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 Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:17 pm
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:53 pm
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Oh please, my boyfriend and i watch porn together. Nothing special. I am fine with him having girl friends because i trust him, and while this will sound conceited, i know every girl thinks this, they aren't more attractive than i am. since he and i can't spend a lot of time together, i guess it's fine with me if he hangs out with his friends. strippers, dancers and what not, if it is sexual and has to do with any other girl, then i certainly draw the line there.
i consider myself quite lucky that my boyfriend is loyal, and anyway, if he wanted someone to dance for him, i'd do it, ya know? Like, openness in relationships is key, it just depends on the couple who you are discussing with where the boundaries lie. it's people's opinions, and what they are comfortable with, i guess.
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:09 pm
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tanqela Oh please, my boyfriend and i watch porn together. Nothing special. I am fine with him having girl friends because i trust him, and while this will sound conceited, i know every girl thinks this, they aren't more attractive than i am. since he and i can't spend a lot of time together, i guess it's fine with me if he hangs out with his friends. strippers, dancers and what not, if it is sexual and has to do with any other girl, then i certainly draw the line there.
i consider myself quite lucky that my boyfriend is loyal, and anyway, if he wanted someone to dance for him, i'd do it, ya know? Like, openness in relationships is key, it just depends on the couple who you are discussing with where the boundaries lie. it's people's opinions, and what they are comfortable with, i guess.
Friends are one thing but dancers and strippers? No offense but you sound like boundaries are some form of insecurity.
But the dance thing is my point, if a girlfriend is willing to give a lap dance then there is no need or reason to go to a strip club, but I guess one would be found there if their girlfriend wasn't into something like that.
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:43 pm
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:48 pm
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:52 pm
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 6:06 pm
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little aishi chan
Um wow. Okay so I should just let random strangers touch me because god forbid I get uncomfortable with someone I don't know gets in my personal space.
I disagree with that otherwise ludicrous comment.
And now I find it funny that you say it depends on the people in the relationship their boundaries lie, or in your mind, where their insecurities lie.
babe, different people have different accounts on what they believe their specific boundaries are. what the actual ********? different people have different opinions on the matter. how can it be ludicrous? i'm just saying that's how people are.
you asked for feedback, therefore, i gave my belief on the matter. as i have typed in my previous posts, different people have different boundaries; just because society's norms do not deem their behavior proper, to them it is how it is.
boundaries shift with how comfortable the person is with the relationship. so, if the female is fine with the male getting a lap dance from a strip club, then so be it. if she does not deem it wrong, then it's fine. if she's not insecure about the male doing so, then let it. why would you concern yourself with other people's behavior? |
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 6:14 pm
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tanqela little aishi chan
Um wow. Okay so I should just let random strangers touch me because god forbid I get uncomfortable with someone I don't know gets in my personal space.
I disagree with that otherwise ludicrous comment.
And now I find it funny that you say it depends on the people in the relationship their boundaries lie, or in your mind, where their insecurities lie.
babe, different people have different accounts on what they believe their specific boundaries are. what the actual ********? different people have different opinions on the matter. how can it be ludicrous? i'm just saying that's how people are. you asked for feedback, therefore, i gave my belief on the matter. as i have typed in my previous posts, different people have different boundaries; just because society's norms do not deem their behavior proper, to them it is how it is. boundaries shift with how comfortable the person is with the relationship. so, if the female is fine with the male getting a lap dance from a strip club, then so be it. if she does not deem it wrong, then it's fine. if she's not insecure about the male doing so, then let it. why do you concern yourself with other people's behavior?
Excuse me, don't call me babe. I am not your girlfriend. I just find it funny and ridiculous you refer to boundaries as insecurities and then turn around and say it depends on people where their boundaries lie, because again you called boundaries a form of insecurity, which I guess would explain why you have none. Trying to be the kind of girlfriend who is care free and don't give a s**t what her boyfriend does because god forbid you feel uncomfortable with him getting a lap dance and giving his money to a dancer.
But as you type more, it is clear you need to find another word for insecurities because boundaries ain't it, as you are now referring to them as two different things whereas you used them both for one thing.
and I'm not sure if you realized, but this is the debate subforum. So if you just want to dish out your opinion and leave it at that heh, find another topic.
