There's a lot of s**t going on in my life,
I'm trying to fix myself up but I have no one in real life I can talk to.
So, Internet, here I am.
I'm trying to fix myself up but I have no one in real life I can talk to.
So, Internet, here I am.
So, for the longest time, I have been really unsure of how I feel towards
my on again/off again ex. We're on again/off again because, obviously, I do
have feelings for him. I just don't know what those feelings are anymore.
You see, he's been trying to get back with me for the longest time.
I get extremely angry when he brings it up though.
Each time we talk, this anger just intensifies. I don't know where it comes
from or why I get angry when he even tries to talk to me. I start lashing out
at him and only him. Literally, when I see his face, I can feel my chest
getting heavy with bitterness.
All the times we've been together, nothing bad really happened other than
I felt ignored majority of the time. But he's done nothing to me, that I
remember, to make me truly resent him. I won't lie though, he is really
annoying. But being annoying isn't enough to make me this angry.
On the other hand, however, when he doesn't talk to me, I feel a physical
sadness. I feel lonely when he's not around me and I want to talk to him.
Buuuut then we talk and I automatically get angry with him.
Basically, love & hate kind of thing. I hate it though, I hate not knowing
why or what I should be feeling. Do I hate him or love him?
I have no idea how to begin to figure this out, I need some kind of help.
Btw, this is kind of rambly, ranty nonsense. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.