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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:54 am
AMITYVILLE ACADEMY ENROLLMENT FORMName: Luidaeg (pronounced lou-sha-k) Nicknames: Shaki Gender: Male Age: 16 Faction: Demon Race: Sea Hag (based on the Sea Witch) Natural Ability:Sea hags are known for controlling the winds and the tides. However, being so young for his race, it is more like breezes and ripples for Shaki. He has better control over both if there is more water around, and can do the most if it is salt water. He can make a cool breeze on a hot day to cool off or a chilling puff of air on the back of someone's neck to scare them. He can spill drinks, or make ripples as if the liquid is picking up the vibrations of heavy footsteps. If it's salt water, he can make it rise up unnaturally a little ways, or even make scary faces. Personality:Trickster: Shaki doesn't have the power to create storms or anything truly terrifying yet, so he has learned to be more subtle. He loves that bemused look of "Wait, what?" on someone's face almost as much as he loves scaring. However, he never plans to cause any harm, and will be quite distressed and apologetic if he upsets his target. Also, when he is somewhere new he will often be on his best behavior until he gets a feel for things, especially if there are a lot of strong females in positions of power around. Effeminate: Being one of the very few male Sea Hags in his clan, Shaki is comfortable with his femininity and tends to act and even dress somewhat feminine, which can give people who don't know him the wrong idea where gender is concerned. He doesn't mind, and won't generally go out of his way to correct people who assume he is female, and will even use it to his advantage when playing tricks. Flirt: Guys are fascinating. The few other male Sea Hags were as effeminate as he, if not more so. An outsider probably couldn't tell the difference at all. So guys are a whole new experience for Shaki. He is fascinated by them, wants to learn what it means to be one of them (though he's not sure he'd want to do it full time), wants to be around them. And, just maybe, he's more than strictly platonically interested in them. Either way, he can come across as a terrible flirt, especially when he starts asking very personal questions, with no idea that the questioned party may be uncomfortable divulging such personal information. Protective: Shaki will only play harmless or silly tricks on most people, but his tricks can get quite unfriendly if angered. He tries not to cause serious harm, but if you've annoyed him he'll have no inhibitions about giving you a twisted ankle or spilling something that stains on your favorite outfit. He can also be quite protective of his friends, and anyone who hurts one of them will get a small taste of how vindictive an angry Sea Hag can be as they are plagued with odd misfortunes. Musical: Shaki loves to sing. With a little help from his wind manipulations, he can produce a truly haunting melody, though he can more often be heard singing rude drinking songs his clan learned from sailors! Studious: Wait, what? You'd never expect it, but Shaki is actually quite serious about his studies. He hopes to one day be allowed into the human world where he can play tricks on a captive human audience. One of his aunts mentioned a wondrous thing called a... cruise ship? Why are they enrolled in Amityville Academy?Shaki has accepted being the odd one out among his many female clanmates. He really has. But he needs to find some testosterone. Not to mention, his clan knows all his tricks; they taught him many of them! He needs some new victims friends. Mainly though, he really hopes to be allowed to some day go to the human world To that end, he must learn as much as he can about the humans and scaring them. FEAR Ability: (putting both here just so I remember what I wanted to do for Y2's) (Y1) Salting Wounds: Shaki has special glands under his nails that he can make excrete extremely salty water. The salt then gets in the wounds he makes, causing them to sting quite painfully for a while. (Tainted Fang school) (Y2) Siren's Song: Shaki has a great singing voice, and in battle it sometimes gets a little extra oomph that can make it very distracting. So distracting, his opponent may even forget to attack their next turn! (Headlights school) Physical Description:Aquatic. Think blues, silver, greens, seaweed, long hair, ragged clothes. Also, effeminate. Sea Hags are traditionally female. He's an odd one out, but he looks the part. He'd be pretty, if he weren't so creepy. Or if you had a thing for fish. Eye Colour: Shifting, usually dark blue with a hint of green. Hair Colour/Style: Damp, dark green seaweed with the odd bluish tentacle peeking out. Eyebrows are just a slightly darker blue than his skin. Skin Colour: Very pale blue, lips a bit darker. Clothing Style/Colours: Tattered, with bits of seaweed, fishnet, seashells, driftwood, sea glass, etc. tangled in it. Made mostly of items and bits of clothing one might find in a shipwreck. Extra: Webbing between his fingers and toes, but only about half way up. His toes are unusually long (think the flippers people wear for snorkeling). Sharp, claw-like nails on fingers and toes as well. His teeth are quite sharp, and come in rows like a shark. No dentist needed here! Other: Used in Four Clans Metaplot! Made a copper wire bracelet with a sapphire and a diamond that he wears on his right wrist now. References: Quest art and chibi quest art!
