The Process of Writers Block

So,
Here I am,
Staring at the ******** cursor again
I sit at the computer, and I tell myself “Okay, it’s time to work.”
Because I’ve gotta write.
I have to get the words out.
Not only to keep what’s left of my sanity,
But to practice.
This is my career here.
But, like I’ve said countless times before:
These words don’t come like they used to.

I let my mind drift around
You know,
Get some inspiration and whatnot.
Put on some music and sing to my favourite songs
Jot down clever phrases that make their way into my head
Remember things that made me feel good… or bad.
Tap out a beat with my foot
Hope that something will get me rolling,
Get these hands typing,
Twitching over the keyboard in spasmodic relief,
My words flowing, ideas growing.
A sigh escapes my torn lips,
Glancing at the clock periodically to see that the hours are still going by.

I haven’t eaten in hours,
Instead fasted for these phrases and sentences.
My legs grow restless from misuse,
Eyes scan site after site of useless, endless procrastination
And all I want to do is sleep,
But I have to work.
I can’t stop,
You don’t understand.

I hunch my shoulders, defeated,
The thought “******** you” running all over my mind.
Once again, I failed to do something so simple,
And now all I can feel is anger, and hatred, and loathing
At my pitiful existence,
At my meaningless trials and constant let-downs.
I slap the keyboard and try to make sense of the jumbled consonants on the page,
And then… There!
The inspiration! What I’ve been waiting for all night long,
As it danced elusively beyond my fingertips,
Waiting for me to catch up!
And my quest is done!
I waited all night for this moment,
And now that it’s here,
I type madly.
Eyes watering from being open for too long,
Mouth and lips dry,
Knees aching from the cold
And suddenly craving some ice-cream,
It was all worth it.
And so,
Here I am,
And I've lived through another night of my plague, my work, my life, my love, my struggle,
My obsession, my confessions, my procrastinations,
My writers block.