The world washed away into a sea of memories as pale eyes closed and mind drifted into another place and time. Where moments were preserved and unspoiled by the rest of the world. To a place where there was nothing but happiness, pure joy and endless laughs and smiles. What more could be asked then to want to stay here for eternity. It's true that reality is the only place that can allow for new memories, new joys to store away. Revisiting moments is a rare treat because it seems that dreams aren't something that were afforded to her often. When she did dream she was thankful to be allowed to revisit her past and sink into the warmth of those few cherished moments. Because when she dreamed, he was there. While she wouldn't label him a knight in shining armor, he was a sort of savior. He had saved her from herself. It was during a time in her life that she had been so lost that she payed little mind to those around her, let alone herself.
He stuck with her though, kept reassuring her that things would get better. She liked to call him her shadowy savior because she could never remember his face, only his voice. It was as if the rest of him was hidden behind a veil of mist, forever eluding her of what he looked like. She could remember his warm embrace though, his gentle touch, his soothing words.
Those were the moments she would return to when she did dream, memories of him. Even if they weren't complete one's. She could only ever remember bits and pieces, they were tiny fragments, part of a larger picture that she was unable to unlock. She couldn't even remember his name. She just knew that he was the greatest ally she had ever known.
Her mother wasn't the most loving of mares. She didn't blame her for that though. Her mother was a product of things that were out of her control and it had turned her hard and she loved her in her own, strange, way. This stallion though, if she were to have said it was love, that would have been a lie because who was she to know what love was? At first she had been so sure his attempts were to try and get close to her for romantic reasons, but the longer he hung around the more she realized it was because he genuinely cared. Never having known that kind of emotion before she had been uncertain and just continued to block him out. Maybe that's why her memories of him were so foggy. Still, the bits that shone through were brilliant and consuming. It's possible in another life they could have been great lovers, but in this time they were probably destined to be companions, to help guide one another on the paths their lives had laid out before them.
She wasn't a fighter like her mother, not in a physical sense anyway. The battles she waged were all internal and she wondered if she'd ever settle the demons that plagued her. Manifestations in her mind that constantly brought her down. He helped to fight them off, by always being there, always reassuring, she slowly built up defenses in her mind, growing more confident in herself. But now that he was gone, far away it seemed, those dark thoughts one more returned to plague her, except for when she was asleep. This was the only place she found herself to be safe. With memories of her dark friend that wanted nothing but the best for her.
Brethil, despite her great lineage, wasn't made for this world. At least that was what she thought. Varda never would have dreamed her child felt that way about herself, while she was hard on her daughter, her daughter never let on that there was anything amiss. Brethil was a master at deception, masking her true feelings with a fake smile or a simple nod of her elegant head. Opening her eyes the pale eyed mare stretched her elongated wings and let out a deep sigh. What was his name? Where had he gone? Why couldn't she remember anything else about her friend that had helped her thought so much? Was it possible she had just dreamed him up? Harbored herself away within her own mind and just let time pass her by without even knowing it. Looking down at herself she felt so distorted, but she didn't appear to be malnourished.
What was so wrong with her that her mind didn't make sense anymore? It was as if her Angel of Darkness had abandoned her, though there wasn't anything sinister about him at all. She, an Angel of the Light, needed the comfort of the dark. Perhaps she just needed to travel to darker lands? Wasn't that where she had found him? Or he found her? The memories blurred together sometimes and it was impossible for her to distinguish where something began and ended. While that wasn't all too troublesome, it did make her trying to recall things a chore.
Sighing, she looked towards the sky. It was overcast, the sun hidden behind grey clouds. Was it going to rain? The air didn't feel heavy, but she almost wished it would. Closing her eyes she cast her head skyward and imagined a downpour that would be so deafening it would drown out her thoughts and any sorrows within her heart. Wash away all the negativity in her life and once it ended her life and thoughts would begin anew. She obviously knew that wasn't how that worked, but she could imagine it would do the trick.
A small smile formed upon her narrow face and she reopened her eyes and thought back on her friend. Why couldn't she remember anything about him? It was puzzling to her, but it wasn't something that was unexplainable. Perhaps she had hit her head, or she had made him up. She hoped the later wasn't the case because she longed to see the stallion that helped keep the darkness within her at bay. Had she ever even really talked to him? She tried to remember but all she could focus on was his voice, the words he said, how he said things. Maybe he wasn't meant to be part of her life any longer than the short time that he was? If she could remember everything he had said, perhaps she could just uplift herself. That would be the ideal situation right? Being able to take care of yourself and not rely on another living creature to help you. However, she wasn't there yet. The aid of another was required of her and she hoped their paths would cross once more.
But would she recognize him? Doubtful. She knew though, if he were to speak to her she'd know him in an instant. There was something so unique, so settling, and so sure about his voice. Even the way he had carried himself had left in imprint on her, though not enough for her to remember him any more than just some veiled prince of shadows. That's what her mind called him anyway, "Prince of Shadows" or "Angel of Darkness." Always a lack of light when she thought of him, she wasn't sure why that was.
Staying where she was wouldn't help her. She knew that she was going to have to search for her friend. Perhaps if she was persistent her efforts would be worth it. Maybe she'd see her companion once more. Though was he even in need of her? Did he miss her? Those were questions that began to plague her mind. Shaking her head she knew she shouldn't start down that path but once the ball was rolling it was hard to slow it down. Still, she could try. Planting one of her feet down rather firmly she shook her head back and forth as if telling herself no and focused on what could be. She could do this, she could find her friend, if she tried hard enough. The world wasn't that large, was it? She hadn't travelled that far in the lands of the Kawani that retracing where she'd come from shouldn't be too difficult.
Stretching her wings she wondered if flying wouldn't be too far fetched, for the longest time she had walked along, forgetting they were a part of her body. Would they be able to carry her without issue? Giving herself a small shake she told herself "I can do this, I will do this." Pushed off with her back legs as she bounded forward, throwing open her wings she gave one, two three pumps and leapt into the air. At first they strained under the weight of her lithe frame and then an upwards draft caught her and carried her upwards into the darkening skies. Her figure became smaller and smaller as she disappeared into the oncoming darkness.
