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I haven't felt this depressed in a good long while. Not since my first heartbreak I'd even say. And I can't talk to my friend right now. My problems are stupid to them. I know the guild is pretty dead lately and chances are no one will respond to this. But at least I can vent a little.

As yall probably know. I'm 24 in, 9 days. And I still live at home. I've been in college for the better part of a decade, I have almost no money saved at all.

My schedule was pretty sweet, and I was feeling pretty good about life. I worked the store 4 days a week, 2 days off IN A ROW and the clinic on saturday. Then, like an idiot, I decided to try working at another clinic. I quit my saturday job, which was the people letting me use the underwater treadmill for free. I start at the new clinic tomorrow and my schedule is all kinds of ******** up. Every single week it's different and now instead of just saturdays, I do 3 days a week, always different days, which makes it incredibly hard for my boss at the store to work around. I now have, maybe 1 day off each week.

This is not what's really got me upset, I'm just painting a picture here.

I'd also like to state, that the $800 vet bill I just finished paying off, my parents had offered to pay, and I turned down their offer knowing there would be consequences of accepting their money, as they already act like they own me.

So I live at home, work two jobs, have not even the faintest social life. I pay for all the pets food, medical bills etc etc, that is my contribution to the house. All I have EVER asked of my parents, is that they stay out of my room. Yet every day my mother goes in my room, goes through my cupboard, takes my laundry, goes through my drawers when she puts it away. And when I ask her why she insists on making me miserable, why it is so impossible to honor my ONE wish. For the past 4-5yrs, every day, she says she's jusr "trying to help" after hundreds of screaming matches, of which I made her well aware how much it bothers me, she still claims she's just being helpful.

I tried ignoring it, bottling up the anger and just not saying anything. However yesterday I had what I imagine was a true mental breakdown. She'd come into my room, taken all the rat towels that were in bags in my cupboard, washed them, put them all away in my drawers, and gone through my bags and taken tuperwear out of my bags. I started to cry, and then I felt like this was not sufficient to release the anger and frustration that had built up. So I punched my wall, and fell to the ground in agony, and started laughing, at how STUPID this whole thing is. And when I saw my hand was bleeding, I just couldn't stop laughing.

I was so anxious to get out of the house this morning, I accidentaly got to work an hour early. Not that that in itself bothers me much, but I actually somehow convinced myself I start at 10 on sunday, and so I thought I didn't have time to walk Cowboy and now I feel really aweful, the one thing in life that gives me some sort of sanity and I completely skipped it today for NO REASON. I been sitting at the store alone for the past hour, feeling like the biggest ******** up in the world.

I'm sure if you actually read this, you also think it's incredibly stupid, and it is. But I just really think it is such a small request and the only thing I have ever asked for. She stays out of my brother's room because her fat a** is too lazy to go downstairs. But she is so controlling and OCD that for 5yrs, no matter how politely I ask, no matter how I beg, no matter that she knows how it drives me insane when she does it. She can't not stay out of my room. Even if she knocks and comess in to ask me something, she can't get one sentence out without picking stuff off my desk or trying to rearrange things in my room.

I can't stay in this house another minute, I feel like my choices are kill myself, or move out. And since I can't afford to move out right now, I dunno where that leaves me.

That's so sad, i also hope things get better for you. Just remember that no matter what, your mom loves you and i bet she really is trying to help. Ya know parents, always gettin' into your things. I learn to live with it. Anyways, good luck. Just breathe and be calm. Things are going to get better. wink biggrin heart sweatdrop whee confused

Gabby, You should pack up Cowboy and Rascal and come be my roommate down here in florida.


It sucks, I am going through a similar thing but with my grandmother. I'm sorry. emotion_hug

Obviously punching the wall doesn't do anyone any good, especially when it comes down to hurting yourself. Believe me, I know. I've dealt with extreme frustration several times, and a couple of times have kicked stationary items in the process. After breaking a couple of toes gonk I learned not to do that anymore.

Instead of the wall, take your frustrations out on a pillow or a punching bag. Put your anger to work for you, such as digging and/or weeding in the garden, or some other physically draining chore. Or better yet, bake some bread. Baking [yeast] bread from scratch is great for venting when you punch down the dough ... and the rewards of baking home-made bread are incredibly wonderful, especially when you put butter on that first slice that's still warm! heart

Sounds like you really need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with your mom ... and involve other family members too, if at all possible, for backing you up. You need to make her understand that you need to have your personal space. Tell her that you do not want her in your room, unless you've invited her in. Tell her you are not a kid anymore and can handle doing your own laundry, keeping your own room picked up, etc.

Can you lock your door? Can you hang a sign on your door? Either or both of these might help remind her that she needs to back off and respect your simple wishes for her to keep out of your room.

I've been there too. Moving out was one of the best things I could have done for myself. But along the way it got hard, I thought that I was going to have to drop out of school and move back home in shame. I lost one of my cats because I couldn't afford his medical care and no one would loan me the $50 dollars it would have taken to keep him. I had to feed a lower quality food to my cat and bird, and I existed on ramen noodles, once a day, there were days I just didn't eat.

The best advice I can give is look into any and every assistance program to see if you qualify. You may have to bite the bullet and decrease the quality of food you feed you pets and yourself. You'll also want to consider (and I really recommend) forgoing TV and internet. Put yourself and your critters on an austerity program, especially during school and you can do it. Walk or bike as many places as you can to conserve your gas.

You could also just buy a lock and instal it yourself ninja

it will be ok. plenty of people you rage still live at home. i would be if i didnt get married, im not live on my own material at all. im one of the only people i know around my age that has moved out. most of my friends are still with their parents and im about the same age as you

If your mom refuses to stop it, then why not work with her? Tell her where you want things to go if she insists on cleaning your room. Put labels here and there, where you want the rat towels to go, etc.

I honestly don't know what you can do, if talking to her doesn't work then... *shrug* I sat down with my mom and told her flat out, the way she acted was why I jumped so quickly into the whole Utah thing, and ended up in the situation I did attempting to escape from her controlling, and emotional abuse. After that she calmed down a bit, but still, It's difficult to handle.

Perhaps getting something like... The top part here with a combination lock or master lock would help to ease your peice of mind. My sister had one on her door to keep my brother out when she left the house.

Or maybe if you sit down and talk to her again, make it less about your stuff, and more about the safety of the house hold pets? What if one of the rats managed to escape the cage [Aida has proven she can at least once] and Rascal got in there? Or even Cowboy? Rats are vicious fighters, and it could result in very serious injury to both of the animals involved.