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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 4:19 pm
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Okay, I really need some help. I have a friend who I have known for a long time. I am gay and she is straight. A long time ago, I was confused about my sexual preferences and we had dated. I knew it didn't feel right, but I didn't want to break up with her and hurt her feelings.
Eventually she broke up with me and I was glad that we were friends again. Less than a year later, we went out again (I was still confused). We went out for about a 4 months or so and then started to drift apart because we were just starting high school and she had moved farther away. We still communicated sometimes and we were good friends again.
Around the start of our junior year of high school, she had started to act different. She had started to act like she used to when we actually dated. She would always say she loved me and sometimes ask when our next date would be, our last one being a few years before. By this time, I had figured myself out. Now she really believes we are dating, she posts on Facebook how much she loves me, she texts me every day, saying that she is glad that I am her boyfriend. Just a few months ago, she told me that she was "In love" with me.
Sorry for the big paragraphs and all, but now comes the part where I need help. I want her to realize that I am not in to her, or girls for that matter. If it would be that easy, I wouldn't be asking. She is homophobic. I want to keep our relationship friendly, but I am afraid that if I tell her, she wont be my friend. I mean, we have known each other for a long, long time. I love her like a sister. And what is worse is, she might be really furious that I kept this from her for so long. I pretty much got myself stuck in a pit.
Thank you for reading through that whole mess of sentences and I am sorry for it biggrin
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 4:39 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 5:28 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 6:15 pm
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I'm kind of a blunt person so my perspective might seem radical...
You NEED, as in HAVE, to tell her you're gay. It's not a matter of convincing to her you're not interested in her that way but rather an issue of character. If she's "like a sister" to you and she truly "loves you" then she won't be homophobic.
Sit her down and tell it to her "straight" (puns, heehehe).
In all honesty, what good is it being a friend with someone if you have to hide yourself? I mean, unless she's going to pull out a knife and stab you to death after you enlighten her on your orientation then I don't think there is much to worry about.
At very least, bring up the topic of homosexuality on neutral grounds, "test the waters" so to speak and actually see if she is a REAL homophobe. It's one thing for people to make homophobic remarks and another to actually be homophobic.
If she is actually homophobic then maybe you, being as close to her as you are, can persuade her to rethink her idea of what a homosexual actual is.
Really though, I absolutely 100% think that you should come out to her. It's less muddled this way, more simple as a means of removing yourself from the relationship and still retaining a friendship because who to say she wouldn't be equally upset with you if you just broke up with her?
Don't fear what could happen because all you're doing is making assumptions and psyching yourself out. You're expecting the worst and at very least you could hope for the best. I don't believe that she'll be mad about you keeping the secret from her because in many ways you kept your orientation a secret FOR her.
Whatever you do, have no regrets and go for it wholeheartedly.
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 6:36 pm
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 1:12 am
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The Bodacious Soul Reaper
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 12:10 pm
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 4:00 pm
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 8:04 pm
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 8:38 pm
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Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 10:48 am
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