Hmm okay, well this is definitely multiple questions/problems. Anyone who wants to offer advice on any of them is just great and I'll love you forever!
So, #1, this is just, I need advice because I have not actually ever dated anyone ever, and I've only been asked out once, so I don't really know how to deal with this. I've gotten better at being friends with guys and acting human around them but I don't know... Some guys at work said they were going to find me a boyfriend so they started asking what I like in a guy (which I found very embarrassing to tell them). I guess I just don't know what to expect. They were also telling me this guy that really creeps me out likes me/thinks I'm cute and that makes me feel uncomfortable, and I don't know how to deal with that at all....
Then #2!! I already know that the answer to this one is probably many, but how many reasons do you think there are that a guy would just stare at you? And like, you know he's staring at you so you turn and say "what?" and he says "nothing" and just keeps starring/making awkward eye contact at that point. Plus said male is in a relationship, but also possibly doesn't care about that fact.
And #3; This one is maybe more just a rant, though ideas are very accepted so I don't drive myself nuts. (also long, sorry in advance and you'll get some back story)
So; I do have a guy I like, but he lives really far away. We met over the summer because my friend took me to camp. He family goes there every summer and they keep a trailer there year round. This guy's family does the same and they have sites right across from each other. I met him the first day I was up there (my friend and I are 18 so it was just us, he's a year younger). Right away I thought he was attractive, and then I ended up spending a lot of time with him, and thought he was really cool. Fast foreword 2+ months now and we have talked almost every day, and I still like him. Probably more. And I am driving myself mad when I think about him because I miss him. Where I'm going with this, I don't know what I should do really. I think this possible "coworkers setting me up on a blind date" is a good idea because it could take my mind off him, but I also don't want to move on. And I do think it'd be great if I could tell him I like him, even though it would have to be a long distance relationship, which totally sucks, but I don't want to risk him not feeling as comfortable talking to me everyday. To be honest, talking to him is probably the highlight of my day, it always makes me happy to get a message from him no matter what mood I'm in. So I just don't know what to do, other than just let it be (which is what kind of drives me in a crazy circle). And now I am going to stop myself before I get all confused and just go off gushing about him (I'll save that for some other post some other time wink )
Okay, so please don't feel overwhelmed or a need to respond to everything, but I am very grateful for all input on my life, and sorry about the lengthy #3!!
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Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 9:27 am
Okay soo.
Issue 1: I wouldnt worry about not having dated, it can be a real pain in the arse. and unless youve really met someone amazing its not that fun. So don't worry about it, if you meet someone you like there is nothing to be scared about, just remember the worst that can happen when you go on a date is that you don't like each other and don't have a second date. As to your colleagues, If things they are saying makes you uncomfortable ether tell them or distance your self from them a little until they stop. As for saying that guy likes you, sounds like they were joking to me, they probably thought you'd get it was a joke and never thought it would make you uncomfortable.
Issue 2: If some guy was just staring i would assume he was just socially awkward, if he annoys you just stay away from him as much as possible. Alter you body language to maybe be a little more aggressive ( not mean, just clearly not open to his random staring) so he gets the message.
issue 3: With this guy its really up to you to decide how much you like him and wether or not you think you could make it work. What i will say is that i personally totally disagree with blind dates, i would never let anyone set me up with anyone. It would add so much pressure to the date and would just be awkward and weird, and if you've never dated before i think its a terrible way to start. Just my opinion. But you'd be better of starting dating with people you've met
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THE_FAIRY_EMPRESS Vice Captain
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Lynettifoo
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Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 10:02 am
The Fairy Empress made some great points. I'd just like to throw in my two cents.
#1: She was right. Your coworkers were probably joking around. You could tell them you already have someone you like and you won't need to get any blind dates from them. Or ask them why they don't focus on trying to get themselves girlfriends instead of bothering you? ;D (One of them must be single. They sound kinda jerkish.)
#2: He probably thinks you're beautiful. Which you are. But nobody has to tell you that, and HE ESPECIALLY ISN'T (not with his words at least). So just confront him. I've dealt with socially awkward guys and once you just ask them upfront why they're -insert action here- they will stop. Avoiding them never helped me too well (but maybe it was because we were in similar social circles...).
#3: Aww, hun. We're here to help each other. No need to hide away posts and feelings in a spoiler tag. Congratulations on the cute guy! I know it's bold of some stranger on the net to say, but you should ask him out. Say what you said here, that you like him more than friends but you don't want him to feel uncomfortable if he doesn't feel the same way. Leaving it up in the air won't help you nor him. At worst, he says he just wants to be friends. You'll still talk, but there would be no awkwardness with seeing him at school or anything. At best, you're in a relationship! As much as you make yourself inexperienced with boys, I'm sure you know a lot more than you do. You're doing something right. Long distance relationships can work! You guys already have a long distance friendship, right?
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