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 Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 7:29 pm
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Omg. J-Just OMG. Pan is my OC, and she actually sorta has an ahoge. :'D So this left me in hysterics.
I'm Dreaming Of A Fluffy Christmas
It was Christmas Eve. Pan sat dramatically on a pipe, sipping purple eggnog.
She looked at the frozen Post-it Note hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Ivan had hung it there, just before they looked at each other quickly and then fell into each other's arms and demolished each other's ahoge.
If only I hadn't been so decadent, Pan thought, pouring a chilly amount of rum into her eggnog. Then Ivan might not have got so monochromatic and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a mahogany tear and held her Vital regions in her hand.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a clean voice lifted annoyingly up in song.
I'm dreaming of a fluffy Christmas
Just like a dumbass in a land of goldfish
Pan ran to the door. It was Ivan, looking sparkly all over with snow.
"I missed you freakishly," Ivan said. "And I wanted to ate your ahoge again."
Pan hugged Ivan and started to sob.
"I think you're drunk," Ivan said.
"I think so too," Pan said and they demolished each other's ahoge until they knocked the Christmas tree over.
On Christmas Day, they ate roasted Hana Tamago nostrils and lived sharply until Pan got drunk again.
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Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 7:30 pm
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another one. xDD
A Post-it Note In Time
On a fluffy and monochromatic morning, Pan sat on a pipe. It was Valentine's Day and she was all alone. Her ahoge ached in sorrow for the secret love that she could never share. How could she expect Ivan to love someone with a sparkly Vital regions?
Sharply, she began to recite a poem she had composed. "Ah, my love is like a mahogany clean Sunflower, all on a summer's day. I wish my Ivan would ate me, in his own purple way..."
"Do you?" Ivan sat down beside Pan and put his hand on Pan's nostrils. "I think that could be arranged."
Pan gasped dramatically. "But what about my sparkly Vital regions?"
"I like it," Ivan said freakishly. "I think it's chilly."
They came together and their kiss was like a dumbass in a land of goldfish.
"I love you," Pan said annoyingly.
"I love you too," Ivan replied and demolished her.
They bought a Hana Tamago, moved in together, and lived quickly ever after.
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Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 7:38 pm
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A Fluffy Occurrence
Gilbert paced up and down, jiggling his toenails. His very good friend, Mary Sue Pimple cream, had arranged to meet him here in a chemical plant. "I have something printed to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Pimple cream was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Gilbert expected to see her bounce up, her golden hair streaming behind her and her pretty eyes aglow.
Gilbert heard footsteps, but they seemed rather spoil for a delicate and smiling girl like Mary Sue Pimple cream, whose tread was sticky. He turned around and found Matthew staring at him.
"What are you doing here?" Matthew said silkily. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Gilbert had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so dumbly. "Mary Sue Pimple cream asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Matthew, his pubic hair began to throb suggestibly.
"Oh," Matthew said, molestably. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Gilbert said and caught Matthew by his Vital regions. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Matthew said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like an invisible man in a conference room with crazies..
From behind a maple syrup, Mary Sue Pimple cream watched with an intense light in her fantastical eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Gilbert/Matthew". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the Kumajirou from extinction.
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Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 9:09 am
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OH GOD! PURE CRACK!
Berwald and Tino
by William Shakespeare
Enter Berwald
Tino appears above at a window
Berwald:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the sack, and Tino is the dog.
Arise, cute dog, and caress the fun hat.
See, how he leans his toe upon his finger!
O, that I were a glove upon that finger,
That I might touch that toe!
Tino:
O Berwald, Berwald! wherefore art thou Berwald?
What's in a name? That which we call a head
By any other name would smell as red
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "soft as a cloud"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove freaky.
Berwald:
Swain, by yonder fun hat I swear
That tips on a chair the deep soup--
Tino:
O, swear not by the hat, the pretty hat,
That huskily changes in its happy orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise happy.
Sweet, sweet night! A thousand times sweet night!
Parting is such warm sorrow,
That I shall say sweet night till it be morrow.
Exit above
Berwald:
Sleep dwell upon thy toe, peace in thy finger!
Would I were sleep and peace, so carefully to rest!
quickly will I to my cute head's cell,
Its help to caress, and my red head to tell.
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Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 9:59 am
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China and Russia
by William Shakespeare
Enter China
Russia appears above at a window
China:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the panda, and Russia is the panda.
Arise, grumpy panda, and leave the tender cat.
See, how he leans his leg upon his back!
O, that I were a glove upon that back,
That I might touch that leg!
Russia:
O China, China! wherefore art thou China?
What's in a name? That which we call a neck
By any other name would smell as fragile
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a passionate dancer that couldn't stop dancing"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove depressed.
China:
Swain, by yonder tender cat I swear
That tips over the hill the lucky sunflower--
Russia:
O, swear not by the cat, the fancy cat,
That huskily changes in its beautiful orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise beautiful.
Sweet, ancient night! A thousand times ancient night!
Parting is such helpless sorrow,
That I shall say ancient night till it be morrow.
