My girl cheated =( so y cant I?

[Rezal_Zioun]

Long story short she had gave a friend of hers oral. We have worked things out, but it still feels unfair. I love her to much to leave her. There is nothing she could ever do to make me leave her. I have never been unfaithful ever in 5 years and she does this. Whats the point for me being the only one following the rules?

It would only be once and never again. But that's if i can even go through with it. So far I have been satisfying the gay part of me by watching gay porn and it works to keep the flames low. So sexually I want to so so very bad. And realistically it seems fair. But romantically it would crush me so bad that i wouldn't even be able to look in a mirror =( .

(EDIT 11/12 9:30 AM EST)



I don't know what i was thinking when i typed that. Its just my head has been a little messed up.

(EDIT 1/5 8:00 AM EST)

I posted how everything worked out view last post (1/5/2013) in the tread by me  

[Rezal_Zioun]

Its just been a weird week =(  

[Taeryyn]

You may notice that your post has been edited. There was no need to go into explicit sexual detail, not only because it's against the guild's rules, but also because...seriously, TMI. Double-posting is also frowned upon, for the record; we're a slow guild, you don't need to bump your own thread.

To address the gist of your post:
Two wrongs don't make a right. If you're in a monogamous relationship, and want to stay that way, then you don't get to cheat. It wasn't right for your girlfriend to do so, so why would it be "fair" or right for you to do the same?

If you can't see the point in following the rules, even though breaking them would apparently "crush" you, then perhaps you shouldn't be in the relationship at all.
Despite your assertion that you two have worked things out, you still sound pretty hung up over her unfaithfulness. I don't blame you; something like that is hard to get past. But if you've forgiven her, and you want to have some sort of future together, then at some point you'll need to move past this incident. Dwelling on your own urge to be unfaithful (and trying to rationalize it) isn't going to accomplish anything.  

[ForeverDreamWithinADream]

If you love her, you won't do anything to hurt it. It would make you no better than her, snooping down to her level.

Do you still want to be with her? I you don't want to be with just her, maybe you should think whether or not you two should stay together.

I have to agree with Taeryyn and say maybe you shouldn't be in the relationship. Maybe a break, even not a breakup, would help you figure things out.  

[PandaCub3]

Dude, I have been there done that on the whole being cheated one/being used to cheat with crap. It. Is. Not. Worth. It. If you really love her and want to be with her, and have truly forgiven her, you wouldn't be wanting to well... Cheat... Best advice: Talk with her honestly and frankly, and PRAY. Whatever religion you may have, pray. If you don't believe in anything, well, I wish you luck.  

[Purple Robot Queen]

Like everybody else has said, running out and cheating back will just cause everything to deteriorate.  

[Shanna66]

either dump her or stay faithful. if you are wanting to cheat then go ahead and dump her because your relationship has lost its trust and isnt going to be able to develop or grow anyways so you may as well end it now and not waste time with each other

either end your relationship or move past this bump in the road, sitting there and whining about it or planning on cheating is the worst thing you can do and really is just a waste of your time and your girlfriend's time  

[Lady Kayura]

It sounds like, at least to me, that she hurt you now you want to hurt her back. Not the best way to maintain a healthy relationship, bro.  

[Raleigh_Ronin]

Rezal_Zioun

Long story short she had gave a friend of hers oral. We have worked things out, but it still feels unfair. I love her to much to leave her. There is nothing she could ever do to make me leave her. I have never been unfaithful ever in 5 years and she does this. Whats the point for me being the only one following the rules?

I wanna suck a d**k again its been over 5 years. If she gets to break the rules and suck off some other guy, then why cant I? [This section removed by crew] gonk

It would only be once and never again. But that's if i can even go through with it. So far I have been satisfying the gay part of me by watching gay porn and it works to keep the flames low. So sexually I want to so so very bad. And realistically it seems fair. But romantically it would crush me so bad that i wouldn't even be able to look in a mirror =( .

