to sing.
4. Annoy anyone who comes through the doors.
5. Walk up to a worker whose shoes are untied and point it out. Walk past them as if to leave, but turn around and kick them in butt, making them all on their face. Make a run for it!
6. Flip off the manager.
7. Go to the toy section of the store and find one of the pokeballs. Throw it at someone, and scream out: "PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!!"
8. Hide in the clothes racks, and when someone reaches for something, jump out and scream: "RAPE!!"
9. Pretend you have Tourette Syndrome and Yell curse words at everyone who walks by while acting as if you're having a seizure.
10. Grab the frilliest, biggest, most revealing bra you can find, and ask someone: "Think he'll enjoy it?" or "Like it?"
11. Smear ketchup on your face and neck and lie in the middle of the floor, in a weird position, pretending you're dead.
12. Get in a cart, having your friend push you, and yell: "FASTER!!"
13. Walk up to somebody, eyes wide, and say: "Oh, my God!! Is that YOU!?" look around frantically and then turn back to the person, making sure people were watching you. "It is!" Kiss the person, the slap the crap outa them. "Why didnt you call!?"
14. On the intercom, sing extremely badly, your voice cracking and having to take deep annoying breaths.
15. When you see someone pick up a box of food, or something that can be eaten, say: "That's contaminated." When they reach for a different box keep repeating it until they decide to ignore you and put in their basket anyways, scream, "CONTAMINATION!!!"
16. Set up a bunch of action figures into two teams across from each other as if to have a battle, and then make them fight.
17. Go to McDonald's and ask for some ketchup packets. Then, go into the bathrooms and put them under the seat so when someone sits on them, the packets explode everywhere.
18. Sneak some chocolate syrup (or peanut-butter) into the bathroom with you. Make sure you go into a stall where there is someone next to it. Put the chocolate syrup (or peanut-butter) onto a piece of toilet paper. Slyly slide it under the stall where the other person is and say, "Oops, sorry that's mine. Can you hand that to me?"
19. If you're a girl, go up to a male employee and cross your legs. Ask him where the tampons are in a straining, frustrated voice.
20. Fill your cart with as many boxes of condoms as there are available. Go to the checkout line (best with more people in the line) and watch the facial expressions as you attempt to buy them.
21. Throw boxes of condoms into random peoples' carts. (It's funnier with old people.)
22. Go to the clothing section and pose as a mannequin. Wait awhile. After someone passes (make sure they're somewhat close to you), move and say, "Oh, my shift's over."
23. Play bumper carts.
24. Have you and your friends take alot of packages of eggs. Spread around the store. Search for each other while still trying to hide. If you see one of your friends, throw an egg at them. (It's best if it's one-on-one rather than teams.)
25. Walk around casually for awhile. When you get to an aisle with alot of people, drop to the ground and pretend to have a seizure.
26. Put plastic wrap under the toilet seats in the bathrooms so that whoever goes in there to go, the plastic wrap will catch everything.
27. When the intercom comes on, drop to the floor with your hands over your ears and scream as loud as you can, "IT'S THE VOICES!!! THE VOICES!!!!!"
28. Order alot of things at the deli. When the person goes to cut the meat/cheese, run and don't come back.
29. Dump lots of water in random parts of the store (with linoleum tiles).
30. Drop random items/food into peoples' carts.
31. Take a bike for a test drive around the whole store.
32. Guard an aisle so no one can get into it, saying it's yours and yours only.
33. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.
34. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
35. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals
throughout the day.
36. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.
37. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
38. Play Star Wars with your friends with tubes of gift wrap.
39. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
40. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I
think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what
happens.
41. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store
as your playing field.
42. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look
mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”
43. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll
only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
44. Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from
the other aisles.
45. TP as much of the store as possible.
46. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
47. Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” (01134) upside down. Also, "boobies" (531800 cool is good, too.
48. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
“Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”
49. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
“Mission: Impossible.”
50. Make a trail of orange juice or lemonade or Gatorade on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
51. Try putting different pairs of womens' panties on your
head and walk around the store casually.
52. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the
mannequins.
53. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly
ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act
as spastic as possible.
54. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse
through, say things like “the fat man walks alone,” and scare
them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
55. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people
out.
56. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and
begin stroking it lovingly, saying “Good girl, good Bessie.”
57. In the food aisle, pretend like there’s a little bug, slowly
move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left
as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the
ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like
crazy. Then finally yell out “Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that was
the biggest Cockrouch I’ve ever seen, i think it was pregnant!!!
Hey look, there’s another one!!!” Then Repeat.
58. Repeat 57 with a can of bug spray.
59. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat.
Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.
60. Excessively use anything thing that says “Try Me”.
61. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people
asking where the rash cream is because your family and all
your friends seem to have a rash, too.
62. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the
store.
63. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger,
your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while
singing the circus song.
64. Put super sexy lingerie in old men’s carts when they turn
around.
65. Spend several minutes staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don’t look away, just stay mesmerized.
66. Walk up to a lady and calmly say “Help me. The voices in
my head are telling me to do naughty things.” Then clap your
hands over your ears, fly yell head around and start screaming
“NO!!! I DON’T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY NO
NO NO NO!!!!” Then suddenly stop, look her straight in the
eyes, and Calmly say “I…will start…a fire…” The pull out a
lighter and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don’t
light the lighter, just hold it closed.
67. Walk up to a guy and say “Oh my god, is it you? Oh my
god it is!!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!!!” Then kiss him.
Then slap and him say “Why didn’t you ever call me??” Then
walk away. Much more affective if you’re a guy.
...as a bonus, try attempting all of these in one visit.
If you have anymore to add, put them in your reply. Make sure you follow the numbers.