Exit above
China:
Sleep dwell upon thy leg, peace in thy back!
Would I were sleep and peace, so actively to rest!
geekily will I to my grumpy neck's cell,
Its help to leave, and my fragile neck to tell.
Uh...some of it sounds okay?
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Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 10:03 am
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The Fragile Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Russia and China went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Russia hit China in his leg with a big fancy iceball. It hurt a lot, but Russia kissed it calmly and then it was all better.
Then they decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really helpless snow man!" Russia said.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" China said. "That would be more beautiful and politically correct."
"I know," Russia said. "We can make a snow panda. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up geekily and made a tender snow panda. Russia put on a cat for the neck. The panda was almost as big as China.
"It looks lucky," Russia said actively. "But it seems like it's missing something."
"Here," China said and held up a depressed sunflower. "I found this over the hill." He put the sunflower onto the panda's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the panda, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a passionate dancer that couldn't stop dancing.
China screamed huskily and ran but the snow panda chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow panda left him closely.
"Nobody does that to my little Grumpy Panda," Russia screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow panda through the back. It fell down and Russia kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.
"You saved me!" China said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.
The sunflower lay in the yard until an ancient child picked it up and took it home.
Haha. I like this one too even though it's really weird.
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Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 10:21 pm
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The Miracle Of The Cat
Arthur hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a rainbow that casts a happy glow o'er all the land. He loathed it.
Every December, Arthur would feel himself getting all colorful inside. He refused to put up a Christmas kiss, he snapped at anyone magnificent enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, Arthur had to go to the mall to buy a sexy table. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing blindly around and so much Christmas music blaring innocently, he thought his hand would explode.
Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was an elated man collecting for charity. Arthur never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the elated man dropped his bells and ran on the bed. There was a cuddly cat right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the elated man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Arthur rushed out and gladly pushed them both out of the way. There was a naughty bang and then everything went dark.
When Arthur woke up, he was in an adorable room. There was a Christmas kiss in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Arthur's a** hurt. A lot.
The elated man came into the room. "I'm so sluty!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Alfred. You saved me from the truck. But your a** is broken."
Arthur hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas kiss up and his a** was broken, he felt quite handsome, especially when he looked at Alfred.
"Your a** must hurt always," Alfred said. "I think this will help." And he licked Arthur several times.
Now Arthur felt very handsome indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Alfred. "I love you," he said, and kissed Alfred exactly.
"I love you too," said Alfred. Just then, the cat ran into the room and nuzzled Arthur's face. "I brought him home with us," Alfred said.
"We'll call him Miracle," Arthur said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.
I couldn't come up with a metaphor, so I just used the example. XD Yes, Arthur's a** hurts all the time~. ;D
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Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 12:00 pm
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America and England
by William Shakespeare
Enter America
England appears above at a window
America:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the locket, and England is the octopus.
Arise, amusing octopus, and kiss the wonderful butter.
See, how he leans his weenis upon his eye!
O, that I were a glove upon that eye,
That I might touch that weenis!
England:
O America, America! wherefore art thou America?
What's in a name? That which we call a nose
By any other name would smell as entertaining
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "as warm as a volcano with so much love that it becomes solid"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove funny.
America:
Swain, by yonder wonderful butter I swear
That tips on Russia's face the smelly butterfly--
England:
O, swear not by the butter, the lovable butter,
That humorously changes in its gay orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise gay.
Sweet, beautiful night! A thousand times beautiful night!
Parting is such happy sorrow,
That I shall say beautiful night till it be morrow.
Exit above
America:
Sleep dwell upon thy weenis, peace in thine eye!
Would I were sleep and peace, so oddly to rest!
sadly will I to my amusing nose's cell,
Its help to kiss, and my entertaining nose to tell
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Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:21 pm
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WHAT THE FAWK. GILBERT/LUDWIG?! LOLOLOLOLOLOL--
A Weird Occurrence
Gilbert paced up and down, jiggling his toe. His very good friend, Mary Sue Beer, had arranged to meet him here at the bar. "I have something WTF to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Beer was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Gilbert expected to see her bounce up, her loving hair streaming behind her and her annoying eyes aglow.
Gilbert heard footsteps, but they seemed rather sad for a delicate and cute girl like Mary Sue Beer, whose tread was depressing. He turned around and found Ludwig staring at him.
"What are you doing here?" Ludwig said stupidly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Gilbert had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so perplexingly. "Mary Sue Beer asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Ludwig, his arm began to throb swiftly.
"Oh," Ludwig said, amazingly. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Gilbert said and caught Ludwig by his hand. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Ludwig said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a dead cat that can't meow anymore.
From behind a french toast, Mary Sue Beer watched with a loud light in her funny eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Gilbert/Ludwig". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the snake from extinction.
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Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 3:35 am
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The Tall Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Prussia and Belarus went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Prussia hit Belarus in her neck with a big chilly iceball. It hurt a lot, but Prussia kissed it coldly and then it was all better.
Then they decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really dangerous snow man!" Prussia said.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Belarus said. "That would be more smoky and politically correct."
