Gay Parenting

[demon strait outta_hell]

some of my best friends were raised by couples of the same gender.

signed My ex bf called his parents Daddy James and Daddy ((crap I cant remember his other dads name O_O)) I think it was Sebastain...  

[cgirl360]

I have a friend who has two moms. Growing up, we all assumed one was her birth mom and one was her adoptive mom and they just lived together because her birth mom couldn't take care of her and got back in contact with her. It made sense at the time (even though she was Chinese and neither of her mother were, no on questioned it.) As we grew up and discovered things weren't like that, we all were a bit alienated by it for a little bit but we all never stopped loving her. In some small towns, you either shun the different, or stick together despite our differences because we all grew up together. *shrugs* We'd bully kids from other states more than if you were gay and we'd all eventually gang up on bullies once we figured out that the person was okay. I think it really depends on where you raise them.

Hope it helps, rambling and all.  

[OceaNova]

When I classified as gay male, I always thought when (and if) I have kids, I would be Dad and my partner would be Papa. Since, I've come out as transgender and took the steps preserving my sperm in case I want children in the future.

It's difficult though, because my partner and I have been talking about kids, and since chimerism isn't yet possible with two sperm, he wants to adopt. I thought maybe if we could get a surrogate mother, she could bear two children for us: one with mine and one with his. Is that weird? There is chance for a lot of issues and complexes with that, but I don't think it would get out of control...And I wouldn't mind adoption, but I don't want to pay $300/year to keep a specimen that I'll never use.  

[Icy the Cat-]

Just a question, how can two girls or two guys have kids..? Adopt?  

[Lady Kayura]

Crystal Ice23

Just a question, how can two girls or two guys have kids..? Adopt?

Adoption and surrogates.  

[Icy the Cat-]

Lady Kayura

Crystal Ice23

Just a question, how can two girls or two guys have kids..? Adopt?

Adoption and surrogates.

Ok.. thx.  

[Lady Kayura]

Crystal Ice23

Lady Kayura

Crystal Ice23

Just a question, how can two girls or two guys have kids..? Adopt?

Adoption and surrogates.

Ok.. thx.

And let's not forget that with the help of a donor, lesbian mothers could give birth to their own children.  

[BSPBleach]

I've taken care of a lot of kids(none my own) and I can tell you this. Nearly every kid will be bullied at some point in their lives over something. I think the important part of a child being bullied is for both parents to be supportive and teach them about bullies and confidence, and that you are best how you are and nothing anyone says can change that.

About the pronouns/titles, that's up to you guys. A lot of times though the kids pick too. My little brother calls me Noni and his mother Momi and uses them as the same like meaning. I'm not entirely sure titles matter as there are kids who don't use titles at all, just names(lol or slurrs of)  

[BSPBleach]

OceaNova

When I classified as gay male, I always thought when (and if) I have kids, I would be Dad and my partner would be Papa. Since, I've come out as transgender and took the steps preserving my sperm in case I want children in the future.

It's difficult though, because my partner and I have been talking about kids, and since chimerism isn't yet possible with two sperm, he wants to adopt. I thought maybe if we could get a surrogate mother, she could bear two children for us: one with mine and one with his. Is that weird? There is chance for a lot of issues and complexes with that, but I don't think it would get out of control...And I wouldn't mind adoption, but I don't want to pay $300/year to keep a specimen that I'll never use.

I don't it'd be weird at all. And i'm not sure what issues you mean. Genetic wise it'd just be like step-sibilings. As long as the surrogate isn't like somehow your niece. But then again you'd have other issues xd
I think it's a great idea to have two kids, one with each. No playing favourites razz  

[Art Greylace]

If it's absolutely horrible where you live, you could move someplace more accepting. But BSPBleach is right- kids are bullies. My parents were completely normal, even on the extra-supportive, extra-attention, extra-accepting side. I was still the kid everyone picked on, but I didn't care. Why? Because I had a wonderful family that taught me anyone stupid enough to be a bully wasn't worth listening to. It's more important to be confident than any of the details about your life.

Also, it's good to adopt. There are so many kids who don't have parents, why make more? Particularly if it isn't with your partner anyhow.  

[OceaNova]

BSPBleach

OceaNova

When I classified as gay male, I always thought when (and if) I have kids, I would be Dad and my partner would be Papa. Since, I've come out as transgender and took the steps preserving my sperm in case I want children in the future.