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 11:35 am
A post for extra stuff/my comments Ready for some outside input! Used him in the Four Clans Metaplot. He had tons of fun visiting! Well, until the end...
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:06 pm
Hello there! Some crit for you~ C: So! First of all, his faction - I see you put Demon, but given the mythological background I would say Reaper would be more appropriate for him! Reapers traditionally contain witches, sorcerers, etc. and as a faction, they have the strongest talent for magic. A Reaper Sea Witch with a particular affinity for storms is entirely possible! Here's a link to the Reaper guide, give it a look and see if you like it. smile Also as a Reaper he could have a weapon to focus his FEAR - maybe a rope to tie knots in, like in the legends! That would be very true to the mythological background, at least in my opinion. smile You don't have to do that, of course, but it could be an interesting route to explore! Personality: Looks good so far - I would encourage you to expand on what you have, to feel out his character a bit more, but the foundation is definitely present. If you haven't already, I'd recommend signing up for the current metaplot - quest students are totally invited, and it will give you more experience with his character plus be LOTS OF FUN. biggrin FEAR looks good, though note if you do make him a Reaper you'd need to change his Y1 FEAR - not the mechanics, just that it wouldn't be because of special glands. XD Appearance: And then I realize why you might have gone Demon, haha. XD His appearance does make a lot of sense given his background, but it would have to be toned down if you went Reaper.. well, the choice is ultimately yours! C:
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:45 pm
Thanks for the crit! He started out as more of a fae than a witch, he was going to be a Sea Hag. With the change to Sea Witch, Reaper might be a better choice. I do like the idea of a rope weapon for him, or maybe even a sea-themed familiar. But I also like his demonic appearance... I'll have to think about it.
I agree his personality needs some flesh on its bones, but I have such a hard time fleshing it out until I've played them. To which end I totally intend to enter him in the metaplot, that's what finally got me to actually make his quest thread. XD I'm just hoping to get a little basic crit before I submit him. So thanks again! <3
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:44 pm
I'm here to give you that crit~ :'D And I apologize right now for the wall of text I wrote. l'D;;;
Okay, so the first thing that stuck out to me a bit is the fact that he's twenty-three years old. Unless Sea Witches age differently or something, that might be too old for a First Year student, as they're mostly in their teenage years. Just thought I'd mention that. l'D;
I'm going to have to agree with Sosi here about the faction. XD; Since Witches are definitely in the catagory of Reaper, and having a Sea Witch being considered to be a demon might be a little odd. Mythologically (and name-wise XD; ), the Sea Witches seem like they would fit in the Reaper Faction, and just be, as Sosi suggested, a Sea Witch who has an aptitude for storm-type magic. (Since a Sea Witch just sounds like a Witch who specifically works with just the ocean, as opposed to a general Witch that works with any catagory.) And a rope type weapon could be really interesting (an endless rope) or even an aquatic familiar could be awesome! In any case, if you wanted to have him stay a demon, you might need to consider how well his species fits with the rest of the Faction? Since as of right now, it sort of seems as if the appearance is the only thing placing him in the Demon Faction.