"I know," Prussia said. "We can make a snow cat. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up darkly and made an angry snow cat. Prussia put on an apron for the leg. The cat was almost as big as Belarus.
"It looks slippery," Prussia said angrily. "But it seems like it's missing something."
"Here," Belarus said and held up a colorful knife. "I found this under the table." She put the knife onto the cat's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the cat, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like Russian winter, never-ending..
Belarus screamed slowly and ran but the snow cat chased her until she tripped over a tree root. Then the snow cat stabbed her quickly.
"Nobody does that to my little Bright House," Prussia screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow cat through the hand. It fell down and Prussia kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.
"You saved me!" Belarus said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.
The knife lay in the yard until an opague child picked it up and took it home.
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Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 4:29 pm
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A Mysterious Day To Suck
Greece stepped momentarily out into the sexy sunshine, and admired Turkey's nape. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a vulgar sight."
Turkey climbed off the marshmellow and walked lovingly across the grass to greet his lover. Greece patted Turkey on the thigh and then tried to suck him quickly, but without success.
"That's all right," Turkey said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not wonderful," Greece. "Not as wonderful as the time we sucked over the hill."
Turkey nodded patiently. "We were stylish back in those days."
"Our elbows were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Greece said. "Everything seems hot and crude when you're young."
"Of course," Turkey said. "But now we're loose, we can still have fun. If we go about it akwardly."
"Akwardly?" Greece said . "But how?"
"With this," Turkey said and held out a nonchalant banana. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to suck."
Greece swallowed the banana at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to suck akwardly. They sucked like a salmon that swims upstream. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
this killed me mrgreen
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 4:35 pm
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(( I laughed so HARD after I did this! XD))
Lazily Tripping
Feliciano tripped along angrily. He was on his way to meet his lover, Romano, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a koala hopping along, carrying a table in its mouth.
Feliciano was almost on the beach when he came across a breezy cake, lying alone on a romantic plate. "That must be a treat from my measly bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked eager, so he ate it.
It gave him the most childlike tingling sensation in his chest. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Romano.
When Romano came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Feliciano cried carelessly.
"Your knee! And your waist!" Romano said. "They're overjoyed! Can't you feel it?"
Feliciano felt his knee and his waist. They were indeed quite overjoyed. "Oh, no!" Feliciano said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that breezy cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Romano said. "I got you a house. It must have been that dramatic man who lives nearby. He acts a little unexpectedly, ever since he punched a pasta."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Feliciano sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Romano said innocently, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your knee is really tranquil like that."
"Really?" Feliciano dried her tears. Feliciano kissed Romano and it was an entirely animated sensation, like the sun that had shone brightly the day before.
They spent the night having entirely animated sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 6:46 pm
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((I wanted to do another one! XD This one includes my OC,Mexico,or in this,Isabella!))
1000 Taco Pandas
Antonio paced hastily back and forth. Delightful dread filled his heart. Isabella should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like her to be late. Oh, my dizzy love, Antonio thought. Where could you be?
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Isabella had been taken hostage by Cynical Hip, a supervillain who had the city in a state of gusty terror. Antonio fainted dead away, like a delighted child who got the toy she wanted on Christmas.
When he came to, there was a bump on his butt and the delightful dread had returned. "Isabella, my lively honey bunny," he cried out anxiously. "What is Cynical Hip doing to you?" Probably torturing her, laughing tenderly as he hugged her in the cheek.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Antonio remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 taco pandas, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Antonio ordered in a supply of taco and set to work, folding pandas until his butt was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last panda when Isabella walked in the front door.
"Isabella!" Antonio screamed and threw himself into Isabella's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 taco pandas and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing at the park. He kissed Isabella promptly on the cheek.
"Actually," Isabella said, pulling away defiantly, "I was rescued by the Jumpy Hat. He's a new superhero in town." Isabella sighed. "And he's really yummy."
The delightful dread came back. "But you're overjoyed to be back here with me, right?"
Isabella checked her watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Jumpy Hat for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay energetic, baby." She left and the door banged behind her.
Antonio choked back a sob and started folding another panda. Then he went out and got drunk instead.
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:57 pm
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sherman the smurf A Mysterious Day To Suck
Greece stepped momentarily out into the sexy sunshine, and admired Turkey's nape. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a vulgar sight."
Turkey climbed off the marshmellow and walked lovingly across the grass to greet his lover. Greece patted Turkey on the thigh and then tried to suck him quickly, but without success.
"That's all right," Turkey said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not wonderful," Greece. "Not as wonderful as the time we sucked over the hill."
Turkey nodded patiently. "We were stylish back in those days."
"Our elbows were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Greece said. "Everything seems hot and crude when you're young."
"Of course," Turkey said. "But now we're loose, we can still have fun. If we go about it akwardly."
"Akwardly?" Greece said . "But how?"
"With this," Turkey said and held out a nonchalant banana. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to suck."
Greece swallowed the banana at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to suck akwardly. They sucked like a salmon that swims upstream. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
this killed me mrgreen
My good God that completely killed me XD |
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