-The Past is History-

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

Hey, it's hard enough in real life, don't beat yourself up about virtuality. You have a new friend who makes you happy just by being there. How many people have that on or offline? emotion_hug

lo

This is true. smile Thanks Gigi. emotion_hug  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Digital Fiend

Just more stopping in, it sucks that i can't type right now.

That's okay Digi. Love you. Take care of yourself and Liam <3. I hope everything is going very well!  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

10/25/2012

Just 6 days to go. I feel super conflicted. I am happy because I really like someone and they like me back but I can't help but feel this overwhelming heartache because Halloween is only 6 days away. I don't even know if I will manage to drag myself out of bed on Halloween. I don't know. Its getting worse. This sinking, depressing, looming feeling. I'm slacking at my guild work, on the house work, on everything. I should be cutting my pumpkin and cooking those pies but I just can't bring myself to do anything but vegetate in front of the computer in fantasy worlds that make me forget that I'm only myself just for a short period of time. Its bad enough that my life has turned out the way it has...I tend to be depressed about that on a fairly regular basis...but when you add my mom's death on top of it all it almost becomes too much for me to handle. I feel like I am going to go insane. Like I need to pull all my hair out and scream and cry. Like I need to punch things and just lose it! But I don't I continue to just sit here and pray that it all goes away... these feelings... I just want them to go away... isn't there anything that can help me? Not likely. Even if there was I can't afford it I'm sure. Just...

Just..........................................just.......nothing....  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

RainbowPop26

Aw, hon emotion_hug How would your mom feel if she saw you getting so down because of the date? I get the feeling she'd be worried about you for giving up like you say you have.

Go ahead, bake a pumpkin pie, and on the 2nd of November, serve her up a slice. I do something like this for my Grandma... I wonder what she thinks of what's going on in my life?

If you feel like punching someone, you know who my first choice is!  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

Thanks Gigi. I know you are right. She would be so mad at me for how I've turned out. gonk

I was planning on setting her out a slice on Samhain (aka Halloween) because that is what you do on the holiday....or at least its one of the things you should do... I've only done it once before a few years back I made a pasta dish... but I broke down and lost it... so this year I'm gonna try it again...hopefully it will be better... but I'm doubting it....

Heheehe you made me laugh at that one. I'd love to punch him but he would just whine like a little girl and honestly his voice when he whines is worse than when he doesn't... meh


Btw...its so strange you should say that the Day of the Dead is on November 2nd... I had no idea... My mom died on Halloween and her Funeral was on November 2nd... eek


P.S. I'm reading that article now. I wish I lived in SoCal now just so I could attend that. The alter sounds a lot like what you should have for a wiccan alter. o.O  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

RainbowPop26

Mad? No. I think she'd be very sad but hoping you'd come out of it. You know, like a normal mother.

Do or do not, there is no "try". emotion_hug

Gah, what a wuss! Too bad you're not near me, because I could use him as an outlet for my own frustrations cat_twisted

Well, as I understand it, a lot of modern* Wicca's ceremonies are drawn from multiple practices worldwide.

I make my altar in a hidden spot where my parents won't find it. They say it's Devil worship or some such nonsense.

*Redundant redundancy is redundant. Wicca is mainly a Reconstructionist religion. Still as valid as any other.  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

Maybe she would. I don't know I can't say/

I hate that saying lol.

He is def a wuss! That would be funny and something I would love to watch!

razz <3

Oh I know... my mom thought it was devil worship too. -__- I would like to scream at the mention of Devil Worship and Wicca in the same sentence.

*So true. razz  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

I was going to spew some stuff here but I think it fits better in the Wicca discussion thread in forum 32.  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

:3Nod:  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

10/27/2012

Still slacking on the guildwork, still anxious but at least now I have something to look forward to. I asked the girl I like if she would be my online girlfriend yesterday and she said yes. I'm super happy about it. I feel all conflicted. On one hand I'm super depressed because of Halloween. On the other hand I am super happy because she makes me that way. <3 My avi atm so reflects how I feel.

Robert's still being a dipshit but I swear I think he nearly gave me a heart attack earlier today. He made macaroni and cheese all by himself and then brought me some when I was sleeping (sure he woke me up -_- and true to his form he left the freaking pot on the stove with the cheese sauce crap sitting in it for ME to have to clean up... but at least he did something on his own right? )He cooked hamburgers the past two days too... but he left the wrapper on the counter the first day and the little styrofoam container on it the next...one step forward two steps back....meh...where did that frying pan go... I might have to use it... on his head... Oh wait its still sitting in there on the stove with grease in it... yep yep...meh

edit: I HATE him. I just showed him my new avatar and he goes oh its pretty too bad it can never be perfect... I said why... and he said because... and I said if you say because she can never be as beautiful as me or some bullshit I will b***h slap you... he freaking got mad at me and squeezed my foot. My feet freaking hurt...I'm fairly certain I have neuropathy in my feet because I can barely feel anything but pain in them. Then he got mad at me when I told him that hurt. I was like you just don't hurt me because I make you mad he said "SO WHAT?!? (his eyes got big and he got all growly and gritted his teeth when he said so what) I didn't know your feet hurt." I tell him at least once a week that my feet hurt. He knows my feet hurt. I am so sick of his bad attitude and his anger issues....  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

RainbowPop26

Piñata time soon? cat_twisted  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

RainbowPop26

Piñata time soon? cat_twisted

Oh don't I wish. Oh boy I so wish.

No better yet I wish I had the money to be out on my own. I'd move to Texas.  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Oh... want to go find a deep dark hole to hide in today....its not so bad right now...but wait till a time closer to Midnight comes and see how together I am... you won't be able to... I won't be here...I'll be screaming and crying my eyes out...just make the pain go away...someone... crying  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

RainbowPop26

Oh... want to go find a deep dark hole to hide in today....its not so bad right now...but wait till a time closer to Midnight comes and see how together I am... you won't be able to... I won't be here...I'll be screaming and crying my eyes out...just make the pain go away...someone... crying

emotion_hug  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

emotion_hug Thanks Gigi. <3