LOTS OF TRIGGER WARNINGS HERE SO FEEL FREE TO TURN BACK BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO STIR UP s**t FOR ANY OF YOU <3
I'll come out and say it.
I'm fairly certain I have depression and some anxiety order. I've been feeling pretty down for a while- hell, you know how grad is supposed to be your night of accomplishment? I came and cried myself to sleep. I've been suicidal. The urge is rising again.
I eyelash pull. Trichotillomania, I'm pretty sure I'd get diagnosed with that because I pull them when triggered by anxious thoughts or tension. Or if I get scared. And ******** I've been scared lately.
Scared of messing up. Scared that customers at work will ask me a question I don't know the answer. Scared if I ask a manager, they'll be wondering when I try to figure out my department for myself. Horrified that I miss a shift because I ******** up reading the schedule and that a call from them isn't to pick up an extra shift, but because I'm late or didn't come in. Horrified I'll get nowhere in life. Terrified that people pretend to like me. Absolutely ******** terrified I'll do something i regret.
But no. My mum thinks it's a rut and doesn't know half of this. She says to wait a month and get into a structure routine. How the ******** do I tell her all this.
It's A Girl Thing! ♥
A Family, A Home.
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