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 6:16 pm
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 6:34 pm
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little aishi chan
Excuse me, don't call me babe. I am not your girlfriend. I just find it funny and ridiculous you refer to boundaries as insecurities and then turn around and say it depends on people where their boundaries lie, because again you called boundaries a form of insecurity, which I guess would explain why you have none. Trying to be the kind of girlfriend who is care free and don't give a s**t what her boyfriend does because god forbid you feel uncomfortable with him getting a lap dance and giving his money to a dancer.
But as you type more, it is clear you need to find another word for insecurities because boundaries ain't it, as you are now referring to them as two different things whereas you used them both for one thing.
and I'm not sure if you realized, but this is the debate subforum. So if you just want to dish out your opinion and leave it at that heh, find another topic.
aren't insecurities based on people's own opinions and ideas? same as boundaries, they are two of the same. boundaries are just something created by the mind; psychologically made by the human mind. i have been saying they are the same the whole time, i have not contradicted what i have said.
i do get insecure about my relationship sometimes, but seriously, i trust him to do the right thing, otherwise, it is not a relationship at all. relationships are based off of mutual trust for the other party. i would probably get angry that he didn't ask me to dance for him, and obviously i would tell him that. i am far from a carefree girlfriend, but i understand that he's a male, therefore i am not going to hinder him from his pleasures.
i am debating: this is my opinion, which you clearly do not have the capability of understanding, boundaries and insecurities are two of the same. the two words can be connoted as the same. we are debating; however, you are too stubborn to understand what i mean. why not read some of emerson's essays to see where i come from. i suggest self reliance, or maybe you should read song of myself by whitman, canto 46. |
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 6:42 pm
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tanqela little aishi chan
Excuse me, don't call me babe. I am not your girlfriend. I just find it funny and ridiculous you refer to boundaries as insecurities and then turn around and say it depends on people where their boundaries lie, because again you called boundaries a form of insecurity, which I guess would explain why you have none. Trying to be the kind of girlfriend who is care free and don't give a s**t what her boyfriend does because god forbid you feel uncomfortable with him getting a lap dance and giving his money to a dancer.
But as you type more, it is clear you need to find another word for insecurities because boundaries ain't it, as you are now referring to them as two different things whereas you used them both for one thing.
and I'm not sure if you realized, but this is the debate subforum. So if you just want to dish out your opinion and leave it at that heh, find another topic.
aren't insecurities based on people's own opinions and ideas? same as boundaries, they are two of the same. boundaries are just something created by the mind; psychologically made by the human mind. i have been saying they are the same the whole time, i have not contradicted what i have said. i do get insecure about my relationship sometimes, but seriously, i trust him to do the right thing, otherwise, it is not a relationship at all. relationships are based off of mutual trust for the other party. i would probably get angry that he didn't ask me to dance for him, and obviously i would tell him that. i am far from a carefree girlfriend, but i understand that he's a male, therefore i am not going to hinder him from his pleasures. i am debating: this is my opinion, which you clearly do not have the capability of understanding, boundaries and insecurities are two of the same. the two words can be connoted as the same. we are debating; however, you are too stubborn to understand what i mean. why not read some of emerson's essays to see where i come from. i suggest self reliance, or maybe you should read song of myself by whitman, canto 46.
No, insecurity is when you are not confident, that has nothing to do with boundaries. Who the hell would be confident with a stranger touching them? And yeah you are contridicting yourself and not just with the boundaries and insecurities.
You don't sound like you are debating as you keep bringing up that this is a simple I asked for opinions and you gave yours and thud I shouldn't question what you just dished out. Sounds like you don't have the capability to understand that.
You're done here. Goodbye.
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Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 7:17 am
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little aishi chan StrayKit porn is hardly cheating, it's getting a cheap thrill when you're horney and your significant other doesn't want sex or you both want to watch it together to laugh at. i've watched porn with my friends before and we got nothing out of them(have you seen a porno? it is not sexy and can in no way be cheating). for someone to cheat on another person you have to be going behind a person's back and seeing someone else. that's cheating. so making out, going on dates, sex of any kind, basically if it falls into one of the four bases then it's cheating. lap dances aren't cheating, what do you think happens at batchlor parties before a wedding? that's not ceating anymore than a girl going to see the Chip and Dale boys and watch those boys stip and dance in front of them for money. that isn't cheating, that's adult entertainment and there is a difference
I don't think you read the topic right......I KNOW you did not read the topic right. So tell me, where do YOU draw the line and what do YOU consider to be cheating?
