Am i GenderQueer or Transgendered?

[FireSeraph5]

This will be along opening post, as i will be explaining a lot of reasons why i ask.

I was born into a family with a lot of women in it, in fact they expected me to be a girl. However I was born MALE.

By age 7, I was the only male left in my house, as my dad have been thrown out and my only brother in law and my sister had moved out, leaving me with my other sister, who was in her teenage years and my mother.

I also was picked on in school for having too soft a voice, being too emotional and having long mullet-like hair, so I didn't have any friends.

By age 11 I made a friend, He told me three months later that I was, "the most girly boy he'd ever met who wasn't gay". My reply was that I tend to be "highly emotional and energetic at times...guess I am a girl in a guy's body huh?" we laughed and said no more on it, treating it like a joke.

Only just a few months ago, did a local Friend of mine reveal to me they had decided at a young age they were Transgendered. This friend and I began looking at things about me: They too agree with the other friend that I'm certainly not entirely male in mind.

However we've rounded it down to Genderqueer or Transgendered

Here's some of our evidence.
Pro-GQ/TG
---I use female Playables in any game, i feel "right" using them.
---At times I prefer to be called She instead of He, but this spawns from my family expecting a girl rather than a boy, which the family uses as a joke.
---My emotional situation also raises notation, my emotions change like the wind based on literally nothing or not much, if anything, at all.

Anti
---I prefer a female as my sexual partner, with my male body, this flags me as physically straight.
---I prefer to write fiction from a male's point of view. and in RPs I tend to detail out male character more than females.
---I don't feel trapped by my physical body.

Arguments to the antis:
Women have been around me all my life, this is why I prefer them: they make me feel more relaxed/at home just being near them.

My fiction tends to be from a male view yes, but most all the written story revolves around the Hero's Girl, even in RPs.

As for trapped-in-my-body, I haven't had time to feel that way, I only just found this concept of being earlier this year, and never questioned it before this.

As you can see...I'm certainly right to ask "What am I?" but Am I GenderQueer or TransGender is the question I need an answer to.

So now you've all seen the evidence...
Can anyone tell me what I am?  

[Esiris]

FireSeraph5

I was born into a family with a lot of women in it, in fact they expected me to be a girl. However I was born MALE.

By age 7, I was the only male left in my house, as my dad have been thrown out and my only brother in law and my sister had moved out, leaving me with my other sister, who was in her teenage years and my mother.

Neither of these really would explain any gender identity you have any more than aggressive fathers who bully their feminine sons can change who their sons are.

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I also was picked on in school for having too soft a voice, being too emotional and having long mullet-like hair, so I didn't have any friends.

I don't think physical conditioning = gender.

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My reply was that I tend to be "highly emotional and energetic at times...guess I am a girl in a guy's body huh?" we laughed and said no more on it, treating it like a joke.

I think this is the first insight into your gender you've mentioned.

Quote:

Only just a few months ago, did a local Friend of mine reveal to me they had decided at a young age they were Transgendered. This friend and I began looking at things about me: They too agree with the other friend that I'm certainly not entirely male in mind.

I think I mentioned this in the other thread- G-factor types rarely fall on the extremes, there are very few males who are 100% typed "masculine" and visa versa for women.

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---At times I prefer to be called She instead of He, but this spawns from my family expecting a girl rather than a boy, which the family uses as a joke.

I think this is the only thing you mentioned that is actually evidence about your gender- I know plenty of cis, het guys who love to play female characters and do it very well, and I think the stereotypes about voice and stuff is just a hold over from sexism and misogyny.

Quote:

Anti
---I prefer a female as my sexual partner, with my male body, this flags me as physically straight.

This has nothing to do with gender- this is orientation. Sexual orientations aren't based on which sexes and genders people are- they're based on how people feel and then use attraction and identities to describe those feelings.

Quote:

---I prefer to write fiction from a male's point of view. and in RPs I tend to detail out male character more than females.
---I don't feel trapped by my physical body.

And this is the second thing that really addresses your identity- based strictly on your descriptions of how you feel- you wouldn't be transgendered or genderqueer as much as you have a low masculine g-factor as a male.

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As for trapped-in-my-body, I haven't had time to feel that way, I only just found this concept of being earlier this year, and never questioned it before this.

I think that shows you're not TG, body dysphoria is one of the strongest signs.

Like I said earlier- based only on your descriptions of how you feel and basic gender studies, I'd say you're probably a Cis and Het male who is unfairly pressured to be more masculine than you're interested in being.  

