Why did you divorce the person above you?

[BornToPlease]

Because she kept sneaking out in her party clothes at night.  

[Zero-The-Hunter 500]

I found out she was a stalker.  

[iiGLaDOS]

I found out he was a ninja... not a pirate  

[BornToPlease]

She kept trying to kill me.  

[Deathfrost]

I didn't she just disappears for a while... wink  

[Deadbeat Nightmare]

because he burnt down my house  

[Deathfrost]

Because she never came to my house so we always had to do it at hers... she said i live in a bad neighborhood... sad  

[Deadbeat Nightmare]

because he was secretly a keebler elf  

[Deathfrost]

because I found out where 'E.L. Fudge' really comes from... rofl  

[Deadbeat Nightmare]

because he legally changed his name into a symbol.  

[Deathfrost]

because she pulled the plug as I was dying in the hospital after laughing myself into a coma from reading her last statement... rofl  

[iiGLaDOS]

Because he didn't let me kill his brother...  

[Deadbeat Nightmare]

edit: because she believes the oxford comma is useless.  

[Zero-The-Hunter 500]

because all she wants is my soul,good think i have her pendant.  

[Deadbeat Nightmare]

because he believes I want his soul, a soul is useless without a body