yes i did. you said "where is the line drawn?", that is the topic line. your first post was with examples of what you've heard people are okay with and then asked where the line was drawn in that and what we see to be cheating. i said that porn and lap dances aren't cheating. i said "for someone to cheat on another person you have to be going behind a person's back and seeing someone else. that's cheating. so making out, going on dates, sex of any kind, basically if it falls into one of the four bases then it's cheating". that is what i see as cheating, because you're with one person and doing the same intimate things with another person. that was my opinion, that is what i stated |
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Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 7:39 am
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tanqela or maybe you should read song of myself by whitman, canto 46.
personally i greatly enjoyed 26, but 46 is equally wonderful. and i agree with you, a number of boundaries are formed by insecurities. you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or otherwise threatened in some way and thus put something up to prevent that. in cheating, it's drawing a line, the boundary, at any point where you think something that you're uncomfortable with, an insecurity often times, to prevent it. the two correlate more often than not. |
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Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 9:34 am
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StrayKit little aishi chan StrayKit porn is hardly cheating, it's getting a cheap thrill when you're horney and your significant other doesn't want sex or you both want to watch it together to laugh at. i've watched porn with my friends before and we got nothing out of them(have you seen a porno? it is not sexy and can in no way be cheating). for someone to cheat on another person you have to be going behind a person's back and seeing someone else. that's cheating. so making out, going on dates, sex of any kind, basically if it falls into one of the four bases then it's cheating. lap dances aren't cheating, what do you think happens at batchlor parties before a wedding? that's not ceating anymore than a girl going to see the Chip and Dale boys and watch those boys stip and dance in front of them for money. that isn't cheating, that's adult entertainment and there is a difference
I don't think you read the topic right......I KNOW you did not read the topic right. So tell me, where do YOU draw the line and what do YOU consider to be cheating?
yes i did. you said "where is the line drawn?", that is the topic line. your first post was with examples of what you've heard people are okay with and then asked where the line was drawn in that and what we see to be cheating. i said that porn and lap dances aren't cheating. i said "for someone to cheat on another person you have to be going behind a person's back and seeing someone else. that's cheating. so making out, going on dates, sex of any kind, basically if it falls into one of the four bases then it's cheating". that is what i see as cheating, because you're with one person and doing the same intimate things with another person. that was my opinion, that is what i stated
Exactly where do you drawn the line. And thus I didn't ask you to tell me what IS and is not cheating. I mean if you read your damn comment, you were pretty much TELLING me what is and is not considered cheating. Talking about bachelor parties and s**t. I am asking for opinions not people to tell me what is and is not cheat like it is a damn fact.
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Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:16 pm
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little aishi chan StrayKit little aishi chan StrayKit porn is hardly cheating, it's getting a cheap thrill when you're horney and your significant other doesn't want sex or you both want to watch it together to laugh at. i've watched porn with my friends before and we got nothing out of them(have you seen a porno? it is not sexy and can in no way be cheating). for someone to cheat on another person you have to be going behind a person's back and seeing someone else. that's cheating. so making out, going on dates, sex of any kind, basically if it falls into one of the four bases then it's cheating. lap dances aren't cheating, what do you think happens at batchlor parties before a wedding? that's not ceating anymore than a girl going to see the Chip and Dale boys and watch those boys stip and dance in front of them for money. that isn't cheating, that's adult entertainment and there is a difference
I don't think you read the topic right......I KNOW you did not read the topic right. So tell me, where do YOU draw the line and what do YOU consider to be cheating?
yes i did. you said "where is the line drawn?", that is the topic line. your first post was with examples of what you've heard people are okay with and then asked where the line was drawn in that and what we see to be cheating. i said that porn and lap dances aren't cheating. i said "for someone to cheat on another person you have to be going behind a person's back and seeing someone else. that's cheating. so making out, going on dates, sex of any kind, basically if it falls into one of the four bases then it's cheating". that is what i see as cheating, because you're with one person and doing the same intimate things with another person. that was my opinion, that is what i stated
Exactly where do you drawn the line. And thus I didn't ask you to tell me what IS and is not cheating. I mean if you read your damn comment, you were pretty much TELLING me what is and is not considered cheating. Talking about bachelor parties and s**t. I am asking for opinions not people to tell me what is and is not cheat like it is a damn fact.
that was my opinion, if it didn't seem that way then i appologize but that's what it was. and bachelor parties were brought up because you mentioned lap dancing and a number of bachelor parties happen at strip clubs where that sort of thing happens. again, i'm sorry if it didn't seem like i was giving an opinion |
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