To maintain integrity. Just because someone else acts Amorally or does a d**k move doesn't mean you should do the same. Think of how much her act of unfaithfulness hurt your feelings, Why would you want to inflict that back on someone you claim to love? Revenge is destructive and petty in nature and is a common first step on the path to self destruction I would advise against it. How does it seem fair? If a friend breaks his word to me that hurts our friendship and lowers my trust of him but that doesn't give me the right to lie to him because in doing so I would damage communication and cause a barrier in our relationship. How can we talk to each other with substance when we both think we are lying through each other's teeth? Me lying in revenge in our thought experiment would only result in more pain and my word meaning less.

If you want to suck d**k talk to her about having a guy guy threesome. Or perhapse opening up your relationship. There are many ways to satistfy your urges without breaking her trust. But if you do go this route DO NOT slut shame, or bring up he past of infidelity to try to pressure her one way in the other.  

[Rezal_Zioun]

There is no way i could do anything like that. I throw up again last night. I am close to doing it again this morning. This whole thing has left me nauseated. I feel psychically sick. I just go through stages of anger followed by sadness.During both sickness. The whole thing happened Thursday, and I found out Friday so maybe i just need more time. I cant talk to any of my friends about it, because i don't want there options of her to change or hurt her reputation. The anger is not at her. Its focused mostly at him and i dont know why but myself. I am not psychically capable of getting mad at her. I have never been. Its been about 5 years now and I have never even raised my voice towards her not even once. I think i wanna be mad at her, But i psychically cant. That also scares me a bit at the same time, to realize how open i have left my self. I dont know what i was thinking last night. I know i cant hurt her in any way. I still feel the same way towards her as day one.

Its just I have not put a 100% faith in anyone before. She also has my whole heart and all my love. And she still does. I just want this sadness, anger, and sickness to go away .  

[PandaCub3]

Rezal_Zioun

There is no way i could do anything like that. I throw up again last night. I am close to doing it again this morning. This whole thing has left me nauseated. I feel psychically sick. I just go through stages of anger followed by sadness.During both sickness. The whole thing happened Thursday, and I found out Friday so maybe i just need more time. I cant talk to any of my friends about it, because i don't want there options of her to change or hurt her reputation. The anger is not at her. Its focused mostly at him and i dont know why but myself. I am not psychically capable of getting mad at her. I have never been. Its been about 5 years now and I have never even raised my voice towards her not even once. I think i wanna be mad at her, But i psychically cant. That also scares me a bit at the same time, to realize how open i have left my self. I dont know what i was thinking last night. I know i cant hurt her in any way. I still feel the same way towards her as day one.

Its just I have not put a 100% faith in anyone before. She also has my whole heart and all my love. And she still does. I just want this sadness, anger, and sickness to go away .

What you need to do, is stop thinking about the whole thing for about a week, then talk to her about it. Ask her what made her want to go cheat? Is it because she feels you aren't enough? Etc, etc.  

[Lady Kayura]

Rezal_Zioun

The anger is not at her. Its focused mostly at him and i dont know why but myself.

So, unless he forced her to do this, she's at fault. So not being angry at her I'm thinking is part of your problem.

How old were you guys when you started dating?  

[Rezal_Zioun]

Lady Kayura

Rezal_Zioun

The anger is not at her. Its focused mostly at him and i dont know why but myself.

So, unless he forced her to do this, she's at fault. So not being angry at her I'm thinking is part of your problem.

How old were you guys when you started dating?

18 and 19

She was in a bad mood and a friend from her college came over and they both got drunk.

So they are both to blame, but I know he has been after her for a long time. So I know he was the instigator of it. But yes she followed him.

I am angry at him, but disappointed in her. The disappointment in her is what is making me sick. Disappointment can be way worse than anger.  

[xx_Noah_Shadow_xx]

to wrongs never make a right
so what if its un-balanced? if you really wanna balance things out dont think about cheating and make sure ur partner shows more love then ever
and forget and dont have 1 more thought of cheating period