Operation Shirley Temple

[iTootsie]

Well. I know that I don't want to save it for marriage.

And yes, I'll just go out and say that I want to have some good hard sex before I settle down and sleep with the same person for the rest of my life. Does this mean my goal is to have 200 partners and throw a "p***s Party" (guy at my work is throwing one)? No, it doesn't.

Sure, 17 is young, but no one can garuntee I find someone super special before I- oh, I don't know- DIE.
I don't want to die a virgin. Even an 18-year-old one.


Sex is, to me, some amazingly fun, slightly dangerous (which is kind of my style anyways) activity which doesn't require maturity (hey, I have it) at all; but doing it with maturity makes it even better.
So, I'd rather start now..ish.


Maybe it has something to do with me growing up with the "rights" and "wrongs"
pressed down on me super hard, maybe not.

Consider the song "My First Kiss" by 3OH!3.

"She won't ever get enough,
Once she gets a little touch."

-Maybe not a nympohmaniac, but I will like sex.
I know I will. I know myself enough to know that the mental, emotional and physical properties of inevitably be something I enjoy. Why not start likin' it sooner?

I am pretty hypocritical, with what I said to Renard and now saying I will sleep with Jacob and leave.
But he's a teenage boy.
Our sex drives are pretty much the same.
And I know he's a humungous flirt.
And he's not a virgin... 90% sure.
If he goes for it, I have very little self-control.


OH YEAH HEY

Today my other friend and I were eating at Applebee's.
Yes. I ordered a Shirley Temple. Chugged three of them.
And yes. I took provocative pictures with the cherry.

Anyways, I was signing the Merchent Copy of the reciept.
And a very old guy (kind of scary lookin') came up to our table, leaned in pretty close to my face and said,

"Excuse me, miss. I'm sorry to bother you,
but you are a very beautiful young woman."

Then he smiled. I said thank you, doing this one laugh-smile of mine.
Then he walked away back to these two old ladies, also smiling at me.
I was creeped out and started laughing into my fries when they were no longer looking.
Then I got to the car and thought- "Woah."

Never happened before.
And ironic, since I've been feeling so damn unwanted and unattractive.
But hey, he was at least 70. Eyes can't be that good, right? Haha.

AndomgsomebodylovesmeYAY

 

[diffun]

i can't tell if you're trying to justify this to those who have said they think it's a bad idea, or to yourself.

to be honest, i ( personally ) think that the way you're going about it cheapens it.

 

[iTootsie]

I just want it. Or don't. Whichever.
I don't like waiting for things I just want.

For myself I never held it to be priceless.
Or any kind of price.
It's all up to the individual, right?

If my virginity being lost makes someone else's a little less special,
that's an entirely different problem.

 

[diffun]

it reminds me of the whole "he's 'the devirginator'" situation in various movies and television shows

i've never thought it was something overly special either, but i think this seems a bit of a ... i can't even find the proper word without sounding cruel.

of course, that's a personal opinion, and it's a discussion guild, right?

you can do what you wish with your body, you may want to remember that there's someone else who has a say in this (presumably), and think about their feelings too.

 

[PainfullyVivid]

If you feel you are ready and want to sleep around some, then do so as long as you know what you're getting into and practice safe sex.

I don't think everyone is completely saying that you can't or shouldn't do what you want with your body. I know my disapproval of your plan wasn't really rooted in the fact that you wanted to have sex at 17. That'd be stupid since I don't care that some of my friends aren't virgins. My issue, and maybe others, was more the fact that the motivation behind you losing your virginity wasn't the pleasure or experience of it, but rather just to get rid of it in this self-imposed deadline with little to no regard for these guys you made a list about. I would rather someone want to have sex to have sex, not because they feel they need to get rid of it before college or else they'll lose it in drunken sex or because they are impatient to have the experience over. The desire to just get rid of ones virginity only, to me, cheapens the sex. It's no longer about two people finding pleasure (and maybe connecting) in a mutual relationship, but a calculated move to use someone to get rid of some perceived burden that may have some bonus pleasure on the side. I think the motivation and intent is all the difference.

At this point, I'm not sure what your motivation is because it's changed within a few posts. So, maybe just sit and think about it a little and make sure that your intentions steam from a genuine desire to have sex and not just wanting to go bat s**t crazy after growing up in a strict household.

