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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:42 pm
I have absolutely no idea what to do for her but holy s**t wow that's terrible.
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Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 6:25 am
Holy s**t. My condolences. That's so terrible.
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Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:05 am
My suggestion is to love her, support her when she needs it, forgive her when she does stuff due to emotion and help her get started again if she gets mentally or emotionally stuck.
This sort of trauma usually stays with a person to some degree for the rest of their lives. It may also affect you some.
Yes this is an awful situation.
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Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:50 am
Yeah, the best thing you can do is be there. That's really awful. sad
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Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:32 pm
Yeah idk, she said she was there for me when my dad died but I mostly just wanted to be by myself and I don't know if she's the same way. At the very least, I told her that she can let me know if she needs anything.
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Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 6:20 am
When Robin died last month we all just kind of wanted to be surrounded by each other, the people we love who all loved her. I know it's different for everyone but that was really, really nice.
Also I think when someone you love dies you would be surprised by the people in your life who do and do not comfort you. There are a lot of people important in my life who didn't say a word. Maybe they just didn't want to overwhelm me or didn't know what to say, but I definitely noticed.
When the day of her service came, Addy came and then an old friend of mine and Eric's showed up, who we thought kinda hated us now. So. That was surprising, but nice.
Anyway the point is that if you think you want to give her space and let her decide if she wants you or not, go ahead and do it, but maybe also don't let her decide, as when this stuff happens, in my experience most people don't ask, they just accept the comfort offered to them.
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Posted: Fri Jan 17, 2014 4:32 am
I would not give her space necessarility. I know I didn't want to reach out and ask for help but inside I begged for it. I felt like for me to ask for help was imposing on others, and yet, I felt completely abandoned by those wishing to "give me space".
I'd call after your friend maybe once a week. Let them know they are not forgotten and should they need ANYTHING you are there.
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Posted: Fri Jan 17, 2014 3:59 pm
Idk, like I wanted people to text me but the thought of actually talking to anyone about it was way too intimidating for a while. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it together.
Anyway I feel like crap because the funeral was today but I couldn't go because of our class field trip (my mom told me she would go though). And hopefully I'll see her tomorrow.
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