How did you know?

[PandaCub3]

I have been asked plenty of times before, "How do you know you are lesbian?" "How long have you known you like girls?" and maybe a few others, just can't think of them... So, I guess I just wanna know if I am alone in saying, I have known really for as long as I can remember, which is pretty much my whole life.

Personally, I have always liked girls, whether I consciously knew it or not. When I finally realized that hey, I like girls, I was too afraid to even admit it to anybody, but myself in secret. (And my best friend from my whole life, and the only reason she knew was because she helped me figure out.) I was actually ashamed of who I really was because of how I was raised, which was to be a perfect little Christian. Then I started looking up to this one person. Her name is Sandra Alva (Alvarenga) and she currently is the drummer for the band Modern Day Escape.

She is amazing at what she does, and she is lesbian herself. When I began looking up to her, I gained confidence in myself and who I was. Soon, I was able, and confident enough, to admit publicly that I myself am lesbian. In fact, I owe this person my life. She literally talked me out of killing myself, which to this day, I am still grateful. It has been eight months since she did, and I am so very very thankful for her. (I hope one day to meet her in person and thank her that way.)

This all leads to my second person. Were you always able to admit who you are, (meaning your sexuality, because that is part of who you are!) publicly? Or did it take something or someone to get you to the point where you were able to, and if yes, who?

Just gonna say this now, you don't have to tell me or anyone if you don't want to. I am just curious. Now, a recap of all the questions!

1.) How long have you known your sexuality?
2.) Have you always been able to admit your sexuality publicly?
3.) If no, did it take someone or something to allow you to feel able to do so?
4.) If yes, who?

And just remember, you don't have to answer these! In fact, if you want to answer only one of these questions, but not the other, that is fine too! Like I said, just curious about others out there! (And if anybody needs/wants advice, I am always free to give it. You can shoot me a pm, and when I am online, because I do have school, I will answer. biggrin )

 

[ForeverDreamWithinADream]

1.) How long have you known your sexuality? It wasn't something I thought about until recently. I said before I would think "so and so is really pretty/handsome/sexy/cute" but just thought people be attractive to good looking people in general and nobody really questioned it.

2.) Have you always been able to admit your sexuality publicly? Online, sorta. Offline no, but I think people can sort of sense it and pick up hints or notice. Been called out my a group of girls at a mall once.

3.) If no, did it take someone or something to allow you to feel able to do so? Kind of.

4.) If yes, who
All sorts of people. I didn't realize about pansexuality or demisexuality until I realized that I am attracted to people despite their gender expression and identity (should of guessed when I liked this one Japanese rock star, no matter if he was cross dressing or not. He looked cute either way) , but really need to have an emotional connection with them or know them first, or it wouldn't really have an sexual attraction.

I don't think my dad would have much of problem. He might think it is weird, but also says people should live the way they want and make their own choices and have the same rights as long it doesn't harm others. Not quite sure about my mom, but I think I been educating them both. smile

I don't know if I can bring myself to date girls out of fear and the fact that I don't seem to get along with many. I don't why, but other girls always seemed to pick on me and do cruel things. To be honest, I am scared about sex/sexual activities in general. :c

I think most people I know and talk to seem cool with it overall and cool with how I express myself at times (I am a bit more masculine due to excessive androgen's/testosterone and messed up female hormones).  

[Thirteenth_Floor]

1.) How long have you known your sexuality? i believe since around elementary school. i had a crush on my best friend and always would want to spend time with him and hug him. i think i may have even managed to kiss him on the cheek in fourth year, back in the brazen days of youth, although i never really talked to him that much after that. never really knew if there was terminology for it. i believe that was....eight or nine years ago?

2.) Have you always been able to admit your sexuality publicly? not always.i maintained a deadly fear of doing so until around my junior and senior year of high school, where i developed a screw-it attitude about it all and joined the GSA, which i later became president of for a year's term. since then, i care little about who knows

3.) If no, did it take someone or something to allow you to feel able to do so? i guess it took me realizing that i shouldn't have to fear what people think. all things considering, in reality, i'm a pretty intimidating person to strangers and that works to my advantage. should people know, i doubt they'd have the guts to threaten a 6'3" guy

4.) If yes, who? i would have to say that my friends were a major part of me being okay with myself. they didn't really care who i was attracted to, and they gave me the idea to not assume that everyone is heterosexual. i actually go about the assumption that everyone is basely pansexual, and their focuses just simply narrow from there.

 

[Esiris]

PandaCub3

1.) How long have you known your sexuality?

