I'm Sorry, My Friend... pls. comment | Page 1 | 44: Stairway to Poetry | Guild Forums

kristine54

Offline

Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 8:30 pm

I'm really sorry,
My friend,
For all the mistakes I've made...

I knew you wanted our friendship
To be joyful,
But sometimes,
It's really sad...

I knew how much I've caused you pain,
To make you cry,
To make you suffer,
To make you feel angry at me,
To make our friendship be almost broken...

And for all of these,
There's one thing I hope to say to you,
Forgive me,
I'm so sorry...

Comments and votes are welcomed... wink

Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 11:50 pm

"I knew how much I've caused you pain,
To make you cry,
To make you suffer,
To make you feel angry at me,
To make our friendship be almost broken... "

i dont mean to be mean, but this part is a little redundant, try using different phrases, instead of to make you, or just leave it off all together, just a little constructive critism, please dont take it the wrong way smile

BarefootInTheSnow

Offline

kristine54

Offline

Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 4:55 am

Tonia_Lee

"I knew how much I've caused you pain,
To make you cry,
To make you suffer,
To make you feel angry at me,
To make our friendship be almost broken... "

i dont mean to be mean, but this part is a little redundant, try using different phrases, instead of to make you, or just leave it off all together, just a little constructive critism, please dont take it the wrong way smile

Aww... sorry... crying I never knew you're such a good critique when it comes to poetry...

well, I guess you're right... I shouldn't have repeated "to make you", but I guess it would be a bit confusing if I made it different... sweatdrop

Don't worry, I'll try to improve... wink

Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 4:30 pm

well if u were venting its not all that bad, its more of a free writing

War Resistance

Offline

Welcome to Gaia! ::

Gaia Guilds

Reality: Resurrection!

Quick Reply

More Information