[1 v 1] The Morning After (Alex and Yin)

[ramenli]

For once in his life Yin wished he was a ghoul. Being a ghoul had been easier. There were so many emotions that he could choose from, and everything had been so open and out there and even though it had been awful and one of the worst things that had ever happened to him...maybe it would have helped make sense of all of this.

Nothing made any sense. He had forgotten a study session. He had made Alexander worry. Those were bad but nothing unreasonable. But nothing had ever frightened him as much as the completely uncaring look that Alexander had had as he had leaned in to bite him. Not even dissipating. A shudder racked his body as his mind recalled the teeth ghosting over him.

But as terrified as he was he did not want to lose the zomboil, which was what made this even more difficult. If he just attacked or ran away or stood there as Alexander did he knew he would lose him.

Nothing made sense anymore.

A million thoughts seemed to run through his head, so many that he had no idea where to start and his mind just felt...blank. Any words that he could think of just stayed stuck in his throat. He took a step forward and hesitated, his instincts telling him to get as far away from the zomboil as he could. Everything seemed to be dragging on for forever.

He had to say something. Anything. Distraction. Change the subject. Talk about it. Ask about the weather. Ask if he really smelled that delicious. Compliment his tie. Tell him that he scared you. Apologize. Demand an apology. Nothing fit. Nothing worked at all so he just latched onto and idea and blurted it out so that it would not be so silent. His voice was shaky and hoarse, but at least it was audible. "So I guess you did not really need my training after all..." He attempted a laugh but it choked in his throat and he just fell silent.

Stupid. That was stupid.  

[Seussi]

Alex's body was trembling faintly, so faintly it would likely not be noticeable to anybody but himself. He could see Yin's shudder though, he could see the way the weremantis had begun to approach him, then stopped. Yin didn't have to tell Alex that he had scared him, because he could still smell the fear, he could still practically taste it.

He was just about ready to push himself up and leave. Leaving would be the best thing he could do for both of them at this point. He could just leave, and try and stay out of Yin's life, and stay the hell out of the other boils business. He could do that at least, right? So why did it hurt so damned much to even consider doing it? Why did it leave him with such an empty feeling in his chest?

He was going to do it, he was going to leave, and then Yin spoke, and Alex winced at the sound. He made Yin sound like that, he had done something horrible and now his best friend was afraid of him, and could barely speak to him in a comprehensible voice. The attempt at laughter afterwards just drove the dagger home for Alex, and while he had hesitated in rising, he now pushed himself completely to his feet.

"Don't Yin...You don't have to.." His voice trailed off. It was hard enough trying to talk around that lump in his throat anyways. Alex didn't need training? Ha! If anything this just proved how badly he needed it. If he couldn't keep control of himself, he was more dangerous then any good. But could he possibly explain that to Yin? Would it even make sense to the weremantis? He looked at Yin, and his gaze was full of pain at what he had done. "Only if you don't want to train me anymore."  

[ramenli]

It appeared as if the zomboil was determined to make this Yin's decision. It would be simple. Just look at him and tell him he did not need anymore training and leave.

But that was the problem, looking at him. He could tell just how upset the zomboil was...because it was like a reflection of how he was feeling but without the fear.

He was so weak.

Weak enough that he was afraid of his friend.

Weak enough that he feared losing him more than he feared him.

"I offered to train you when we first met," he said finally. "Whether or not you still need the training or if you even want it, the offer still stands." Did that make it clear enough?

Probably not. He could not just let things go like this. This was Alexander he was talking to, and he could not be afraid of him if they were to remain friends. Whatever he had fought...had not looked like this. It had been cold. Harsh. It could never have shown the pain that he was seeing in the zomboil's eyes. That was it, he just had to separate the two. Alexander would never hurt him. Whatever that thing was would, but Alexander would not. And this was Alexander.

With a confidence and strength he did not feel he walked over to stand directly in front of the taller boil, looking him in the eye. He could not afford to be afraid now.  

[Seussi]

Alexander just nodded, miserably. He understood perfectly well. His friend didn't want to come right out and say "no" but that's how he felt. He didn't want to train Alex anymore, and Alex knew exactly why. What he had done was horrible and unforgivable, and he was just about to turn and leave.

Then Yin walked right up to him, and stared him in the eyes. Alex was taken aback, shocked. He wanted to step back, away from Yin, somewhat afraid that Yin was about to hit him. But why not? Alex probably completely deserved it. He deserved several punches by now. He just grimaced, and closed his eyes, and waited for it.

And nothing happened.

He blinked his eyes open, just to see Yin still there, still staring up at him. Why was he just standing there, not saying or doing anything? Alex just stared back and suddenly...

Suddenly he was thinking of doing something incredibly inappropriate. He saw it clearly in his mind, what he should do. He thought about grabbing Yin's shoulders and leaning down, and...

NO.

Alex's eyes widened, and now he did step back, away from the other boil. Confusion flooded him, the back of his neck was starting to feel warm. "I--I have to go." that was it, that was all he could say as he turned and snatched up his skateboard, and moved faster then he probably ever had in his unlife out of that room and not looking back.  

[ramenli]

Instead of looking back at him the zomboil just seemed to close his eyes and wait for something. And...Yin had no idea what to do. He just continued to stare up at him, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do and drawing a complete blank.

Then Alexander opened his eyes and he just found himself staring still, wondering if maybe he should look away but he simply could not. Something seemed to change, and it was as if time was stretching out far too long.

And then he was stepping back and he was leaving.

"Alexander?" He watched him leave, more confused than ever. He stood there for several minutes before it became too much. Do not think. Just do not think. Each blow to the dummy hurt, pulling at his chest painfully. But at least it was a pain he understood.