Oh okay cliched English rose gets all toughened up by the wild outback of Australia. Racist undertones to set the context. Lots of CGI and pretty stuff.

Oh yes of course the unambiguously bad guy shows up. YEAH I HATE THAT b*****d, thanks film for making it so easy to hate him!

Oh the love interests are about to kiss. They're bound to get interrupted to create awkward sexual tension for the rest of the movi- WHAT THEY KISSED ALREADY. Wtf where is my sexual tension. FFFUUUU.

Ooh they're now doing the hardest part of the journey. Awesome.

Um wait we didn't get to see any of that. Huh. Oh well I guess it's a nice feel good ending after all. -about to turn off- Wait there's more?

Okay I guess there could be more. This is nice. It's almost like a sequel. It's like Red Dead Redemption and how there's more farm stuff afterwards. Looky they're in love awww.

Holy ******** how much more is there of this. WE GET IT. YOU CAN'T TIE DOWN DROVER EVEN WITH THE POWER OF LOVE.

Wait WWII just happened. What is this Michael Bay s**t.

Seriously this film could have ended an hour ago.

No really when will this film end.

OKAY COME ON YOU'RE ALL RESCUED LET IT END.

Oh ******** there's the bad guy. ******** hell just die so I can finish this film.

GOOD HE DIED. NOW FINISH THE GODDAMN FILM.

OH MY GOD NO I CANNOT TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS.

OKAY SAPPY EMOTIONAL END PLEASE BE THE ENDING.

Credits ******** YES.