It's difficult though, because my partner and I have been talking about kids, and since chimerism isn't yet possible with two sperm, he wants to adopt. I thought maybe if we could get a surrogate mother, she could bear two children for us: one with mine and one with his. Is that weird? There is chance for a lot of issues and complexes with that, but I don't think it would get out of control...And I wouldn't mind adoption, but I don't want to pay $300/year to keep a specimen that I'll never use.

I don't it'd be weird at all. And i'm not sure what issues you mean. Genetic wise it'd just be like step-sibilings. As long as the surrogate isn't like somehow your niece. But then again you'd have other issues xd
I think it's a great idea to have two kids, one with each. No playing favourites razz

Thank you! What I mean by issues would be like playing favourites...I couldn't imagine myself doing so, but what if the kids get older and use that against us? I don't know...but yeah, I refuse to use any family member as a surrogate, ha ha ha! THAT would lead to some trouble rofl  

[BSPBleach]

OceaNova

BSPBleach

OceaNova

When I classified as gay male, I always thought when (and if) I have kids, I would be Dad and my partner would be Papa. Since, I've come out as transgender and took the steps preserving my sperm in case I want children in the future.

It's difficult though, because my partner and I have been talking about kids, and since chimerism isn't yet possible with two sperm, he wants to adopt. I thought maybe if we could get a surrogate mother, she could bear two children for us: one with mine and one with his. Is that weird? There is chance for a lot of issues and complexes with that, but I don't think it would get out of control...And I wouldn't mind adoption, but I don't want to pay $300/year to keep a specimen that I'll never use.

I don't it'd be weird at all. And i'm not sure what issues you mean. Genetic wise it'd just be like step-sibilings. As long as the surrogate isn't like somehow your niece. But then again you'd have other issues xd
I think it's a great idea to have two kids, one with each. No playing favourites razz

Thank you! What I mean by issues would be like playing favourites...I couldn't imagine myself doing so, but what if the kids get older and use that against us? I don't know...but yeah, I refuse to use any family member as a surrogate, ha ha ha! THAT would lead to some trouble rofl

Lol yeah. And kids will start using favourites against you no matter what bout the ages of 8-12. If the issue is sorted it stops. Or keeps going until they realize that's totally stupid and unfair even if it is true.
I was thinking a way to be sure no favourites were played were to get two surrogates and not know which is which but that really wouldn't work.....
Sorry I don't have any advice to handle favourites. My brother used it on me all the time growing up so I'm immune to it, and no matter what my brother and i did(we're twins) our parents never addressed the issue. But I'm sure if you emphasize that you love them both, and they're treated differently beacuse they're different people, it should be fine biggrin  

[PeachPunk]

Bullying is just going to happen no matter what your circumstance. If you and your family move to a more accepting place (like Boston [biased because I live there razz ]) than where you're living now, things should get better.
And for the names, it really doesn't matter. Let them call you whatever they want to call you. My cousins call our grandparents Mumsie and Pop, but my siblings and I call them Grammy and Grandpa, but they're still our grandparents.  

[Yoseisame]

I agree with the Sunshine Peach-Heart. Bullying is going to happen anyway, it is next to impossible to prevent. Even people in 'normal' families get bullied. The best thing you can do is be supportive. If you think that where you live might be a problem, then live somewhere else.
As for names, there are tons of names that you can use. You can pick a language that you like or some kind nickname that you like.  

[The Bodacious Soul Reaper]

I'm glad you strive to become a parent ^_^
I've come across that thought as well though. But theres a difference between having a disease and having children, to having children and them having two fathers. With a disease, you have an actual chance of them having the disease, then you would know if they had it, they for a fact would suffer.
While with having two fathers, you would raise your children to stand up for themselves, and not take bullying. Even if they did, you would be there for them. Every person on this earth, no matter how much they deny it, has gotten bullied in some kind of way. Some worse than others of course, but you shouldn't avoid having children simply because you fear they would be bullied. A child would be bullied either way, but if you would like to be more cautious with it, raise them to stick up for themselves, or simply ignoring bullying.
With the names, one of you could be called "Papa" and the other "Dad" or "Dad" and "Daddy", just different ways to say father. I have a friend who has two men as fathers, and he calls them "Pops" and "Gramps" now that he's older, but when he was little he said he'd call them "Poppy" and "Dad".
This was long, sorry! ^_^'''