There's finally a name to the monster. With a proper diagnosis, something official, I could maybe have a little more hope of getting my foot in the door or at least some sort of insurance/income.
Bad news: (in spoilers for people who don't like reading sad things)
I have to wait for the evaluation. Meanwhile, depression sucks. I'm at this point in my life where I see everyone else's lives taking off while I'm stuck in a farm house, only able to look through a screen to see all the amazing places people can go and the amazing things they can do to just live their lives while I feel like I'm stuck here dying on the inside, living the same day over and over... T~T There are friends I haven't talked to in months. For some unknown reason, I just can't bring myself to talk to them. Then there's this crushing self doubt and it feels like I'm constantly judging myself.I also catch myself lying more often than not when people ask me if I'm okay.
If I could just leave... If I could go anywhere in the world and explore, just... get away from... this... from my small world to something a little bit bigger maybe I would actually feel like I have room to breathe...