Oh, also, I noticed you mentioned that his species are related to Sirens. There's actually a Siren Student (Monster Faction) here at the school, with a few of the traits that Shaki has. You might have to run species-relation stuff by Vamps if you're going to make them related to sirens, since you later mentioned Sirens again in his Description and that he's an odd one out among them, which implies that Sea Witches are somehow connected/related/a-form-of-siren or something to that extent. (Shaki seems like he'd either be in the Demon or Reaper catagory, and the shop's siren is a Monster, thus causing some Faction issues if Sea Witches are supposed to be related to Sirens. XD; ) Anyway, I just thought I'd mention that, in case you weren't aware of the siren's existence. ^^
The personality could use a little fleshing out, as you've mentioned. XD; I do have a few questions, which I hope will help you with the personality. Alrighty, question time:
- It seems he's either pranking someone/being a trickster, or very protective of friends, which leads me to wondering if there's an inbetween for people he's just met or doesn't have an opinion on yet. If he's always tricking people, why would they become his friends in the first place? Is he just neutral to someone until he decides their his friends, or what? (Aka Tri wants to know if he's friendly/what he'd do when when meeting new people, and things to that extent. Tell me how he acts when he's not protecting or pranking someone!)
- What happens when he pranks someone, only to find out that that particular person really doesn't enjoy being pranked, etc? Who does he trick? Everyone? Anyone? Just his friends? People he doesn't know? Elaborate on who he tricks, really.
- (I'll apologize now for if this question makes no sense. l'D;; ) How much has he been around others outside of his clan of Sea Witches? Like, would the school be his first big adventure out in society, or does his species interact often with others around Halloween? As such, would he have any idea about social customs and how they incorperate trickery? (Aka has he been around others of different species enough that he won't be surprised by so many different types of species at school? And things like that?)
Alright, so I think that's I've all I've got for now. All in all, you've got a good base, and now you'll just need to make some choices and then build on what you already have out. ^^ I'm sorry if I seemed nit-picky. l'D;;; Anyway, good luck and I look forward to seeing him played in the meta~
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 9:07 pm
Ok, saw this earlier, but actually had some time to respond now. XD
I was gonna have Sea Witches age slower than humans, but at the same time didn't want him to have century or anything under his belt. Decided it's easier to have them mature at the same rate initially, and then just not age as fast once they reach maturity, chanced age to reflect this.
I've decided that while I agree the Reaper faction does sound cool for him, the image I had really was more of a Demon so I'm going to stick with that for now. Going back to Sea Hag instead of Witch for now, may think of a better way to tweak that later. He was always meant to be more a fey-creature of the sea with an affinity for wind and water, rather than a true witch, that's just what humans called them. The one thing that may change my mind later is the rope-as-weapon, but for now sticking with Demon.
Taking out the mention of sirens all-together, just to simplify things and avoid stepping on anyone's toes. His singing can be related to his control of the wind instead, or I can do something else instead.
New people he will prank, but only pranks he expects will be harmless, it's like an icebreaker for him. If he were to unintentionally prank in a way that truly upset (like involving a phobia he was unaware of, or just they don't handle it well) someone he wasn't specifically trying to be mean to, he'd feel very guilty and try to make it up to them, or just apologize profusely. He's not constantly pranking though, Most of the time he's just a very outgoing guy. Maybe flirty too, that could be fun...
He has been around others very little. Guys are also a very new experience for him. I was actually planning to make him fascinated by males, since even the other males of his kind were, like him, fairly effeminate. He knows that many species exist, so the concept won't surprise him, but some of the particulars will. I'm debating giving him a tendency to ask very personal questions, especially of guys, as he tries to work out how to be more masculine. He'll have no concept of privacy when it comes to that sort of thing, as it is a very open topic among the Sea Hags, and won't realize when he's crossing a boundary.
Thanks so much for crits!
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Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 1:59 pm
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Posted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 9:59 pm
Dusting this quest off and ready for more input if anyone has some! <3
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