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 Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 3:04 pm
So i went to the doctors today to check on another health issue, and when we were going over my recent history i made a confession to the doctor. I told him that when i was younger i was bulimic/anorexic and that I had been in recovery ( about 10 years ago). My pediaricna knew ll this well enough but my new doc didnt. When were going into what might be behind my recent illnesses ( strep- phnemonia) i also confided that i had a relapse event about 2-3 months ago. As a result, the doc is pushing me to get some help and while i am resistant, I think at this point it may be wise. So while i look for a doc whos covered under my plan , I wanted to try to get some feedback, suggestions and any tips on how i can start to work with it.
A little back ground so you can see what happened the first time /vrs now.
What triggered the behavior the first time was (and this is all with in the same year)
Rape-betrayal by friend (due to the rape, male and female)-death of a very close human friend (suicide) and a very close pet (sudden illness) -competitive swimming- coming out to my parents as a bisexual teen .
Yeah from 14-15 my life was a black hole-- but i learned alot.
I saw a counselor then in order to try to get some help on these issues and it did no good. ll she did was guilt me and push the issues away. It was only when i went away to college, that i had the ability to open up. though talking with other women I discovered that I wasnt alone, and was able to help myself and others at the same time. I've resolved the issues around the rape and the betrayal/ trust issues. The same goes for the suicide and the coming out , both have lead me to try to be more active in outreach community groups.
What these all really boiled down to was anxiety/control issues . It seems that may be this time around. The relapse though has made me feel pathetic and rather disappointed in myself as i though i had come far.
If anyone can help in anyway way that would be great. I apologize for the rant above but I am honestly trying to work though this as i search for a doctor. Aside from my fiance and the doc. N one else knows about this. So im a tad scared to talk to them because i know the main reaction will be sadness, disappointment and fear. Thank you.
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Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 3:11 am
emotion_hug
You've been through so much at a young age, and yet still standing strong. In my opinion a great accomplishments even though you may have some dark days c: You can PM me whenever if you need someone to talk to, don't be scared, stay strong heart
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Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 9:21 am
itscatherinedude emotion_hug You've been through so much at a young age, and yet still standing strong. In my opinion a great accomplishments even though you may have some dark days c: You can PM me whenever if you need someone to talk to, don't be scared, stay strong heart Thank you , I'm always up for a good chatt. I was playign black jack int eh games section this wekekedn and found an odd but good group that gave some good anxiety managment ideas.
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Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 10:39 am
havockitty Thank you , I'm always up for a good chatt. I was playign black jack int eh games section this wekekedn and found an odd but good group that gave some good anxiety managment ideas. Dawwh, thats great! See things are going to get better, Just remain positive, and be patient. Don't give in to the negative, I know that happens to me sometimes, it feels like nothing will get better but if you continue to think that way nothing will.
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