Feels like such an idiot...

[The Last Chase]

Yeah... it makes sense. I've been thinking about that since I broke up with my last boyfriend. It's seriously hard, it's not like riding a bike lol. I have never been single for very long, the longest was... a year, maybe... I used to be a different person, I used to be a lot stronger on my own, and more independent. It's been a long while though...
How pathetic is that? sweatdrop  

[Fushigi na Butterfly]

It's not pathetic. It's an unfortunate trend of our society, I think, that people feel the need to validate themselves through having a significant other, instead of finding some internal way of making themselves feel comfortable with who and where they are. It takes practice, and if you're serious about it, you'll get the hang of it. 3nodding  

[The Last Chase]

There are a few things I dislike about myself. But as for where I am... well I hate it lol.
I'm in a state I can't stand, I don't really fit in and I was born and raised here. I've worked at the same place for four years and they treat me like s**t, as do the customers.
I've actually been pondering the thought of running off and joining the Sea Sheperds to do something worthwhile.
I guess being with a guy makes me feel a little more needed...
Sucks when you feel like you have nothing to be proud of.  

[Fushigi na Butterfly]

Might be time to start saving your pennies and make that runaway dream come true. It's not impossible. If you feel you have nothing to be proud of, do something. Find something you enjoy and/or something you're good at, and work on it. Even small things on a day-to-day basis can bring some sense of pride. Like helping a customer who really did need your help, or replying back to someone with a really clever retort. It's all a matter of how much work you're willing to put towards your own happiness.  

[The Last Chase]

I want to go, but I just got management at work and I'm also trying to find an apartment with one of my friends. I'd be gone for months at a time... Kinda hard to put a life in motion at a stand still.
And as for work, like I said, I've been there four years, there's nothing good about it anymore.  

[Shinigami Unity]

I don't think there's anything pathetic about having a hard time being single again. It is hard - and for a long time, it kinda sucks.

But I think it's worth it. I think getting back on your feet and learning to love just you will make it better when you're ready for a relationship. What's the point of living life if you're not really living it?

I used to blame so much of my own shortcomings on who I was dating. Now that I live by myself - it's my own damn fault if my apartment is a mess.

Good luck and keep your chin up.  

[Fushigi na Butterfly]

The Last Chase

I want to go, but I just got management at work and I'm also trying to find an apartment with one of my friends. I'd be gone for months at a time... Kinda hard to put a life in motion at a stand still.
And as for work, like I said, I've been there four years, there's nothing good about it anymore.

Well, everything in its time, of course. You have to do things in order and plan a little bit. I'm working towards getting an apartment with a friend as well, which is something I wanted to do about a year ago, but didn't have the financial resources for. But I was patient, and it'll finally happen in the next few months, if we're lucky. If we're not lucky, oh well; we'll keep the dream and keep working towards it. Having an eventual goal is one way to keep yourself motivated, and each step you accomplish on your way to your final destination is definitely something to be proud of. 3nodding  

[The Last Chase]

I just feel so overwhelmed right now. I feel like I'm supposed to know where I'm going and what I'm doing, but I have no clue. Everything is going in a hundred million different directions.
xp
eek
xp
eek
sweatdrop  

[lady ayami chan]

just breath sweetie.
I like you, I have dealt with the horrors of such a thing before.
You are not alone in this ocean of emotion. ^_^
There are so many people that can offer you a kind word here and they all have great advice.
Here is mine to you - Love does not usually spark when you are looking for it or want it, usually it just happens when you are completely clueless about it. You'll find the one, you'll find the best one! Don't even convince yourself to settle for less than what you are truly worth. Happiness is a very delicate and particular emotion, you need to nurture it just right. Take some time to find your happiness independent of another person then I think you will see that things become less turbulent.
if you ever need to talk I'm happy to offer anything I can.
Just to let you know, not all guys act the way that the guys you have known have treated you - I swear there are truth tellers and lovers out there!
^_^
best of luck.
4laugh