Though you don't rush it so much. You don't have to wait years and years, but at least give yourself some time to find the person you feel is right at the right time, whether it is your first serious relationship (regardless of if it lasts or not) or a fling with a guy who understands you just want sex out of the deal.

As long as you know what you want clearly and aren't just making decisions impulsively, I see no problem with fun, safe, consenting sex.

Though, I'd like to say that you probably have a higher chance of not dying than you do right now.  

[Renard Muldrake]

Wow, buh. This made me think thoughts, about words. And concepts. I need an ice pack for my head.

Anyway, I don't think this is a super good idea. Do you really know why you want to do this? Is it just to lose your virginity, or is there more to it?
And like everyone's said, what's the concern with losing it so soon, I can vouch for the fact that doin' it young's not all it's cracked up to be, probably more trouble than it's worth, & don't go into it thinking it's gonna be some amazing experience, because the first time sucks, I don't know next to anyone who couldn't tell ya that. It's awkward, confusing, anticlimactic, & underwhelming.
Some of my biggest concerns are in regards to this Jacob guy though. You say he really cares about you, but you're willing do that to him, "hit it, & quit it" as the kids say? That's not cool, Dris is right, guys are twats, & we're empty headed, but we've got a feeling or two, & usually they're both hunger, but that doesn't mean we aren't easily hurt. If this guy has feelings for you, & you ******** him, & then toss him aside, (which sounds meaner than it was meant to) that will wreck him. Believe me, I can vouch for that.

Pain has a good point too, you didn't seem very comfortable with your sexuality, or sexuality in general less than a few days ago, it's not in your best interests to rush into something like this unless you really think you're ready for it.

In the end it's your body, your feelings, & it's your choice. But you need to remember that whoever it happens with has their feelings on the line too. Put thought into it before you do it, & for God's sake practice safe sex.
And I understand this might be counterproductive, but anyway who gets hot, & bothered by history's my kinda woman.
 

[Jyu]

iTootsie

And yes, I'll just go out and say that I want to have some good hard sex before I settle down and sleep with the same person for the rest of my life. Does this mean my goal is to have 200 partners and throw a "p***s Party" (guy at my work is throwing one)? No, it doesn't.

You can still be sexually active and experiment without throwing people's feelings under the bus. No one in this thread is saying that you must find one person and sleep with them forever. Part of growing up is forming different relationships, being sexually active/intimate, etc. We're only saying (for the most part) that it's a bad idea to use somebody a month before you leave for college just so you can get rid of your virginity. Personal responsibility goes a long way in ensuring that you don't lose it drunk at a party somewhere at college.

I've been in your situation. I regret losing my virginity when I did - it was a horrible, awkward experience that, much like you, I did just because I wanted to be rid of it. Even though I'm over it now, I would have at least preferred to wait until I was in a caring and committed relationship before doing so.

That's all I'm going to say in this thread, I think.  

[Szen]

PainfullyVivid

... and not just wanting to go bat s**t crazy after growing up in a strict household.

This is the feeling I'm getting, to be honest. Because people who are repressed tend to go fly off to the extreme. See the secret lives of political conservatives. lol

I remember talking to this girl once at a party who went to a church that I think was an off-shoot of Mormon... Church of Christ or something. She wouldn't participate in anything with everyone else, because it was against her religion to even drink soda and dance, apparently. o_O
Sometime later in the night she was saying that if it wasn't for church, she would be a slut. I was like, really? o_O I'm an atheist and I have no trouble restraining myself from having sex with everyone I found remotely attractive.

As usual, I agree with Pain. XD I don't give a damn if other people have meaningless sex. I don't think better or worse of them for it. I just don't understand why it's such a big deal either way. Do what feels right either way. Just be responsible about it. And regarding Jacob, just make sure he knows exactly what you're doing up front. It might still hurt him if he really does care about you, but at least you'd be honest.  

[scrub]

Go on the pill as well as using rubbers >_>  

[Renard Muldrake]

scrub

Go on the pill as well as using rubbers >_>

This. Very much this.  

[teh sexiful nerdy]

Disclaimer: I only read a few of the replies so forgive me if I repeat something.

First of all, I live in Washington and if you're going to WSU you'll have plenty of opportunities for drunken sex, Pullman is an entire party TOWN.

