Afraid of family's thoughts on my bisexuality

[Dear Dracula]

I am bisexual and come from a somewhat religious family. It hurts that i can't tell my family but i know its for the best. I don't want to deal with the criticisms and hate from the people i love. But i want to know how to deal with it. I'm scared that they'll find out and hate me. How should i deal with this?  

[Derailing]

I think I'm on the same boat as you. I come from a Catholic family, although they're not too religious. BUT, they (my family members) make it clear that they believe homosexuality is wrong. What I am waiting for is to be completely independent (financially). I want to move out of my mother's house before I tell anyone that I am bisexual because I fear that they'll torment me and how they'll treat me. I hope you find a solution soon to your dilemma. whee heart  

[Shameless Smile]

First, I would sneak in small conversations with your parents about the idea of bisexuality or homosexuality since not all religious people are homophobes. For instance, I'm a ftm transgender who is dating a Catholic male and his family loves me. Try talking about a friend at school or something just to bring it up in a casual conversation.
Then, depending on how that goes, maybe you want to come out of the closet? or maybe you just want to lay low for a bit. It's not generally hard to hide your sexuality (if you disregard stereo types) unless you start dating. That's when the trouble will begin. As far as that goes, it's really your decision on if you want to tell your family or not.
Things to think about: If they really love you then they will love you no matter what. If something does go wrong, I'm assuming that you will eventually be able to move out.  

[Raeiko]

Cyzn

I think I'm on the same boat as you. I come from a Catholic family, although they're not too religious. BUT, they (my family members) make it clear that they believe homosexuality is wrong. What I am waiting for is to be completely independent (financially). I want to move out of my mother's house before I tell anyone that I am bisexual because I fear that they'll torment me and how they'll treat me. I hope you find a solution soon to your dilemma. whee heart

same here we are all on this boat  

[xXHazukashiiXx]

Break it down.

Ok, I'm a catholic gay male who is typically the same as the rest of you who have religious families. I originally came out to my parents when I turned 16. My parents, of course, began to panick and think that I was just curious and I didn't know what I was talking about. They then began to say that they had high blood pressure and heart problems increase because of my coming out. Because I loved my parents so much, I decided that being gay was a choice and tried to be straight (which is completely incorrect). I shoved my homosexual characteristics to the back of my mind and started being straight. About March of this year after being back from Basic and AIT with the army, I started to talk to another one of my gay friends who I had previous relationship with. I was suddenly hit with depression that I couldn't explain. I didn't know why I was depressed. I talked to my parents who ultimately decided I was depressed because I've been suppressing my real self for 3 years. I then came back out and started dating guys again. I instantly felt relieved. My parents understanding what I just went through accepted me completely. We are strong in the Catholic faith but don't think that homosexuality is wrong. They believe that the intercourse between us is wrong, but I talked to a priest who said sex between two males is the same as sex between a man and a woman out of wed lock. We are who we are. Don't be ashamed. Tell your parents and if they truly love you, they'll accept you.  

[Shanna66]

is there any reason they need to know right now? i told my dad and my sister and thats it as far as family goes. i figured since i married a man my filthy little bisexual-ness will probably never come up in conversation. though if my cousin start bitching about how slutty bisexuals are one more time i think i will just go ahead and come out to her

just realize that your family is filled with people, and people are learning creatures who are flawed. if you dont think they will accept you right away then ease them into it. bring up gay rights and share information, eventually if you feel the need to you can just come out to them and hope for the best. they are your family and should love you no matter what, if they dont then that is their problem and you will get to tell them to shut their mouths at all family events from then on  

[Acidburn95]

in my opinion, you should be who you feel you truly are. im bisexual, but i do not have a hardcore christian family. but i do have a hardcore christian grandmother, so it felt awkward coming out to her. i was afraid that she would reject me, but she didn't. most people aren't that lucky. what i have to say is, if you feel that your family should know about the real you, then go for it. and no matter what happens, you'll be able to stand tall and say "this is me, and im damn proud of it." ^w^  

[Acidburn95]

Alice is Madness

I know how you feel, I came out to my mother that I was MTF transgender but she didn't support me when I told her. I hope your parents are more supportive and understanding then mine was and if they truely love you they will come to support you for who you are not for what they want you to be.