I think since I was in middle school- but that's because growing up being a gray asexual with bi-leanings meant for me that I wasn't that interested in sex to begin with so I just didn't notice.

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2.) Have you always been able to admit your sexuality publicly?

I still don't admit it publicly- I've been beaten because someone thought I wasn't straight without even telling them so I don't feel safe to come out where I am to the general public.

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3.) If no, did it take someone or something to allow you to feel able to do so?

I want to live in a world where no one has to be afraid of not being straight or cis- so I'm working to create that world.  

[Saint Sims]

Thinking back now I've always been privy towards the male species but I wasn't necessarily too aware until late in elementary school.

Up until middle school I didn't exactly understand sexuality especially in a way that was counterculture or irregular, abnormal if you will.

I admitted my sexually in high school more openly and often simply because at that point I had all the friends I needed or wanted and who I was wasn't going to change because I suddenly open up more about myself.

All in all I think that the whole concept of having to realize your sexuality and "come out" is a load of bullshit. Love who you want, when you want, how you want, and leave it at that.

I've never been a labels person and still am not so when people ask me when I knew I was gay or that I liked men I simply wrinkle my brow and ask "when did you realize you were a human being and not a dog" or something snarky like that. Conceptually it's the same. Why realize something about yourself that you've known all along and that has never affected the content of your being or your character?

Quite glad you brought this up, though, I feel it's something everyone faces LGBTQAI or otherwise c:

 

[Shanna66]

1.) How long have you known your sexuality?
ive always known i liked girls, but thanks to middle school sex ed class and some friends i had when i was younger i felt ashamed of myself for it. i never gave my ex girlfriend a full chance because of it and i will always feel guilty about that

2.) Have you always been able to admit your sexuality publicly?
not until college. now im perfeclty fine with it. i dont go around talkign about it unless it comes up in conversation though. if someone assumes im straight i will correct them and if they ask i will tell them but other than that i really dont care

3.) If no, did it take someone or something to allow you to feel able
to do so?
i dated a bisexual guy before and i didnt even feel comfortable telling him, it wasnt until after we broke up that i felt more comfortable with myself, but he helped me out alot with accepting myself even though he will probably never know it.

4.) If yes, who?
ex boyfriend  

[Sifen Yamishi]

1.) How long have you known your sexuality?
Goodness...I had no idea until I was 17.
People knew while I was completely oblivious.

2.) Have you always been able to admit your sexuality publicly?
As of late, yes. My mom doesn't like that though. Saying it's due to this I have no friends.

3.) If no, did it take someone or something to allow you to feel able to do so?
Yes.

4.) If yes, who?
It took a freshman year Drawing I course in college to finally seal it in that I wasn't just an awkward girl in class.
A friend told me that the students kept staring due to being unable to tell my gender.  

[PandaCub3]

Esiris

PandaCub3

1.) How long have you known your sexuality?

I think since I was in middle school- but that's because growing up being a gray asexual with bi-leanings meant for me that I wasn't that interested in sex to begin with so I just didn't notice.

Quote:

2.) Have you always been able to admit your sexuality publicly?

I still don't admit it publicly- I've been beaten because someone thought I wasn't straight without even telling them so I don't feel safe to come out where I am to the general public.

Quote:

3.) If no, did it take someone or something to allow you to feel able to do so?

I want to live in a world where no one has to be afraid of not being straight or cis- so I'm working to create that world.

It makes me sad to see that you don't feel safe to come out where you live. I have been in the same position actually. And eventually, I just came out, and found people more accepting than I ever thought they would be. But if you have been beaten up for it, when you had never admitted to it publicly, that is a serious issue. Things like that go unnoticed and unreported. And then people tell false stories of being beaten and such. This all in turn, leaves less credibility to those who have actually been beaten for it.

If you ever need to speak to someone face to face about anything, GSA's are a good place to go. And if you really feel like it, go to a therapist. I find speaking to a therapist very soothing and relaxing. It allows me to let out things I ordinarily keep hidden inside. I hope one day you feel safe enough to be you publicly. I believe everyone should be allowed to be themselves. As long as they aren't hurting others that is.  

[loonaboots]

1.) How long have you known your sexuality?
not too long ago, actually- i'm in highschool, and i knew i might be asexual for a bit. i just recently realized that yes, i am asexual-panromantic with homoromantic leanings at the end of middle school.