Second: You really don't seem emotionally ready and if you don't want your first time to be with a drunk stranger; DON'T DRINK, STUPID. Sorry if it's harsh but it's freaking true.

Third: If you're genuinely concerned about being raped, get on the pill and be cautious in party situations. I went to Disney World in College Program last year and before I left I started BC just in case so I wouldn't end up pregnant. I wasn't raped (but I didn't party much) but it was still a good idea.

Fourth: If you care about that guy he probably cares about you and this might sound sappy but you should have more respect for him and for yourself than to use him like this. When you have sex with someone you really do give a part of yourself to them and you can never get that part of yourself back.


I think you should reconsider this whole situation and your decision in general and really re-evalute it. I think this sounds like the plot of a bad teen movie and I'm afraid that you will regret this decision horribly. I'd hate to see someone, anyone, do something so irreversible like this.

(and about the hawaii thing: islanders for the most part hate outsiders of any kind. It's just a fact. I may be going there for college in the next year or so.)

EDIT: Also, not everyone's first time sucks. though, maybe it's just me... I had a good bit of fun BUT my first time was in response to an unformal challenge from a guy I was dating in Florida. I won the challenge, btw.

 

[iTootsie]

@ghetto: Haha, it does sound like one of those, for sure.

@Pain: I do feel behind. Yes, most of my friends are now sexually active adults. And why they look at me no differently, I see myself differently. It's definitely somehting I created in my own mind.

@Renard: I wouldn't do that.
I need a man I know super well, and knows me super well.
And likes me while knowing all these things.
And someone who appreciates my love of History, fer shur.

@Jyu: So waiting for a relationship isn't just it?
Is there a magical place I can go to to find one of my own little romance stories???

@Szen: That chick was probably F(undemental)LDS of came from an extreme Mormon family.

@scrub: eek This is all it took to scare me.
I do not want to be purchasing either.
That would be too embarrassing for me.
You've scared me into a Convent. eek
HAHAHAHHA

@sexiful: I would like to try a party scene once, after I get some homegirls to back me up and watch my back (repetative?). And I will try as much as I can to keep the sexy time from occuring with any intoxicated party, near any sort of intoxicated group, or under the influence of too-loud music.
biggrin

Okay, I have been pretty wishy-washy.

I want to have sex,
because it's mature. (typically)
it is pleasure,
it is a stress-reliever...
Blahdy blah blah.

I grew up interested by it,
in books, on TV.
Not just Nora Roberts and American Pie,
but documentaries and the like.

I guess it's because I look at my past and figure my future can't be much different-
like I may not have a boyfriend for a very long time if ever, ya know?
I'm a really impatient person in general.

I suppose I could wait.

I'm getting pretty bored, though.

xd

That, and:

Jacob
Girlfriended.

 

[AquilaLiberum]

I think that making a list of guys that you could lose your virginity with is a bad idea. I agree with Pain in that as long as you are fully aware of the consequences, there's nothing wrong with safe sex.
However, I'll give you a laugh. If you think 17 is too old to be a virgin, think of those among us who are nearly 21 -points at self-
I'll admit here and now that I'm getting really antsy about having sex and want to start soon. And as hard as that is, I'm still not going to lose my virginity to some random. 2 of my friends started going out, neither of them had been in a relationship before and both were virgins. They were really head over heels for each other and their first time was meant to be awesome. I want mine to be like that. And the waiting's hard, but I'm gonna do it.

~Nya-ha!~
blaugh

 

[iTootsie]

Well, I'll wait with you.

We can be wait buddies.

But I cave a lot.

And typically suck in those around me into the gaping abyss of fantasy and erotic imagination which is my world.

So...

cheese_whine Here's to waiting! cheese_whine

Haha.

 

[PainfullyVivid]

There are a lot of things that you can do to make your future not as strict and boring as your past. x3; Going to college is usually a great way to be able to live somewhat independently and make your own decisions. You're in an environment that you can be yourself and start acting like you want as long as you try.
You can still go to parties, flirt with boys, play some strip poker or one of the many strip car games, and just have fun. I'm not sure if that's "mature" in the way you view sex as, but it's a step into being less inhibited with sexuality and everything.
Depending on how many classes you have, you'll probably have a bit of free time while you are doing general courses to just run around. I still had plenty of time to mess around with friends taking 5 classes, two of which were 2 hours and 45 minutes long twice a week. o: