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 Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 9:54 am
So I just joined this guild, but I've had this problem for almost 4 years. And I'm sure the majority of you have had or have helped a friend/family member with this problem. I've questioned my sexuality close to 3 years ago and decided that I'm Pansexual. I told my immediate family, well I kinda had to explain why I was upset when my first girlfriend beat the s**t out of my heart. but my grandparents aren't filled in on this (along with the church I'm forced to attend). I would like to tell them and everyone else but I don't think I should tell them because all of my family are avid church goers and the church I attend would crucify me I'm sure. And they love me, or at least I hope they do. Anyways, my point is that right now I don't think anyone would be accepting of me, and I wish to hear some of your stories or opinions to cheer me up, please and thank you... emotion_bigheart
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 12:32 pm
ive only told my dad and sister, i think my aunt may suspect and she has let me know that she accepts gays and stuff, but unless she asks me outright i wont tell her. most of my family are avid church people.
my dad, sister, and husband are the only people i felt i had to come out to so i just told them.
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 12:36 pm
Shanna66 ive only told my dad and sister, i think my aunt may suspect and she has let me know that she accepts gays and stuff, but unless she asks me outright i wont tell her. most of my family are avid church people. my dad, sister, and husband are the only people i felt i had to come out to so i just told them. My mom is a big anti gay person, it hurts that they still are like "ew gays" right in front of me...
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 12:40 pm
Kerosene Kisses Shanna66 ive only told my dad and sister, i think my aunt may suspect and she has let me know that she accepts gays and stuff, but unless she asks me outright i wont tell her. most of my family are avid church people. my dad, sister, and husband are the only people i felt i had to come out to so i just told them. My mom is a big anti gay person, it hurts that they still are like "ew gays" right in front of me... my grandmother is lik ethat, i never have any intention of ever comin gout to her. she is a hateful woman and i try to keep her at arms length as much as my father will let me. i like knowing that i dont have to come out to everyone. my bi/pansexualness is such a small part of my life that i dont usually even think about it though
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 12:44 pm
Shanna66 Kerosene Kisses Shanna66 ive only told my dad and sister, i think my aunt may suspect and she has let me know that she accepts gays and stuff, but unless she asks me outright i wont tell her. most of my family are avid church people. my dad, sister, and husband are the only people i felt i had to come out to so i just told them. My mom is a big anti gay person, it hurts that they still are like "ew gays" right in front of me... my grandmother is lik ethat, i never have any intention of ever comin gout to her. she is a hateful woman and i try to keep her at arms length as much as my father will let me. i like knowing that i dont have to come out to everyone. my bi/pansexualness is such a small part of my life that i dont usually even think about it though That's true, I didn't really think about it that way.
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 1:05 pm
I feel for you don't get me wrong I know how bad it can be. My last girlfriend got kicked out of her parents house and moved in with me but she decided that her family was more important to her and she decided it'd be best for her if she went to one of those gay to straight camp's. She left me after two years of dating me and it really broke my heart.
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 6:48 pm
well, my family knows i identify as ace. the thing is, they keep expecting me to be all turned off by sex and things (well, mom anyways, cuz' she read the aven thing). in actuality, i'm not sexually attracted to people at all. that's really all there is to it- i'm open to sex, blah blah all that.
so some friends and my immediate family know.
as for my panromantic yet homoromantic leanings? (although i'm beginning to think i may just be biromantic with large homoromantic leanings but whatever)
i'm not telling them that anytime soon. my dad knows i would date anyone i liked regardless of gender, so i think he knows the gist of it. my mom i'd like to leave in the dark, considering her habit of teasing us about things we told her when she needs and ego boost (she's not a happy person).
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 8:06 pm
Always Safety First!
If you're afraid that you could be hurt emotionally, physically, financially- you have every right to put your wellbeing first and not be ashamed of that.
Sometimes people surprise you- I came out to my grams and she was really supportive in ways my mama wasn't. When you feel safe and ready- you can choose to share or not, but coming out isn't a race and being yourself and being happy and healthy is more important than anything the people who don't support you would say or do!
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 8:22 pm
The big thing is that there's really no such thing as a "right way" to approach a coming out issue. It's all about what works for your specific situation. Like, in my case, my brothers know and my friends all know, but my extended family don't, and they probably never will. Don't worry about whether or not you think you have some obligation to tell people and just remember that what feels right to you is the most important thing.
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