Here's an interesting topic to discuss: Are you friends with your Ex(es)?
I am. I have two Exes. My first Ex is in the military, so it's tough to keep in contact. However, we do manage to message each other every now and then through Facebook (I do care for his safety). My second Ex lives about an hour away. We talk from time to time; in fact, we had lunch a few months ago just to catch up on things. My current boyfriend is very trusting and is okay with me maintaining connections with my Exes. In my point of view, my Exes were once my best friends. I personally do not see a reason why I can't or shouldn't uphold friendships with them. I stand firm to the whole "I'm an adult and I can talk to whoever I want" ideal.
Now, I understand that some relationships go sour and maintaining connections simply isn't in the picture. Those situations obviously do not fit the paradigm I'm referring to. Rather, I'm saying that relationships that end on mutual or amicable terms can indeed foster friendships even beyond the term of said relationship. To each their own, but my Exes are my friends, and will remain as such.
Your turn (if applicable).
Posted: Sat Dec 14, 2013 7:20 am
yeah, I am friends with my ex, we split because we both ended up preferring men, she met this amazing guy, and I started talking to him, so happy she found someone so great, I am actually pretty close to him now aswell. cat_3nodding happy ending heart
Generally, yeah, I am on good terms with my exes. There is one exception, but considering the way the relationship ended, it's not surprising that I wouldn't want to speak to him. My most recent ex is one of my best friends, and is good friends with my current boyfriend. :3
Posted: Sat Dec 14, 2013 10:48 am
I've never been in a relationship so I don't have any exes so to speak.
Ideally, though, I'd like to keep in contact with them. I think that before I'd be in relationship with anyone that they'd first have to be a friend, so why shouldn't they be a friend after?
I'm well versed at burning bridges but I don't believe that every bridge crossed needs burning.
I've never been in a relationship so I don't have any exes so to speak.
me lol
Posted: Sat Dec 14, 2013 11:30 pm
Interesting topic, surprised no one has thought to bring it up before.
Personally, I view it as a yin/yang thing. I mean, it depends on why you broke up, emotions directed towards each other, yada yada.
I am good friends with several of my exes, but then again a couple I am not, due to conflicting residual emotions, or simply negative ones.
My husband is the type person that likes and is friends with everyone, literally. He still talks to his first ex from 8 years ago, and we all have dinner with him frequently. So it really just depends.
I say its okay so long as you are in a secure and committed relationship, otherwise it could breed some bad emotions such as jealousy/anger yada yada. Forgive my rambling, I haven't slept in over 24 hours, and I am waiting on my plane and my husband is asleep on my shoulder so I gotta stay awake somehow.
I'm still best friends with one of mine. He was before the relationship and our friendship was strong enough to continue after we stopped going out. My other ex on the other hand, I don't want anything to do with. You know that song "Somebody I Used To Know"? That's pretty close to how our relationship went, with her completely cutting me off. So that's a bit more understandable.
Posted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 2:43 pm
Well, I was involved in something complicated with one of my best friends for almost four years. We've been friends for almost ten, so we already had a lot of history together as it was. I was already open, while he wasn't, he was still dating girls, and along with a few other circumstances, we locked horns as often as we got along well.
Anyway, him and I are still very good friends, he's open and with someone else, who I met and is really one of the kindness people I know. It was weird figuring out how to go about things, just because with the old flame and me, it was hard to keep from getting sentimental when we'd talk—but it's worked out well, it probably wouldn't have if we didn't establish some sense of closure at any point the past two years and leave each other to our devices. Figure things out on our own.
It actually made us a lot closer, honestly, we always had a harmonious connection, which in retrospect, the harmony is barely a fraction as cataclysmal as it used to be. We both did a lot of introspection and reconstructing our self-images. When he comes to visit, sometimes with his boyfriend, or when I travel out to see them, we have a great time.
I get weird looks from some of my friends and relatives when I tell them I'm fine with it, a lot of "I could never do that" statements or something similar or how it must not be easy. I could admit that, it can be tough, but only as tough as either person wants to make it out to be. I still get hits of nostalgia or miss certain things, but it passes, quicker than it would when I was in denial about things being done.
So I think I would say it is possible. If it's a mutual thing, or even if it just at least ended on a good note, and it's someone that you care about and have a lot of history with, and genuinely value the relationship beyond just whatever romantic elements were there—they'll fit into your life—maybe a little bit differently than before, but they'll fit.
And to use myself as an example to try to articulate this, if I had a boyfriend whose ex is still a part of their lives, got their closure, and they've maintained a good and healthy friendship and my boyfriend is genuinely happy to be able to keep the friendship, I wouldn't be bothered the slightest bit. I think it takes most people having a good and positive experience like that at least in one relationship—for them to completely understand where their boyfriend is coming from.
TL;DR: I've been in similar circumstances, and I think it's totally possible like you said, and as long as it's mutual and the friendship is still strong, I see nothing wrong with it.
I've never been in a relationship so I don't have any exes so to speak.
Ideally, though, I'd like to keep in contact with them. I think that before I'd be in relationship with anyone that they'd first have to be a friend, so why shouldn't they be a friend after? I'm well versed at burning bridges but I don't believe that every bridge crossed needs burning.
^Amen Joe.. Wholeheartedly agree with that last bit. emotion_dealwithit
Im best friends with three of my exes... 2 of them female, and one of them my only male gay best friend.
Another ex of mine...Well, that didn't end so well. Kinda mortal enemies.
BUT! In anyone's current relationship, I think it should be okay to be friends with your exes..Just some partners are prone to jealousy, so talking to them about it should be a big topic of discussion. If they don't want you to be friends with your exes? Well.. Decisions should be made accordingly. gaia_diamond
I'm friends with a few. Mostly I fall out of contact with the large majority but that doesn't mean we couldn't be friends.
My one ex though I refuse to talk to. She cheated on me, then after her ex husband that she cheated on me with went gay she suddenly got all clingy and wanted to talk more. I noped out of it then and there. I kinda think it woulda been justified that he cheat on her with me, just for lulz.
Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 5:16 pm
I'm friends with some of my ex-boyfriends. One of my ex-boyfriends is in jail and he gets out in December (he was supposed to get 5 years, but I guess he's getting out early on good behavior).
I'm not really friends with any of my exes. With older relationships, it seems that they always just kind of drop off of the radar entirely, without animosity and the more recent ones... Well, one one side or the other, things got ugly.
Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 9:33 pm
I can be friends with a few, but mostly I am not because of jealousy..
Most the time I have pretty decent relationships with my ex's, if our breakup was okay and we've both had time to heal, then it's certainly no problem still being friends. I dated my current BFF once, that's legit how we became best friends.
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