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Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 10:44 pm
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hi, so im not sure how to say this but i guess ill just kinda spat it out
for years i have known that i am gender fluid, sometimes feeling male like i was born, and other times feeling 100% female, sometimes in-between. about 2 weeks ago I started thinking heavily about my gender-fluid-ness, and i realized I am in my female side about 60% of the time. Now im in the closet to most people about being gender fluid (but not that im gay) and feel like i never get to express my feminine side when i feel that way, like i don't get to dress like a girl, i have to keep from referring to my self as one, just kinda have to be male 24/7. while thinking about that, the next day i kinda slipped into an in-between state and kinda well, felt like both my male and female sides were fighting with each other, got really depressed and kinda had a melt down, once i came to and calmed down after a few days, i went into my girl side of my gender-fluid-ness, and kinda haven't gone out of it, that's been about 2 weeks, normally i don't feel like a side more then a day or 2, nor have i ever felt like a girl this strongly. I even kinda decided on a whim to ask a few of my friends to from now on refer to me as female from now and have stopped thinking of my self as guy anymore all together. does this mean i kinda no longer feel like I'm gender fluid, did i just switch to being fully tran's?
idk, im kinda freaked out. yeah i know it will all be explained in due time, but I'm idk, im just kinda obsessing and wanted see if anyone had any answers, or even advice on how to deal with this
so yeah, also sorry, yeah i know this is my first post in 2 years but ill try to be active more from now on
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Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2014 2:48 pm
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Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2014 11:00 pm
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Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2014 1:29 pm
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What you described is -- for lack of a better word -- a symptom of the consuetudinary term known as 'gender fluid'. But what Muse says is correct; labels are labels and focusing on the fine details every living moment of your sentience will only drive you insane. You feel as you feel, and if describing it as gender-fluid will assist you in assuaging your thoughts, then that's fine.
Now, if you feel that, genuinely -- and this is where you need to get introspective, truly -- you are female, and are meant to be a women, and just don't fit into society's view of the male gender -- or just don't feel very male at all --, then it's likely you're transgender. Now, gender-fluidity fits under the transgender umbrella term, and not on that, but there's also gender non-conforming, where you are neither, but a third gender.
My verdict? Well, there's no exact verdict from me, and no one could truly tell you -- not even another transperson, such as myself. You are you, and that's all that counts. Want to be female? Go ahead, by all means. Want to stick to the male side? Have at it. Don't care for either or want to be both? Better for you, that way you won't get caught up in traditional societal norms.
I hope you take an enlightening and introspective journey within yourself, and find solace with yourself in doing so as well. Or you could do what Muse said, and live your life, eventually discovering -- likely with serendipity -- your true self.
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Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2014 4:24 pm
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Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2014 11:21 pm
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