Bisexuality and descrimination within the LGBTQA community

[jessie laney]

I am really tired of bisexuality being viewed as a less legitimate sexuality. Pansexuality too. ESPECIALLY by (some) others in the LGBTQA community.

I can't count the number of times I have heard from gay and straight people alike that bisexuals are 'going through a phase' or 'can't make up their mind'. Some even go so far as to say that bisexuality doesn't exist! While I do recognize that some people do go through a stint of saying they or thinking are bisexual for a short time when they are coming to terms with being gay, the vast majority of bi and pan people are going to stay that way.

Or, even worse, people say that they are desperate/slutty/nymphos and will sleep with anyone.

Another thing I have heard within the community is that bi and pan people who date or marry people of the opposite sex are taking the easy way out. We are more accepted as bisexuals within the community if we date someone of the same gender. But when our relationship is hetero, we are just choosing that person because it is an easier life than choosing someone of the opposite gender, and we value the easy way more than we value our sexuality. Which is all kinds of stupid. Yes, of course, being in a gay relationship is difficult in the day and age we live in, especially in some places. But who we fall in love with has no bearing on how easy we want our lives to be.

I have also known MANY lesbians who will not date bisexual chicks. Not sure if it is the same for gay guys, but I am sure they exist, too. Your preferences and tastes are your own business, and I am sure you have your reasons, but shutting out an entire group of women who like women because we also happen to like men is kind of...snobby and narrow-minded, I think.

Bisexuals and pansexuals look for the right person to fall in love with and don't exclude based on sex or gender. We are attracted to attractive people, inside and out. We have our own unique challenges just like every other "letter" in the LGBTQA spectrum. And I hope that someday we will be more accepted, both within and outside the community.  

[Blackrose_Knight]

I have run into the problem of lesbians not wanting to date bi chicks. Its ******** infuriating.

Its stupid. Just because I give a mean fellatio session doesn't mean I am somehow inept at cunnilingus. And it certainly doesn't mean I will somehow infect your glorious lesbian bodies with boy-liking cooties.  

[Thirteenth_Floor]

I have suffered/witnessed similar problems, mostly because I've been so involved in the LGBTQIA+ community over the past 5 years, and I actually have come to a bit of a conclusion as to why this happens.

As it seems, people have a bit of a disbelief due to people not exactly coming out as gay initially, using bisexuality as a transitional phase before coming more comfortable in accepting who they are. Unfortunately, that tends to give a bit of credence to those who say that people who are actually bisexual are just in the transitional phase, even if they aren't.

I've also learned of degrees of bisexuality and pansexuality, as it isn't something that is fully balanced. I can't really say of anyone who fits into either sexuality as without any sort of preference, either in gender or aesthetics. I actually have a friend who is 5% bisexual, 95% lesbian, according to the Kinsey scale. That 5%? Her now ex-boyfriend, who she loved and was attracted to greatly, but likely the only guy she was attracted to. And I have a friend who is pansexual, but she tends to lean towards people who have more masculine traits to them, regardless of what gender they are.

There is a great stigma and fear of infidelity among people whose levels of attraction are more widespread than others, which gives birth to the stereotype that people who identify as bisexual or pansexual could potentially have a greater attraction level to someone who isn't even like the person they're with. Still, it tends to ignore the fact that there are other things to factor, such as whether a person believes in monogamy or is more content being polyamourous/having open relationships. ANYONE can be in that category, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation.

I think that the problem in this subject is that the development of "Queer Education" is still in its infancy. Most people tend to believe that there is only the LGB and maybe T, when there is a whole spectrum (hence the use of the rainbow as a flag) of sexuality and identity, such as the Q for queer and questioning, A for asexual or allied (as in this day and age, people who even support the community are labeled into it), T for transgender or transsexual, I for intersex, D for demisexual or demiromantic, P for pansexual or polysexual, another G for gender-fluid or gender-queer, C for cisgender or cissexual. And what isn't even covered in education all that much is the incident of sexuality being situational or based on a great amount of prerequisites for a person to be more reciprocal to any sort of attraction.

 

[Gummy burrs]

Amen!

My psych of gender professor said that most bisexuals prefer one gender over the other...which is what differentiates bisexual from pansexual right? Pansexuals have no preference, so they are 50/50, and bisexuals are 51/49 or have a bigger preference for one sex over the other.

I believe bisexuality is stigmatized by many, like you've mentioned. I've been watching a group of lesbian vloggers on Youtube, and they seem to share the same concept of newbie-bisexuals not being about to make up their mind.  

[Thirteenth_Floor]

retro_rage

Amen!

My psych of gender professor said that most bisexuals prefer one gender over the other...which is what differentiates bisexual from pansexual right? Pansexuals have no preference, so they are 50/50, and bisexuals are 51/49 or have a bigger preference for one sex over the other.

I believe bisexuality is stigmatized by many, like you've mentioned. I've been watching a group of lesbian vloggers on Youtube, and they seem to share the same concept of newbie-bisexuals not being about to make up their mind.

Yep! There are so many different gradients within each sexuality that it is rather amazing how some people know so much about it. Ever since sexual orientation differing from heterosexuality was removed from the DSM (which is the standard psychological disorder "textbook"), psychologists have been exploring the spectrum and scientists have been narrowing down the genetic sequences responsible for such orientations as well as the chemicals responsible for them, and have more or less discovered that there is little to no chemical difference.

 

[Gummy burrs]

sans-coeur13

retro_rage

Amen!

My psych of gender professor said that most bisexuals prefer one gender over the other...which is what differentiates bisexual from pansexual right? Pansexuals have no preference, so they are 50/50, and bisexuals are 51/49 or have a bigger preference for one sex over the other.

I believe bisexuality is stigmatized by many, like you've mentioned. I've been watching a group of lesbian vloggers on Youtube, and they seem to share the same concept of newbie-bisexuals not being about to make up their mind.

Yep! There are so many different gradients within each sexuality that it is rather amazing how some people know so much about it. Ever since sexual orientation differing from heterosexuality was removed from the DSM (which is the standard psychological disorder "textbook"), psychologists have been exploring the spectrum and scientists have been narrowing down the genetic sequences responsible for such orientations as well as the chemicals responsible for them, and have more or less discovered that there is little to no chemical difference.

Interesting. emotion_dowant Thanks for elaborating!