Poetry?

[Pensakura]

Hey guys, I was bored so I wrote this, tell me what you think, and what I can do to maybe improve it.



Happiness at the Bottom of a Coffee Cup

My mind won’t stop moving,
Won’t stop losing,
Track of time, what to say,
And what I did at the end of the day.
Sonets, plays, epic feats,
Play in my head just like heart beats.
I watch them in my head,
As I lay in bed,
As I try to fall asleep.
My imagination’s only limited,
To my internet’s speed.
It’s always less than what I need,
But I manage to move my speed.
In my kitchen, in a store,
The aroma makes my senses soar.
And nobody seems to mind,
The many different ways to make it,
My coffee cup.
The empty cup.  

[toricmpbll]

very good  

[Zygona]

I eat your empty cup  

[cherrish_girl]

blaugh i love this part
'' To my internet’s speed. It’s always less than what I need ''

 

[Pensakura]

Thanks for the compliments heart  

[[kookies]]

that was pretty good
i love poetry
heart

 

[BlackBloodJin]

well, this isn't exactly a poem. It's kind of like a short narrative. Not my best work. but i just thought it up.




Blue silk flowing as an ocean; behind be whipping through the winds. Tears blurring my vision, burning my skin just to the touch. Pin pricks stab at my every nerve. My legs carry me as far from this hell as possible. Every still moment I think of you. But you are with her. Ours was once a true love only found in fairytales I thought I would tell our children in time. But in truth, our love is a tainted love. Your passions have found to reside in another.

My home once opened to your is now her home as well. A single blonde hair fuzzed the stagnant pieces together. I need no apology, no retribution, no explanation. Your secret is safe with me.

Your penance will have no meaning here. As I grab my torch and light ablaze to our home. This night the sky will burn with screams and the moon will laugh in delight. And the stars will mock from afar just watching you melt into her.

There I stand. Dazed with a smirk on my soot covered face. My eyes half lidded with a deep dark chaos inside. Turning away, I laugh as the moon.

“An ashen grave eh? Ha! Fit for a king that you are.”

For you were the king of my heart.  

[[kookies]]

that was so sweet whee

 

[BlackBloodJin]

Thanks, Pensakura said it was ok...... well fine!  

[toricmpbll]

i love this part

Your penance will have no meaning here. As I grab my torch and light ablaze to our home. This night the sky will burn with screams and the moon will laugh in delight. And the stars will mock from afar just watching you melt into her.  

[BlackBloodJin]

thanks i want to take the creative writing class at school sometime next year  

[toricmpbll]

BlackBloodJin

thanks i want to take the creative writing class at school sometime next year

i can't write sweatdrop  

[toricmpbll]

AngelMuerto

toricmpbll

BlackBloodJin

thanks i want to take the creative writing class at school sometime next year

i can't write sweatdrop

i can't spell gonk

i'm the worest at spellling