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 Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 9:02 pm
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 7mo now. It's mostly long distance but I visited him a couple times (both were a month long). I know he is in a difficult school, so sometimes he just needs some time to himself. Last Tuesday was a better than normal day, we were having a cute conversation (a rarity) and then, he stopped texting. I assumed he just went to school and was busy. The next day, I noticed an email that was sent on Tuesday describing one of those days. He's barely spoken a word to me since. He wont answer my text messages and I'll see he's online on facebook, I try to talk to him, he logs off. I have no idea what his deal is, and he won't talk to me. We haven't fought, or argued, or anything! He finally texted me on Friday saying: "Sorry, I'm being a d**k" I told him I would forgive him, but he went right back to avoiding me! I'm so confused, and I just don't know what to do.
I just want things to go back to the way they were, everything was great between us. I'm totally in love with this guy, and I was sure he felt the same way. I miss him so badly, I don't want to just leave him.
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 4:59 pm
Maybe he's trying to tell you he wants distance without actually saying it? That’s the only reason I can think of why he would ignore you. Do you know any of his friends or family member that you can try to talk to about him?
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:28 pm
I think what Beth said could be a possibility. He could want some more time to himself and just doesn't want to say it, but the fact that that's come up before kind of confuses me. If you realized he does need time to himself before, why would he need to be secretive about it now? He acknowledges what he's doing is wrong, he even called himself a d**k, but he's still not changing what he's doing or explaining anything to you. Really, there isn't much you can do if he isn't willing to talk to you, which isn't much better than ignoring you in the first place. This is something you need to talk out to get to the bottom of, and he isn't coming forward, he's outright choosing not to. I think if this still persists, you could ask one of his friends or family members about him. You don't really need to say much at all, just ask if he's doing alright because you haven't heard from him in a while and you're worried about him. I think the worst case scenario for this is that he wants to break it off but doesn't know how to tell you, or just doesn't want to and would rather avoid it. Of course, we wont know what he's doing until he says so, so you're going to have to wait on him either way. In the meantime, just preoccupy yourself with other things, go out with friends, watch some movies, anything to keep your mind off him.
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Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2013 5:57 am
That sounds almost exactly like what I'm going through now. Only differences is we aren't dating (but we know how each other feel and cause we aren't ready to take that step yet) and he's a Marine currently stationed in Japan while I'm in another country. He just suddenly stopped talking a couple days ago after being concerned about me being sick that day. A couple of days before that, I had a confrontational session with him where I opened up to him some. Since then, his replies has been somewhat off than usual. When he didn't reply to a short video that I sent to him (about how i was feeling better) on line app, I just thought he was too busy with his work and so I waited a day later before asking if something was the matter. But he didn't reply to that either. I keep seeing him online on facebook too and I just sent a message there but he didn't reply to that too. The thing was about a week prior he shut himself off because of something someone did(no idea what since he won't tell me) and I had to plead with him to talk with me. He finally did reply a few days later, apologising and saying he'd understand if i didn't want to talk to him and all that. And I told him I understand but would appreciate if he would just tell me if he wasn't in the mood to talk, instead of ignoring me like that. And now this happens, I really don't know what to do either. I mean it wouldn't kill him to tell me that he wasn't in the mood to talk, at least I won't have to feel frantic or worried.
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Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2013 11:09 am
Godiva Intoxicated That sounds almost exactly like what I'm going through now. Only differences is we aren't dating (but we know how each other feel and cause we aren't ready to take that step yet) and he's a Marine currently stationed in Japan while I'm in another country. He just suddenly stopped talking a couple days ago after being concerned about me being sick that day. A couple of days before that, I had a confrontational session with him where I opened up to him some. Since then, his replies has been somewhat off than usual. When he didn't reply to a short video that I sent to him (about how i was feeling better) on line app, I just thought he was too busy with his work and so I waited a day later before asking if something was the matter. But he didn't reply to that either. I keep seeing him online on facebook too and I just sent a message there but he didn't reply to that too. The thing was about a week prior he shut himself off because of something someone did(no idea what since he won't tell me) and I had to plead with him to talk with me. He finally did reply a few days later, apologising and saying he'd understand if i didn't want to talk to him and all that. And I told him I understand but would appreciate if he would just tell me if he wasn't in the mood to talk, instead of ignoring me like that. And now this happens, I really don't know what to do either. I mean it wouldn't kill him to tell me that he wasn't in the mood to talk, at least I won't have to feel frantic or worried. I know what you mean. But after a couple more weeks, things went back to normal between him and I, and I kind of feel like I understand him a little bit better now. I know it really hurts right now, and I'm sure you're feeling really lonely, but if he really feels that way about you, he'll come back for sure. Just give him a little bit more time, and make sure he knows that you do still care about him.
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