Welcome to Gaia! ::

Hello, RPC. One of the second families I will never forget. I'll never forget the two years I've spent here in your midst. And this place. I wouldn't have it any other way. For me, there is no better place to RP.

However, due to some unforeseen... circumstances... I fear I lack the will to face you. I feel I am no longer welcome. I feel... My heart is broken. I feel I can no longer keep up in this charade of smiles.

Have I been disgraced in your eyes? Am I no longer worthy? Or was I never worthy to begin with?

While I seek to return, while my heart is shaking but willing to go on, my stomach churns as I open this tab that contains you in all your glory, all your people. .. Or is it the alcohol, actually?

Sometimes, I feel ashamed to show my face because honestly, I feel paranoid that the whole world is turning against me. And I have little choice but to act violently... Defensively... Selfishly... Against this (Hell, please be true) imaginary threat. And this is not the kind of face I want to show you.

And sometimes, I fear that in this state, I may say something wrong, break your heart, sever ties -- without my sane and sober mind intending to.

That said, I shall collect myself and sort out my life before even attempting to face you again without hindrance. That may be in a few weeks, in a few months, maybe never. I can tell you though, that if I can manage to come back, it might be in July as I may be well-adjusted to academic life again by that time.

I will risk displeasing all of you now with this announced absence rather than displeasing each of you separately through tactless words and not posting in role plays, thus slowing everybody down.

So... I regret to inform that I am formally withdrawing my presence from this subforum for an indefinite amount of time. Please take down my profiles. You are welcome to remake any and all of my current and past roleplays present in this subforum.

Thank you for your patience.

And yes, I'm kinda drunk. Sorry for any grammatical errors that may be present throughout this post. Again, I'm sorry.

Aya, you're drunk and acting melodramatic. I was mad at you because I felt like you stabbed me in the back and I thought we were friends. I understand you're stressed. I'm stressed to. I think a lot of us are. It just hurts me that instead of apologizing or asking me what's wrong, you blew up in my face. That's your fault and you have no one else to blame but yourself. But you know what, it's ok. We're human and we make mistakes. I know what it's like to be where you are and to feel like your unforgiving. So, even though you won't apologies, I will forgive you. It's seriously not as big of a deal as you're making it. After all, we're friends.

It is you who is putting up your own charade. You are making yourself smile and it is society that imposes that you do so. It's ok to be angry... to blow up and throw s***. It's healthy to vent and be yourself. If you hate the charade, throw it away and be yourself. No one is forcing you to smile all the time. It's just that everyone else wants you to so you think you're obligated to. They want you to pretend like these things don't exist but they do. All you can do is your best... to face them and get them over with and move on with your life.

Aya, you're welcome to the rpc subforum. You have done nothing wrong (from what I can tell) and if you did, I'm sure everyone that were involved in the roleplays with you would have mentioned it to you. If you kept on doing whatever it was you were doing, I'm sure you would have been banned from Why Not?