So I have a cousin that never directly tell me what I do wrong. She will say it in a indirectly way but I am too innocent to understand.

For example, one day I was sitting next to her husband and she asked me : Why do you sit there (while smiling).
I said this couch is confortable...

Later my mom told me that I should not sit next to her husband. Because husband and wife should sit next to each other.

There are more examples of case like this but I won't start to list them.

I just feel annoyed that I am ''slow'' to understand stuff like that. So, I keep doing stuff in the wrong way and people misunderstand me. I will not realize the problem until someone tell me directly or explain....

I did a topic in lifestyle. I did not explain this way, but I asked why people won't say what you did wrong. The last post was relevant, and made me understand why.

I think majority of the time this is the source of the issue. We're sociologically conditioned that directly bringing up problems is rude, whether it simply be correcting elders or your peers. It's even veered against indirectly when dealing with younger people or to the point of "should we correct a child?" -and then it is usually left to their parents to correct them in most situations. Past these we're told that there's a specific method of gentleness that should be applied if you're telling someone they disturb/annoy you, or even a procedure depending on how complicated or simple the action is. Even in some professional workplaces, we're told to put complaints on a piece of paper and send it to human resources then work it out rather than immediately discussing a problem.

Dem social norms. They be whack.


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Anyways... My cousins are not contacting me anymore, and I don't want to.
Because last time, I tried. It caused some misunderstanding again, and my mom couldn't defend me because she didn't know what happened.

So, my cousins had a fight with my mom about her and I.
They brought out all grudges they had with my mom and I.

It makes me feel... really uncomfortable. I don't even want to meet them anymore.