[FireSeraph5]

I see you use Cis and Het a lot in your reply, and I know i've overstressed how new I am to all this, can you please explain these terms "Cis" and "Het" to me?  

[Esiris]

FireSeraph5

I see you use Cis and Het a lot in your reply, and I know i've overstressed how new I am to all this, can you please explain these terms "Cis" and "Het" to me?

Cis is short for cisgendered, it's someone who is not transgendered.
Het is short for heterosexual  

[FireSeraph5]

So Esiris, you consider me a Male in full, but not a masculine one?
or is that a skewed understanding?

And please min when i say this, the G-factor you keep referencing is also a big unknown to me, but what exactly would you call me if i'm not a highly masculine male?  

[PeachPunk]

To me, you seem like someone who is a bit... androgynous to say to the least. You're fine with experimenting with feminine fashions while having masculine thoughts. You are comfortable with being born a male, but you like to have the chance to experience what it's like to be a woman.
I guess you may fit the term gender-queer.  

[FireSeraph5]

Sunshine, you posted exactly how i feel. That lets me grasp the perspective I need to get ahold of. Thank you. I think you have answered my question.  

[Esiris]

FireSeraph5

So Esiris, you consider me a Male in full, but not a masculine one?
or is that a skewed understanding?

Since you don't have any body dysphoria, I don't have a reason to not think of you as male- and it sounds like you would be cis-gendered.

Quote:

And please min when i say this, the G-factor you keep referencing is also a big unknown to me, but what exactly would you call me if i'm not a highly masculine male?

I mistyped- sorry. It's G-index, and it is calculated by assessing physical, emotional and mental traits and how they align or scatter outside of your assigned sex.

I can't assess you- anything I would say would be a guess, but based on what you said I would say you're a mid to high G-index male.

FireSeraph5

Sunshine, you posted exactly how i feel. That lets me grasp the perspective I need to get ahold of. Thank you. I think you have answered my question.

Androgyny is the midpoint between masculine and feminine presentation- in my experience, it's used more to describe facets of other gender identities but is often applied to people who are agendered. Because gender expression includes physical ques- people can present a mix of the ques and create androgyny.

Some of the stuff that Sunshine mentioned is a little questionable- but if you feel like at times you might want to be a woman (something you hadn't mentioned before) you may be gender fluid or bigendered.  

[FireSeraph5]

Esiris

FireSeraph5

Sunshine, you posted exactly how i feel. That lets me grasp the perspective I need to get ahold of. Thank you. I think you have answered my question.

Some of the stuff that Sunshine mentioned is a little questionable- but if you feel like at times you might want to be a woman (something you hadn't mentioned before) you may be gender fluid or bigendered.

Ah i am sorry for not replying sooner, i got wrapped up in real life events. I can only say that sunshine put the words down better than i ever could. I tend to get lost in evidence and reasons the feelings are there rather than ways to portray said feelings.
Sunshine is right, and you are as well about me being at least Bigendered. I thank you all for your help.  

[ForeverDreamWithinADream]

Only you can know how you truly feel and identify with. Maybe you are bigender or genderqueer. Sometimes it takes awhile to figure out who you really are.

Writing and RP doesn't mean much when it comes to your gender. I have all sorts of characters and most would be nothing likely me. You can prefer male characters even if you are a woman and visa versa.

As for me, it was more of the opposite. I believed my parents were expecting a boy. I've always been more aggressive and not as interested in what other girls were/are interested most of the time with few exceptions (most of my friends, including best friends up until now were guys). Rarely would I feel or want to be feminine except for in costumes and really rare occasions. Belly dance is only feminine thing I really like and dress up and technically it is dance that is considered a folk dance in many countries and anyone can do it (some of my favorite dancers are men. Check out Steven Eggers).

I know for a fact I have some male traits due to my testosterone being too high.  

[Shanna66]

you mey be bigender, genderfluid, genderqueer, or a cis person who really doesnt care

just because you play games as a femals or prefer writing and reading from a mal POV doesnt mean alot. i play female characters on games whenever i get the chance because i prefer looking at women, and its still a somewhat new concept to me since ive been playing video games for so long

one of the things that really made me start questioning my gender identity was that i would often have dreams where ima man, even in my sex dreams im often a man. im not really sure what i identify as so i alternate between telling people im bigender and a cis person who doesnt care.

at the end of the day though you are you and thats the important thing.