|
|
| Should I give this thread a name? |
| Yes... and I've posted my suggestion on the last page. |
|
16% |
[ 42 ] |
| No... If it ain't broke... blah blah blah |
|
83% |
[ 208 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 250 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:10 pm
 |
|
|
 |
The Ant and the Grasshopper 2 Scenarios
Classic Version
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter; so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
Modern Version
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Americans stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, "Its Not Easy Being Green."
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi and John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs, and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug-related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders, who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be very very careful how you vote. |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 5:41 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:21 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:28 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:40 am
|
|
|
|
ATTITUDE MEANS EVERYTHING
There once was a woman who woke up one morning,
looked in the mirror, nd noticed she had only three hairs on her head.
Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today?" So she did and she had a wonderful day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.
"H-M-M," she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today?"
So she did and she had a grand day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.
"Well," she said, "today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.
"YEA!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"
Attitude is everything.
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly.......
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:42 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 11:09 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:17 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 11:03 am
|
|
|
|
Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mom:
I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Brian
Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie, I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if Stephanie was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mom
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 4:56 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:28 am
|
|
|
|
There's a story of a man that comes home from work to find his three children running around the front yard in their pj's. They've pulled up the landscaped flowers, they've dug holes with utensils from the kitchen drawer. The family dog is quite happily playing in the "water hole" that's been made from the running water coming out of the hose lying in the grass. The front door of the house is stood wide open, the living room looks as if they've been ransacked by robbers, or the cops had come in and "searched the premesis". There isn't one cushion in its right place, the magazines and newspapers are all ripped to shreds, looking like Times Square on New Year's Eve. He glances over to the kitchen, and wouldn't DARE step foot in it. As you can imagine, to say the least, looks like a bakery blew up. By now, he's getting really concerned about his loving wife, and his mind is running over all the different senerios that would have led to such disarray. He starts calling for his wife, and walking toward the bedroom. On the way, he passes the hall bathroom that has been flooded with bubble bath, and each child's bedroom looks worse than the next. His calls have become frantic, and he bursts through the master bedroom door, to find his loving wife, wrapped up in her best robe, lieing in the bed, reading one of her favorite books. He struggles to make words form in his mouth, and all he can get out is a whispered, "Whhhhaaaaatttt?" His loving wife and mother of his children looks up from her book, and says, "You know when you come home from work and ask me what I've done all day?" (He nodds)....................."Well......Today I didn't do it."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 6:59 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 8:13 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 8:37 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:26 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
