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Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 12:30 pm
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Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 2:22 pm
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Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 6:31 pm
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I think sexuality, especially for the bisexual part of the community, is somewhat fluid. I feel that a person can prefer one gender over the other and then switch, but still feel that they are neither straight nor fully homosexual. Bisexuality can arise from the questioning, or a person can affirm they are straight or gay. I don't believe that a person should have to carry a label like sexuality to the grave, no matter that it's a serious and important part of life.
And, more often than not, the only way to find out where you stand is to date. Yes, breakups are painful, but a person will find out more about themselves and what they want in a relationship regardless of a breakup or not. Part of having good relationships is having some sense of selflessness in the event that it does go downhill, and even if it doesn't that still needs to be there.
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Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:31 pm
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I can understand Vulcan's frustrations; been there myself. I think really, though, the thing is is that if you're looking for a serious realtionship, maybe ther person who isn't questoning should be a little more apt to steer clear of the Q's.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that individuals who are sure of their sexuality shouldn't get involved with Q's, I'm just saying that you can't blame it entirely on the Q's and leave the gay / lesbian / bi / and perhaps even trans that they were, for lack of a better term, exploring things with, as an innocent victim (now, that is also assuming that the LGBT knew that the other person was a Q).
And I do believe that some, or even perhaps most, Q people honestly aren't out to do injury to another person, they just need to get themselves figured out, and, as the others before me have said, the best way for most people to figure that out is by dating. It's one of life's rather irritating complexities, but not entirely any one person's fault (usually).
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Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 12:19 am
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Hm...well, thinking of it this way:
For a long while, i've been questioning in general the reason for so many people being so wrapped up in orientation. As a transgender male, the way I see it, is if everyone is so wrapped up in 'gay' 'straight' 'bi', then where does that leave me? I've been with men and women, yet my only sexual encounter was with a lesbian who was fully aware I am ftm and was one of the first to accept me as such. Perhaps 'Q' is not so horrid, once people stop thinking so far into the physical aspects of a relationship. I've heard several people positive they're attracted to one thing, only to fall madly in love with just the opposite. In my opinion, keep all options open, because in the end no matter how positive a person says they are, there will always be that chance of falling for someone they would never expect to. The human mind and body aren't so easily summed up.
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Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 10:09 am
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Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 11:47 am
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Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 8:35 pm
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I see nothing wrong with those in questioning dating those who are "REAL" queers, if anything it means that, even if one or the other is looking for a serious/long term relationship, they get a full understanding of what it's like to be in a same-sex relationship. But that alone is not the only outcome of dating the same-sex (no matter the actual sexual orientation), being in a relationship with someone provides both experience and understanding, not just to a concept/way of life but to a part of themselves that only they can come to define.
Though, I'm quite curious how someone's defined as a "REAL" queer. There are all sorts of mediums to being queer, and whether or not that it's how someone addresses themselves. Just because you may call someone a "full-blown-lesbian" (per say) doesn't mean that they, themselves, define themselves as a lesbian, for all we know, they could define themselves as a heterosexual. Maybe in denial, or maybe because they see same-sex in a similar way as a male and female relationship, or perhaps that's just what they want to call themselves (with or without shame to what a label would define them as).
Also, not everyone can figure out who they are at an "early age." Some don't/can't fully define themselves, or even begin to gain an understanding of who they are until later on in life, if not ever. I, myself, thought I was fully one way in high school till about 2-3 years old I came to more of an understanding of myself (orientation-wise). Even now, it's hard to define myself in a sexual orientation because of how I am, I find things to be a blur, but I like it that way cause it opens myself more. I was 13 when I defined myself (orientation-wise) as one label, I'm now 22 and I cannot still apply that same label to myself today just because of my own self-awareness, ageing, and experience. What I'm trying to get at is: no matter the age, we're always finding discoveries about ourselves. And those who question their orientation are finding out more of themselves if not more about who/what they're interested in. Hell, even what they want within this life.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 9:05 pm
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FauxZombie I see nothing wrong with those in questioning dating those who are "REAL" queers, if anything it means that, even if one or the other is looking for a serious/long term relationship, they get a full understanding of what it's like to be in a same-sex relationship. But that alone is not the only outcome of dating the same-sex (no matter the actual sexual orientation), being in a relationship with someone provides both experience and understanding, not just to a concept/way of life but to a part of themselves that only they can come to define. Though, I'm quite curious how someone's defined as a "REAL" queer. There are all sorts of mediums to being queer, and whether or not that it's how someone addresses themselves. Just because you may call someone a "full-blown-lesbian" (per say) doesn't mean that they, themselves, define themselves as a lesbian, for all we know, they could define themselves as a heterosexual. Maybe in denial, or maybe because they see same-sex in a similar way as a male and female relationship, or perhaps that's just what they want to call themselves (with or without shame to what a label would define them as). Also, not everyone can figure out who they are at an "early age." Some don't/can't fully define themselves, or even begin to gain an understanding of who they are until later on in life, if not ever. I, myself, thought I was fully one way in high school till about 2-3 years old I came to more of an understanding of myself (orientation-wise). Even now, it's hard to define myself in a sexual orientation because of how I am, I find things to be a blur, but I like it that way cause it opens myself more. I was 13 when I defined myself (orientation-wise) as one label, I'm now 22 and I cannot still apply that same label to myself today just because of my own self-awareness, ageing, and experience. What I'm trying to get at is: no matter the age, we're always finding discoveries about ourselves. And those who question their orientation are finding out more of themselves if not more about who/what they're interested in. Hell, even what they want within this life.
^ This lad said it all. Questioning does not mean that the person is using someone to find out about their orientation, it means that they have unexplored feelings and need a few life experiences to be able to understand themselves more fully.
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