i hope that you find someone in this world who will love and accept you for who you truly are. may the goddess holo the wise wolf bring you good fortune.
i have a girlfriend that is MTF, and i see her for who she truly is. i hope you can find someone too. although, i do view you as a girl, so...... what i mean was, that i hope you'll find someone who will see you for who you are and love you for that, who isn't already dating someone. if i didn't have a gf, i would definitely date you. true story ^w^  

[finduilas_bloodelf]

well i would have had that problem but the people raised me died so i told my sister she was cool with it i think she knew be for then i told my real mom and that did not go over to well my dad well it seams he and i share more then we though he was all cool with it turns out he is bi as well  

[obamaurmama]

Don't tell them until you move out. My parents kicked me out at 15 and I'd rather not go into how utterly horrible my life was for the next 2 years on my own. I got settled. Stuff got better.

Then they kicked out my sister for trying to help me out. Stuff got a lot worse with both of us, and now she's living with me (along with her daughter, because when she got kicked out she made some choices that ended with her pregnant and alone at 16).

Just stay quiet until you're on your own.  

[Lady Kayura]

Shanna66

is there any reason they need to know right now? i told my dad and my sister and thats it as far as family goes. i figured since i married a man my filthy little bisexual-ness will probably never come up in conversation. though if my cousin start bitching about how slutty bisexuals are one more time i think i will just go ahead and come out to her

just realize that your family is filled with people, and people are learning creatures who are flawed. if you dont think they will accept you right away then ease them into it. bring up gay rights and share information, eventually if you feel the need to you can just come out to them and hope for the best. they are your family and should love you no matter what, if they dont then that is their problem and you will get to tell them to shut their mouths at all family events from then on

Bolded for emphasis. I've wondered that myself. I'm engaged to a man and unless something goes horridly wrong, I plan to marry him. I'm also bisexual. He knows, my sister knows and some friends. But the rest of my family, (parents, brother, extended) don't know. For the most part, it doesn't ever come up. Though it would be nice to see a beautiful woman and be able to remark about her around my brother without getting that weird look from him. (Boything and I, despite being engaged, look at other people. We're engaged, not dead. xD)

So I don't talk about it. That said, I've slowly become more outspoken about LGBT rights. My dad went with me to a protest earlier this year supporting LGBT rights. I post about it on FB. I've talked about it with my mother. So if they don't suspect something I'd be surprised. I think being vocal about supporting rights will help should I ever come out for whatever reason.  

[Shanna66]

Lady Kayura

Shanna66

is there any reason they need to know right now? i told my dad and my sister and thats it as far as family goes. i figured since i married a man my filthy little bisexual-ness will probably never come up in conversation. though if my cousin start bitching about how slutty bisexuals are one more time i think i will just go ahead and come out to her

just realize that your family is filled with people, and people are learning creatures who are flawed. if you dont think they will accept you right away then ease them into it. bring up gay rights and share information, eventually if you feel the need to you can just come out to them and hope for the best. they are your family and should love you no matter what, if they dont then that is their problem and you will get to tell them to shut their mouths at all family events from then on

Bolded for emphasis. I've wondered that myself. I'm engaged to a man and unless something goes horridly wrong, I plan to marry him. I'm also bisexual. He knows, my sister knows and some friends. But the rest of my family, (parents, brother, extended) don't know. For the most part, it doesn't ever come up. Though it would be nice to see a beautiful woman and be able to remark about her around my brother without getting that weird look from him. (Boything and I, despite being engaged, look at other people. We're engaged, not dead. xD)

So I don't talk about it. That said, I've slowly become more outspoken about LGBT rights. My dad went with me to a protest earlier this year supporting LGBT rights. I post about it on FB. I've talked about it with my mother. So if they don't suspect something I'd be surprised. I think being vocal about supporting rights will help should I ever come out for whatever reason.

yeah, the only complaint i have about not telling my aunts, uncles, and cousins is that i cant post about my girl crushes on facebook without them figuring it out, and half of them are the type of people i really dont want to know. pretty much they are the type of people that dont questions the bible and want to vote for romney because he is a republican instead of voting for him because they agree with him on issues

but i do share alot of lgbt friendly posts, pictures, and news so they know where i stand on gay rights so if it ever did come out it shouldnt be some huge suprise. plus im still the cousin that does the most for my grandmother and as long as she is ok with me they would have to suck it up.