GGG Most WANTED ~ CLOSED

[Ryzan Vixtul]

*gasps, his eyes getting wide. He quickly places his hands over Tes'*
Wait! Stop! Wh... Why are you doing this?  

[ThisEmptySoul]

*Freezes in place and swallows hard* That's a good question.... *Clears his throat* "I... um.... it's been a while since... uh.... you know I haven't.... er.... I'm... I'm just...." *Coughs nervously* "Well.... this is what you've always wanted, isn't it? I don't see why you'd have a problem..." *Looks off to the side, knowing that he's starting to lose his nerve but tries not to show it* See!? You -always- back out. ALWAYS!  

[Ryzan Vixtul]

I.... I do... *shakes his head* ... I mean... it is. But... not like this. I... I wasn't even awake...

And why now?  

[ThisEmptySoul]

" 'Not like this'? You mean... like... a different position or something? I.. um... don't really know many for guys..." Idiot. "Vith... just... just forget I was even here..." *Zips his pants and climbs off the bed* "I knew I was just going to make an idiot of myself. I shouldn't have come in." *Goes to grab his shirt but doesn't remember where he threw it* "Where the hell is my shirt?" stressed  

[Ryzan Vixtul]

*pulls his pants back up and starts to button his shirt*
This is not something I can easily "just forget", dear Quortek. You did not even answer my question.  

[ThisEmptySoul]

*Groans and rubs his forehead* "This is just too awkward... I'll find my shirt later. Have a nice rest or something..." *Starts to head for the door*  

[Ryzan Vixtul]

No... no you don't. You are not avoiding me!
*almost leaps off the bed to get to Tes before he reaches the door and grabs his arm*

I want answers. Why did you come in here while I was sleeping? Why did you not wake me? Why were you... *blushes hard* ... why were you... doing those things... to me? I... I thought you were not interested in that sort of thing.....

*looks down and frowns, loosening his hold on Tes' arm*
.... or were you just not interested in me?  

[ThisEmptySoul]

*Facepalms* "This is what I meant by 'too awkward' " stare *Looks down at Ryzan, then lets out an exasperated sigh.* Might as well say something... *He wraps his arms around Ryzan and holds him close* "Believe me... it's not that. You're... um... you're.... actually... the -only- one.... I'm interested in... and it scares the shu out of me..." I can't believe I just said that...  

[Ryzan Vixtul]

*frowns and burries his face in Tes' chest*
... liar...

*bites his lower lip and tries not to cry*
This.... this is how you plan to make me go back, isn't it? It is just as you said... you would only keep hurting me...  

[ThisEmptySoul]

"tch... we both know you're never going to go back, R'zn. I... look, it doesn't matter if you want to believe me. I meant what I said. I can't be with anyone but you even if I wanted to. I just feel... guilty. I thought when I came here and was apart from you, that would eventually go away, but it didn't. And now that you're here..."

*Rests his head against Ryzan's* "... it's been a long time since I've been with anyone and I don't have a lot of options available. Even if I could get past the guilt, most of the people here are humans. There's no way I could have a relationship of meaning with one of them because they'd be dead long before I even started reaching advanced age. But you... I already have a long standing relationship with you. While I always considered you a friend throughout it... I... I don't think I could ever get this close to anyone else.... except maybe Draa..."  

[Ryzan Vixtul]

*giggles* I think Draa prefers women.
*takes a step back and looks up at Tes*

I do not want you to feel that you have to be with me because there is no one else. While I have always had a great desire to be with you in every meaning of the phrase, I... I want it to be because.... because you love me redface

*shakes his head, feeling a little silly*
I know that is too much to ask of you. Your tendencies are toward women...  

[ThisEmptySoul]

*Scratches the back of his head* ".... what if tendencies change?" *Keeps looking off to the side out of embarrassment, but tries to look into Ryzan's eyes while speaking so he knows he's speaking in earnest* "I never answered you. You asked 'why now'? The truth of the matter is... the desire might have been there all along. I just didn't want to accept it. It was a strange concept to me..." *Laughs slightly* "I mean... how many other guys kissed you when you first told them you were gay?"

*Holds Ryzan's cheeks* "It wasn't until the other day when I spoke from my subconscious that I started to think maybe... maybe I um.... I mean... I know I tried for your sake before, but... maybe the problem wasn't so much that it wasn't possible, but rather it isn't something you can force. I thought I had to force it..."  

[Ryzan Vixtul]

*blushes*
S.... So... you... you actually... love me? redface Is.... is that what you are saying? redface  

[ThisEmptySoul]

".... I believe it is..." *Tilts Ryzan's head up slightly and lightly kisses his lips*  

[Ryzan Vixtul]

redface *cuddles up in Tes' arms, nuzzling against his shoulder* This... this doesn't seem real... it's just... it's too sudden...

*hugs Tes tightly*
Perhaps... perhaps this should be given some time, yes? You said you have not been with anyone... it would be most unfortunate and devistating if these feeling you now profess are spoken from your desire to have companionship rather than a desire for me...

I have already waited so long... *hugs tighter* ... but I would wait a lifetime if I had to. I want it to be real...