Magical Soda Machine

[Nei1]

Gets radiation poisoning.
Inserts a arm that fell off.  

[ThisEmptySoul]

Gets: a morbid back scratcher

Inserts: formaldehyde  

[Fallicious Flavor]

Gets Lung Cancer

Inserts a Cigarette  

[Nei1]

Gets a cool refreshing taste of a Lucky Stripe.
Inserts a radio sponsor.  

[Fallicious Flavor]

Gets a popular daytime radio show

Inserts a microphone  

[Nei1]

Gets Fanny Brice.
Inserts a whiny crybaby. (Baby Snooks)  

[Fallicious Flavor]

Gets a Whiny crying adult

Inserts a Diploma  

[SP-O Wlm Dougherty]

Gets a document frame.

Inserts an empty stainless steel water bottle.  

[babyshinobi]

gets dehydration crying
inserts a water fountain  

[Keisaku Hakurei]

Gets an annoying kid using the water fountain next to it playing with your water pressure by playing with his fountain. (I've really seen water fountains using shared water pressure)

Inserts an XBox 360.  

[Nei1]

Gets a frozen screen.
Insert a WII.  

[Keisaku Hakurei]

Gets fun.
Inserts the music video for Soulja Boy's "Crank Dat".  

[Fallicious Flavor]

Gets ill

Inserts a tarantula  

[babyshinobi]

gets away from the soda machine really quickly
inserts a dead fly to placate the arachnid  

[Nei1]

Gets a giant spider that eats the fly.
Inserts the spider's web covering a cave entrance.