2.) Have you always been able to admit your sexuality publicly?
uh, no. i did once, and i got weird looks. the other time i did, they thought i could asexually reproduce. that's teenagers for you. XD plus, i didn't even know what sexual attraction was- noone's willing to talk to teenagers about sexual attraction and all that. if they have, i was probably absent. :l but really, i also thought that everyone was sexually attracted to men or women (using gender binary because at the time i thought there was only two genders). later, when i realized that there are different genders and not everyone experiences sexual attraction, i started to consider the thought. i thought i was bisexual, then pansexual, then homosexual, and then asexual. that cycle repeated itself once more before i stayed on asexual.

3.) If no, did it take someone or something to allow you to feel able to do so?
no, not really- it just sort of.. came out i guess.

 

[Invincible Youth]

I wanted to stick p***y in my face. Simple as that.

1.) How long have you known your sexuality? 5 years?
2.) Have you always been able to admit your sexuality publicly? Not always.
3.) If no, did it take someone or something to allow you to feel able to do so? Joining my school's GSA.
4.) If yes, who? My friends were there with me and I just admitted it.  

[noigel]

When I look back and realized I always wanted to sit next to this boy during lunch in Pre-K? d:  

[Esiris]

PandaCub3

If you ever need to speak to someone face to face about anything, GSA's are a good place to go. And if you really feel like it, go to a therapist. I find speaking to a therapist very soothing and relaxing. It allows me to let out things I ordinarily keep hidden inside. I hope one day you feel safe enough to be you publicly. I believe everyone should be allowed to be themselves. As long as they aren't hurting others that is.

I wish I had the money to go to a therapist- but being poor and uninsured doesn't give me as many options as some other people have.

And I lead my school's GSA, but I can do that without being out publicly. Really, I think all GSA's should include that freedom.  

[Fee blanche]

1.) How long have you known your sexuality?
Well, I always knew that I liked girls and in Middle School I figured out I was Pan. Then last year I had my first sexual encounters with my boyfriend and I realized I was uncomfortable doing any of that with a male. I had to break up with him and it was horrible because he was so sweet. I am now happily an asexual gay.

2.) Have you always been able to admit your sexuality publicly?
I am open about it with my friends, they all have probably guessed by now and I came out to my schools GSA. My parents are still in the dark and I'm trying to build up my courage to tell them.

3.) If no, did it take someone or something to allow you to feel able to do so?
I've always been open with my sexuality, because none of my friends are judgemental. I was and still am a really shy person, so it's hard to say it sometimes because it is quite personal to me.

4.) If yes, who?
My friend 'Rainbow' was Bi and we always talked about that stuff. She helped my realize I was gay and asexual without really knowing it. After I broke up with my boyfriend she still thought for quite some time that I was still Pan.

 

[Anja Sedai]

1.) How long have you known your sexuality?
I've always known to some degree, I guess? When I actually put two and two together and finally consciously figured it out though was when I was in junior high. So over a decade by now.

2.) Have you always been able to admit your sexuality ******** no. At the time when I figured out what was going on with me I knew no one else who was not straight (at least no one who was out). And sex ed in no way covered anything remotely useful or even mentioned homosexuality. It was really confusing. I was way too scared to come out because I felt so alone. I was sure something was wrong with me. The fact that I have social anxiety disorder didn't help either.

3.) If no, did it take someone or something to allow you to feel able to do so?
Yes, sort of. I didn't come out until my sophmore year of high school. Even then I sort of only came out. I told my friends outright because I really wanted to stop pretending to be straight. My mom guessed. And I'm pretty sure my dad knows though we've never talked about it. It's up on my Facebook page for all to see and if I'm asked directly I'll answer, but I don't really make it a point to broadcast it.

4.) If yes, who?
It took a general awareness that I was not the only one to give me the courage to come out. So kind of a combination of things. As silly as it sounds, Buffy the Vampire Slayer really helped me out a lot. It was the first time I'd seen an openly gay character playing a main role on TV. I also had a friend who came out as gay and I got the courage and joined my high school's GSA. So all those helped me overcome the feeling of being alone enough for me to be comfortable admitting my sexuality.  

[Sin Error]

1.) How long have you known your sexuality?

For about 3-4 years now, I always knew there was something different about me...my interest in guys more than women perhaps? lol

2.) Have you always been able to admit your sexuality publicly?
Not always, but if someone asks me now i'l ltell'em. back then I used to act straight just so people wouldn't judge me for being homo, that was about about 3 years ago. but now I'm comfortable with my sexuality and I know that theres nothing wrong with me, if someone doesn't like it they can go ******** themselves.

3.) If no, did it take someone or something to allow you to feel able to do so? Actually it did take someone to make me feel normal, my boyfriend. he is the reason why I came out, beacuse I'm so in love with him I just couldn't deny our love or keep pretending he was my friend.
4.) If yes, who?

My boyfriend smile