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Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 9:09 pm
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Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 11:52 pm
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My friends have had trouble with relationships, where they're girlfriends have treated them like women, and they had to end it. You need to tell her before entering a relationship, because otherwise it'll be worse, and this way, you can tell, and she will hopefully be okay with it, and you can see what she's like around you. Tell her "I'm biologically female, but I have always been male, and I want you to know, because I really like you, and I don't want you to see me differently, or feel like I'm a woman, I'm still a guy." or something along those lines.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knr0mWANcdI AYDENandKYLIE is a youtube channel following the pride project, and The lives, and various issues in Ayden (trans FtM) and Kylies (a Lesbian) Life. In that particular video Kylie explains how she felt when Ayden told her he felt like a man, and wanted to live that way. It's a slightly different situation, but some of the things she says are very comforting smile Good luck, and perhaps post and tell me how it went wink
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Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 4:40 pm
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Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:15 pm
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Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:23 pm
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Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:24 pm
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Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 6:45 pm
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NowAki9000 godoftherain Yami, I agree with the idea that you should tell her. However, NowAki9000 is not lying when he says he is male. The idea that he would lie implies that he is not a "real" man, which, in fact, he is. That being said, as a a male with some physical obstacles, I think the earlier you get it out of the way the better. That way both you and her are on the same page, and you have no unpleasant surprises or maybe reactions. Best of luck. heart Thank you and I'm sorry I didn't say this earlier but I already told her. She was fine with it but I think she just sees me as a crossdressing female rather then a transman. I'll deal with that later. I know it's hard to set up a relationship so early in the transition.
And thank you for saying I'm not lying about my sex. Even if I feel I lie every day I put on a bra. Right now it's just easier to live as a female but I'm slowly having people use male pronouns.
It can be difficult to get people on board when you're really early in your transition. I think people expect to call your bluff, you know?
My concern would be that if she doesn't take you seriously now, would she ever? Is it your job to cajole her into accepting you?
I'm not sure how committed you are to the relationship, but it is something to think about maybe.
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Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 6:51 pm
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Posted: Sat Feb 26, 2011 7:12 pm
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NowAki9000 godoftherain It can be difficult to get people on board when you're really early in your transition. I think people expect to call your bluff, you know? My concern would be that if she doesn't take you seriously now, would she ever? Is it your job to cajole her into accepting you? I'm not sure how committed you are to the relationship, but it is something to think about maybe. So far it's not a committed relationship since we met online and live in different states. Basically a long distance semi-open relationship, but a relationship nonetheless.
She really is my first girlfriend or boyfriend and I don't want to scare her away to quickly or have her start treating me like a girl just because I look like one. She accepts no problem but I think the main thing is getting her to understand and not fall in love with a couple parts of my body that I hate.
I think I've seen you around the guild so you must know more about this then me. What does "calling your bluff' mean?
Right. By "calling your bluff", I worry that she doesn't think you're as serious as you are about transitioning. "Calling a bluff" usually means holding firm while the other person backs out of something they never really, fully intended to do.
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Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 2:02 pm
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 11:19 pm
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